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As A Child, Which Celebrities Did You Want To Kill ?

Alex's Grandma

18:14 / 12.10.04

Ok, back at my parents' place over the weekend, and at a bit of a loss for something to do of a wet afternoon, I was looking through some boxes up in the attic when I came across this home-made picture book that I must have put together when I was something like Seven, possibly even younger, and which was made up of drawings of people in the media that I wanted to kill. And I know that because that was it's title " People I Want To Kill. " Examples including Michael Fish and Ian McCaskill, the TV weathermen, Frank Bough, Dickie Davies and Michael Aspel. I've no idea what it was that bothered me about these people in particular - there were no reasons or anything, just the pictures and names, but what I'm wondering, anyway, is if anyone else had a similar thing, a celebrity hit list in their junior school years, or whether I was just an exceptionally disturbed young man.

Assuming the former, who'd have been on it ? Or who actually was...

Ganesh

18:32 / 12.10.04

Hmm. Did you ever cut your pets open to see what they looked like inside?

Erm, no; I never particularly wanted to kill celebrities. I did, in the darker days of early adolescence, devise a wish-fulfilment power fantasy shitlist of my 'tormentors' along with the eeevil tortures I would somehow cause to be visited upon them. Not sure that's the same thing, though.

Alex's Grandma

19:27 / 12.10.04

Well, this is what struck me as being, um, interesting about my thoughts in The Wonder Years, that they all seemed to be focused on people on telly - A friend of mine, age 12, used to keep files on his next door neighbours, when their milk got delivered, what they did for a living and that kind of thing, as I think all children should, it's a way of engaging with the local community, but for some reason, I never got into that.

Haus of Mystery

20:08 / 12.10.04

Frank Bough.
You wanted to kill Frank Bough aged SEVEN?

Can I vote for you?

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:19 / 13.10.04

Weird: irrational hatred of certain celebrities usually develops during adolescence, doesn't it? I'm sure when I was seven I loved most of the celebrities I was aware of. Except Johnny Briggs, the little shit.

_Boboss

08:25 / 13.10.04

something odd about alex's choices. maybe you're just driven nuts by polyester blazers with large shoulder pads, and alarmingly anachronistic seventies haircut/saltnpepper-tache combos surviving deep into the nineteen-eighties.

alex, do you get angry if you run the theme tune to saturday lunchtime wrestling through your head?

i think this is all about a certin type of man, a certian type of memory, and the weird barren feeling you get on a saturday when you realise all the kids tv is over.

the fucking weird thing about all this, is that despite everything, i mean everything, alex doesn't seem to have beef with david icke.

Sax

09:08 / 13.10.04

Fly: You must have loved his dog Razzle, though. And harboured strange feelings you didn't really understand for his hard-as-nails older sister.

Unless, of course, we're talking about Corrie's Mike Baldwin.

Haus of Mystery

09:25 / 13.10.04

His brother Albert was fucking ace - always trying to maim Johnny with some outlandish 'science' experiment.

Ganesh

09:31 / 13.10.04

Fucking Ace from Doctor Who?

Tryphena Absent

11:13 / 13.10.04

Except Johnny Briggs, the little shit.

How many times do I have to tell you to leave Johnny Briggs alone?

I hated Yvette Fielding and all newsreaders except Moira Stuart and John Craven. Did I want to kill them? Absolutely no idea!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:25 / 13.10.04

Yvette redeemed herself tho', when she went over to What's Up, Doc?

Haus of Mystery

12:07 / 13.10.04

Yvette Fielding was in 'Seaview' the most miserable kids TV show EVER, the bastard.

Tryphena Absent

12:24 / 13.10.04

Yvette Fielding has never redeemed herself.

Glandmaster

12:29 / 13.10.04

But then I still hate him now.

Alex's Grandma

13:34 / 13.10.04

The weird barren feeling you get on a Saturday when all the kids TV is over

Yeah, I think that must have been it. That slightly sickening moment when you realised you were actually going to have to go outside or something, when there was nothing else on except the afternoon sport. That fucking printer that used to type out the football results at around about Four... the thought of that, frankly, still gives me the horrors, even now.

Erm, I guess I'm showing my age a bit here - All this was well before advent of half-decent video games... Bloody kids these days, they don't know they're born...

Papess

13:41 / 13.10.04

I never exactly wanted to kill him, but he bored me to death:

Mr. Rogers

I would have been pleased enough if some moths had eaten his damn cardigan.

Tryphena Absent

13:47 / 13.10.04

Me and my brother sometimes have this conversation (about once a year) that goes along the lines of 'if you had to beat up one person in the entire world who would you choose?' He invariably always chooses Wesley Crusher. I'm more about Delia Smith. Obviously it's Glandmaster who's reminded me of this.

Ganesh

19:07 / 13.10.04

Well, yes, Wesley Crusher, obviously. Except that a) he's a fictional character rather than a "celebrity", and b) I was a twentysomething adult rather than a child.

Ender

19:45 / 13.10.04

I would love for Wil Wheaton(Wesley Crusher) to look me in the eye, and say, "I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

Ganesh

19:51 / 13.10.04

No, you're projecting. You want to look Steve in the eye and say, "I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. While sub-standard women applaud."

Ender

19:53 / 13.10.04

Look Ganesh, if you wanted me to hook you up with steve, all you had to do was ask. Dont get your hopes up or anythng, I really don't think you are his type.

Ganesh

19:57 / 13.10.04

More projecting. As wellll you know, jokesuit.

Ender

20:19 / 13.10.04

Ganesh, hold on a minute, you sure have this thing all figured out don't you? Come on! laugh a little, have fun, I am joke after all

Ganesh

10:07 / 14.10.04

Indeed. Joke seeks poke from bloke. Called, um, Steve.

Alex's Grandma

10:47 / 14.10.04

B, it's not just Dr G, a lorra us 'Lithers wanna *hook up* with Steve.

Benny the Ball

18:37 / 15.10.04

I really wanted to hurt Bungle.

Now-days I just want to hit Matthew Lillard, really hard.

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