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Underground > Creation >

Obscure Poems By Famous Poets

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:59 / 08.10.04

1.

Ah, badger!
Nose a lump of coal,
Fur like iron wool,
Black as the dead of night.
Stripes white as bones,
Eyes like chips of flint,
Teeth sharp and steel:
Happy birthday.
Love, Ted.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:02 / 08.10.04

That's called 'Badger', by the way. Here's another:

2.

Cod! Dear Cod
Cod, a sliver of shimmering steel
A piece of bendy metal
Cod, in the deep seas
Cod!
It's because of you my wives are dead.
Happy birthday.
Love, Ted.

Jack Fear

12:18 / 08.10.04

whodo
        es
            amo
         amas
      amat
    amen
ama
     n(ice
   t
      in
k
l
e
sin
    to
th
   eg
    l
ass
     )have
to KILL to
getafuckindr
     ink
a
round
he
re

Jack Fear

12:20 / 08.10.04

(found scribbled on a [damp] cocktail napkin from the Deux Magots, BTW)

Sax

13:18 / 08.10.04

I'm particulary fond of Dorothy Parker's "Real Man":

If I could find a real man
Who'd treat me right and buy me pressies
I wouldn't have to hang around
With all these nancy boys and lezzies.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

11:02 / 12.10.04

Pointy birds -
Oh pointy, pointy!
Anoint my head!
Anointy nointy.

Whisky Priestess

11:23 / 27.10.04

so much depends
upon
where you put
the
line breaks

full of sig
-nificance

surrounded by
white

space.

- William Carlos Williams
from William Carlos Williams Explains His Craft (Sesame Street Books 1986)

Sax

06:14 / 29.10.04

I walked about
On my own
For a bit.

And saw
Some flowers.

WW

Jack Fear

11:06 / 29.10.04

Pfffft. His sister wrote that one for him.

Alex's Grandma

13:34 / 29.10.04

Tess, dear Tess,
What's the fuss all about ?
If you'll only put out
There won't be a problem

Thomas Hardy

Alex's Grandma

13:56 / 29.10.04

Tess, my Tess,
It's all such a mess
But why all of this stress ?
Just take off your dress
And avoid early death,
My beauty

Again, from Hardy's private papers.

Sax

13:57 / 29.10.04

You're really getting into this, aren't you?

Alex's Grandma

17:32 / 29.10.04

It's looking horribly like it.

Really, I should have rhymed Tess with If You'd Only Said Yes, but... well that way lies madness, after all.

Whisky Priestess

22:25 / 07.11.04

I was going to try and do an Andrew Motion pastiche, but I couldn't bear to read any of his fucking awful poetry. Plus he's sort of self-satirising, in a totally inadvertent way. That birthday rap for Prince William ... Christ.

So ...

Haiku

Five syllables first
Then seven. That's haiku. For
you and you and you.

Sax

06:24 / 08.11.04

Is that the fabled Jim'll Fix It Haiku?

Whisky Priestess

02:03 / 09.11.04

Might be.

Loomis

11:37 / 12.11.04

'Neath Ben Bulben's buttocks lies
Bill Yeats, a poet twoice the soize
Of William Shakespear, as they say
Down Ballykillywuchlin way . . .

- Don't know if it's in the spirit of the thread, but this is a real one. Ezra Pound's parody of W. B. Yeats. I didn't make it up, honest.

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