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Underground > Creation >

The House on Badger Hill

12:07 / 29.10.04

It's been a while since we had one of these; special Halloween treat here. Add a paragraph or three to further the story. Challenge finishes at 12 noon GMT on Monday November 1, so let's try to wrap it up by then.

Stephen took a drag on his cigarette as he studied the map he'd laid out on the passenger seat of the car. The damn place must be round here somewhere. Obviously, it wasn't shown on the map. He'd been given directions in that last village - a good, what, seven or eight miles back along that country road? - and was pretty sure he was in the right area. But he couldn't see anything that looked like a hill with a house on it.

He glanced at his mobile phone, parked on the dashboard. Still no call from Sue. Maybe he should have sorted out all that shit before he left home, but when there was an insurance claim like this one to verify, his boss wouldn't have taken kindly to him putting off the visit any longer. Even if it meant going out there at the weekend. Maybe if he wrapped this up pretty quickly he could still get back for that Halloween party Sue had organised.

A grinding sound forced Stephen's eyes from the map and to the rear-view mirror; in it a muck-coated tractor was chugging along the road towards where he was parked in the lay-by.

23:07 / 29.10.04

He let his sight rest on the mirror for a spell, watching the tractor noisily trundle forward.

He bit his lip and scratched his chin. Time was marching on, advancing as surely as the tractor, and with it the growing threat of upsetting both Sue and his Boss. If he couldn't find the house soon he'd be in more than one sort of trouble. Usually in these situations his pride would be known to get the better of him but he knew that now was not the time for that.

Stephen grabbed his suit jacket from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car.
He waved to hail the attention of the unseen driver as his arm slid into the sleeve.
The tractor stopped in its tracks, a moment passing before the clamouring grumble of its engine died too. The driver, a grizzled and weatherworn old man in overalls and green boots, jerked open his door and began to climb out.

Stephen discarded his fag onto the ground at his feet, an act which caused the driver a moments pause as he looked from the discarded butt to Stephen's clean and starched suit with a fleeting yet noticable look of contempt.

"Can I help yeh?"
"Yes. Please." Stephen advanced, holding the map in his hands. "I'm looking for Badger Hill"
"Sure, let's see. It's right h..."

From back in the car, Stephen's mobile announced itself.

01:18 / 31.10.04

" Excuse me " said Stephen " I do have to take this... I think it might be my wife. "
There was a pause, while Stephen keyed in redial in the light of the dashboard, dark twisted trees looming up in the offing, while the man in the moon appeared to be laughing, it was getting quite late.
" What, " asked Stephen, as he realised slowly, and tiringly, that his cell was out of juice " Are you looking at, you fucking haystack ? "
" Well there's no call for that, zir, "
It was a question of who went for their gun first after that.
Stephen reached out for the Walther PPK hidden in his dashboard, but would that be enough against the negative energy that this avatar of the farming community appeared to have at his command ? Plus, the guy had a shotgun, Stephen thought, as the crows rose up, as in a chorus, off the mud red fields.

19:41 / 31.10.04

Bleeding quite badly, and hallucinating a bit, from the pain, Stephen stood up. He looked at the farmer, the green wellies, the ginger sideburns, the, as Stephen would have had it with his big city ways, complete lack of respect for basic complexion issues.

" Right, " muttered Stephen " How d'you fancy not so much a chemical, more a surgical peel ? "

There was an agonised whine from Stephen's poor victim at this point, but Stephen didn't care, at all.

" How d'you feel about foxhunting ? " Asked Stephen.

" MMMfffff " said the farmer.

" While I sympathise entirely with your point of view, I just... Fuck, hang on, what was that ? "

" MMM... MMM "

A dark shadow had fallen on this rural tableau - Stephen wasn't the only dangerous thing in this neck of the woods, nor was in he in any sense the worst. There were... things, that's only way I can describe them, that had been there for a very long time. Things, understandably, that Stephen wouldn't have known about, dreaming as he was of his comfy flat. So,

" Shhhtteeeevveee, " said the godless abortion that now confronted him " Shhtttteeeeevveee, you and I now make bayyybbbeeees. " It said.

" Well no " said Stephen, lighting an Embassy No1

" Buuuuttt whhyy noootttt ? " Asked the thing.

" Because I'm in a relationship, or something. "

" Noooo ! "

" Well there it is, luv, I'm so drunk I can barely stand up straight... I think this farmer's available though. "

" Iiii eeeaaattt his brrraaiinn ? "

" Mm. Well whatever. Do y'know if anywhere's open round here ? "

" For ddddrrriiiinnnnkkks ? "

" Yes. "

" No in the viiilllaaagge, is aaaallll ssshhuuuuutt, but they say on Badger Hilll, the bar, she never closes. "

" Up there you mean ? "

" Yessss. "

" Ok, cool... " said Stephen, as he made his way up to Badger Hill, past the tombstones, and the broken angels, hardly suspecting what lay ahead of him, and hardly aware of how much he'd left behind, when his car had broke down, and that.

02:57 / 07.11.04

The End.

Whisky Priestess

22:20 / 07.11.04

I entered a Barbelith communal story (possibly the only one that ever got finished - remember Seven White Gates or whatever it was called?) for a writing competition once. It didn't get anywhere, but had it won I would have bought you all chocolate.

I hope that's inspiring.

06:22 / 08.11.04

No-one gives a shit about communal stories these days - Meludreen and Alex excluded, of course. All too busy with your fucking iPods and skateboards and stripy scarves.

Bastards.

06:35 / 08.11.04

Don't worry, we can start our own communal stories and they'll be about how smelly and ugly and no fun the rest of them are and we can pass the paragraphs under the table and sneak peeks at them and laugh and then hide them and look away when the others start to get interested and tell then no because they weren't interested before and they'll be dead jealous and we can laugh and then write about that and they'll just get even more jealous and interested and it'll be really, really, really funny and stuff!

Hows about it then?