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Three Wishes For Bono

Ethan Hawke

16:49 / 21.10.04

NEW YORK - U2 frontman and global activist Bono is one of three recipients of the inaugural TED Prize from the Technology, Entertainment, Design conference.
The other recipients are Canadian photo-artist Edward Burtynsky and medical technologies pioneer Robert Fischell. Each will receive $100,000 and the chance to have three wishes fulfilled by a group of world-class companies and many members of the TED Community, it was announced Tuesday.

What will Bono wish for? Can we fathom the conundrum that is the mind of Bono?

If you were a genie, like Shaquille O'Neal in that one movie, which celebrity would you like to bestow your wishy boon on?

ibis the being

17:39 / 21.10.04

Well, that'd have to be Jude Law, because the poor man's dying to have sex with me for just one long, long night without his Sienna Miller ever finding out. And I'm a compassionate person.

Baz Auckland

21:05 / 21.10.04

I'm too in shock that this group decided...(expletive deleted)...Bono is the most worthy person to receive a prize like that....

Bed Head

21:27 / 21.10.04

Well, I suppose it must be because they’re expecting him to wish for world peace and an end to hunger and stuff. What a surprise it’ll be when he wishes for his own cocaine plantation, a whole new skeleton made of solid gold, with diamonds for fingernails, and a secret base in a volcano complete with nuclear weapons. For when he’s had the chance to think of some more wishes, of course.

8===>Q: alyn

23:11 / 24.10.04

I would not grant three wishes to any one celebrity. Instead, I would appoint a council of famous old men: Ed Koch, Marion Barry, G. Gordon Liddy, John Witherspoon, Tom Waites, Reggie Jackson, Jesse Jackson, Bill Murray, and Mikhail Gorbachev. They would be required to settle the disposition of each wish by a plurality.

While they deliberated, I would house them in the skybox of a Swedish sports arena overlooking tryouts and practice for various Olympic sporting events. I would fly in a crack team of hospitality professionals from Bellaggio or the Sands to look after them. If the old farts got too obstreperous, I would use FBI hostage negotiator tactics like turning off the heat, or blasting Skorpion or Ace of Bass really loud. Shake em up a little.

I would sell this to Bravo or A&E as the Reality Show to end all Reality Shows, and I would call it The Synod or, if that's too brainy, The Council of Nine.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

13:18 / 25.10.04

Bono should wish for a new face, one that is capable of conveying emotions other than "looks really fucking smug and sinister"

Ganesh

14:06 / 25.10.04

He'll probably wish for adventurous social sex-play with all the other members of his troop. And bananas.

Hang on, no. That's bonobo.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:31 / 25.10.04

No, that really is Bono.

Cui Bono? Bono Bono.