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The 'Imagine-You-Have-A-House-As-Big-As-This' Game...

22:10 / 27.10.04

Inspired by invisible Al's shed thread:

If you lived in a house as big as Longleat, like so:

What would be in it?

What you have to do for this game is equip every room. My house has, amongst other things, a proper temple, a big conservatory full of amazing plants and also butterflies, a little home 'lab' to make lovely things out of plants I grow (like a baby chemistry lab, but especially for making good, mind blowing concoctions), a library, a viewing room for looking at the stars and obviously a computer room.

Last time I played this with my son he said he wanted a skateboarding room with a big skate pipe in, a room for 'big video' and a yellow slide which goes from the top floor down to the bottom.

What goes in your house?

23:14 / 27.10.04

Library. Computer Room adjacent to music(creation) room. Greenhouse. Playroom for lawngnomes. Gym for workouts and sparring with brother and best friend, who share the North wing. Basement devoted to network of servers and a few rooms for occult doings. Art gallery and theater for displaying the projects my friends actually finish. All food delivered daily by Papa John's. And don't forget the roof access from every room.

On a side note, I was cleaning out boxes the other day and happened upon a project like this from my highschool freshman German class. For some reason I had a room consisting of exactly 573 sheep. I have no idea why.

23:25 / 27.10.04

For some reason I had a room consisting of exactly 573 sheep. I have no idea why.

I don't care why. I want one too.

23:52 / 27.10.04

Heck, that house is far, far too big. I’d feel compelled to fill it up with people before anything else, and before I knew it I’d be wanting to move out again, so I could have a teensy amount of peace and quiet.

Oddly enough, only yesterday I was idly daydreaming of my own dream house for rattling around in. I present Derwent Isle House:

I’d like to invite some friends around and create a new society. A society which is centred around working in the kitchen garden during the day, and getting smashed and staging theatrical pieces and singalongs on the lawn of an evening. And then sleeping in till noon. I don’t ask for much.

So, um, I’d probably be most focussed on fitting the house with the right kind of beds, and heavy curtains, er, and kitchen implements. And lots of suitably flouncy clothes. And I’d doubtless spend a fair wodge of that ‘unlimited money’ on stocking the wine cellar, although that probably goes without saying. But, y’know, it’s all about the front lawn, the trees, the fresh garden produce, the sheer joy of lying around on the grass and getting hammered in the open air after you’ve been digging all afternoon. Oh, and being able to trot down to the beach when you've got the spins. Winters would be pretty much the same, except inside and even more lazy.

00:22 / 28.10.04

Right.
I think we should all club together and make this a reality.

I have four pounds sixty, two penny chews, a piece of brown parcel string and some fluff.

03:39 / 28.10.04

If I emptied out my penny tin I could probably get as much as 50p.

One of my rooms would comprise of five real dolls, respectably dressed and posed as if taking high tea. House rules would be that no-one is to ever directly discuss this room.

09:47 / 28.10.04

I've not done this game since I was seven. I used to draw all the rooms out on a big sheet of paper with felt tips. Of course, then it was a spaceship and not a mansion.

See, I'm going to get lots of money someday to make this a reality. All the above suggestions I would go with, specially the dolls. (God! Why didn't I think of that before?)
I'd also add a big bathroom with underwater speakers and a watery tunnel that leads from the bath and twists out to an outdoor swimming pool. I've always wanted dolphins too, ever since watching 2010, but I reckon It'd have to be a channel that leads to the sea. They'd come of their own accord for the intellectual company and tasty fishies.

But I could do without all of those as long as I had lots and lots of one particular thing...

Secret.
Passages.

Hundreds of 'em. Like a rabbit warren.

Whisky Priestess

10:38 / 28.10.04

Right. Let's get serious.

1. A library, of course, but it would have to have
a) one of those wheely-staircases for reaching high books like in My Fair Lady
b) a gallery/walkway
c) a chandelier
d) at least two secret passages accessible only through hidden doors which open when you push a certain book
e) a working fireplace
f) one wall which revolves when you twist a candelabrum to reveal a fully-stocked cocktail bar

2) I also want an "arts wing". This will include
a) a fifty-seater cabaret lounge, complete with candlelit tables, leather banquettes, bar (obviously), Steinway grand piano, Bang and Olufsen PA system and star cloth.
b) a fully-equipped 150-seat theatre
c) a recording studio
d) two large rehearsal rooms
e) a dance studio with huge windows looking out over the bowling green (did I mention the bowling green?) and mirrors up the wall and that. The walls of the studio will be adorned with artworks from the artists and sculptors who live in the roof of the arts wing
f) a ballroom/gig venue for ambassadors' receptions and visiting bands

3. An indoor ski slope

13:51 / 28.10.04

A library - one modelled after Whisky Priestess's will do fine, thanks

An ice rink

A velodrome

A big workshop with stands and jars full off little fiddly things, and a wall with shapes drawn on so that the tools go back in the right place.

An enormous bathroom with a free-standing bath in the middle

A huge kitchen with an open fire

Secret passageways are a must, and rooms that are sometimes there and sometimes mysteriously not. Maybe a tunnel to the local pub

A walk-in pantry full of yummy things

a shed. with a kettle.

and I wouldn't mind a porn-star lounge like in the house ghadis was house-sitting earlier this year.

14:26 / 28.10.04

A hall of mirrors leading to a perfect recreation of the Black Lodge from "Twin Peaks" - complete with backwards speaking dwarf.

A perfect white room.

Occult room is a must, as is a library.

Secret passages are a given.

Stairs-what-turn-to-super-happy-fun-slide when cartoony-over-sized lever is pulled.

Small, opulent, decadent room with lush, over-sized couch, fireplace and low-lighting.

Sex-dungeon/playroom. Just because.

15:07 / 28.10.04

1. An explosions room; a room chock full of explosions of varying sizes. Interestingly shaped debris, too. I imagine it to be the same dimensions as the plaster casts room at the British Museum (where they have that huge pillar), ie plenty of height. Not sure if you should be able to walk about it in an explosion-proof suit (in which case there'd need to be lots of cast iron spiral staircases to give you access to the centre of some of the higher up blasts) or just have a glass walkway through the middle.

2. A hot-air balloon shaft to take you from the top floor to the lowest subteranean level, and all floors in between. Pitch black, except when lit by the balloon flame.

3. An electricity sub-station room. A bit like the cupboard under the stairs, writ large. The centrepiece would be a complete electricity pylon. The rest would be all chunky transformers and curvy insulators and fat cables and suchlike. Constantly humming and crackling; terrifying to walk through.

4. A trampoline room. A single trampoline covering the entire floor. Wood pannelled walls with horizontal branches coming through from trees outside, at various levels. Cubby holes also at various levels around the walls, with cushions, big windows, tea and biscuits.

15:28 / 28.10.04

That house is too big for me, but I will try to fill up a wing.

- Temple
- Art Studio
- Library (connected to both Temple and Art Studio through secret passages)
- Giant playroom for my son and his friends
- Padded room...just because
- Dojo
- Meditation Room
- Classroom/Lecture Hall
- Movie Theatre
- AV Computer Room
- Rock Climbing Room
- A proper stage with a pole
- Roman Bath
- Pillow Room
- etc...

I could go on, but I think I would just rather fill it with some of my favourite people and their families. So I guess I would turn it into some sort of apartment complex. What is the use of all those toys without anyone to play with?

16:52 / 28.10.04

Didn't Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton have a trampoline room?
I seem to remember something about that and walls and suits made of velcro.

That's how to recklessly spend money.

17:00 / 28.10.04

I want everything everyone already said.

I also want a room that is completely full of Habitrail tubes, going all different directions, and through a big aquarium, so the hamsters and the fish can look at each other up close. And also through a big bird cage full of parrots and finches. And there should also be large-size Habitrail tunnels through the room for the cats, so they can look at the hamsters and fish and birds. And some water-filled ones, too, because why should the hamsters have more fun than the fish? Okay, so it's just a big room full of tubes now.

I want lots of secret chambers and cubbyholes in addition to the secret passages. Places to stash things, and to have secret meetings where no one can ever find you and you can giggle a lot.

And a ball bath, because they won't let me in the one at Chuckie Cheese.

And a microbrewery, and a vineyard, and a wine press and cellars.

Ex

17:18 / 28.10.04

Are we allowed to go a little way outside?

Underneath the house: subterranean caverns, some cosy, most flooded and navigable by punt and flaming torchlight.

In the grounds: an ampitheatre with useful accoustics so that jealous guests can hear their swains murmuring to other guests.

A yew maze. In the centre, a small stone tower from which one can view the maze and see as far as...

The lake.

This is reminding me slightly of a strip by Stephen Appleby. The opening description of a house called (Small Birds Singing itself) had a wrought-iron aviary in the shape of the globe. It is filled with birds who the locals say are children, who visited the gardens and never wanted to leave.
The birds in the picture sing "It's not true!" "It's a lie!"

22:47 / 28.10.04

First off, allow me to introduce the Di Rosa Art Preserve. This man had it all... check out the galleries. I hope to be as cool as this man some day- he has cars parked on end on his lawn.

Now, my house, which wil be sooooo much cooler:
-Recording studio, Theatre, Library, Bar, etc., etc.,
-Secret passageways are a must. So are trapdoors.
-A bath tub big enough form me to lie down in and be completely submerged. None of this knees-poking-out-of-the-water nonsense.
-Adult-sized human habitrails. With one of those ball pits like they have at McD's, because my sweetheart always gets a devious grin when she sees one.
-Evil Genius Room with Robot Factory, Death Ray, and Shark Pit.
-A room filles with nothing but maiquins and dressmaker's dummies.