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First of all, congradulations are in order. If you are reading this you are now a member of the Committee of Discordian Events. Your job is to read posts in this thread and attempt to ascertain if Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, Discord, SPAM, Ninjas AND Pirates had anything to do with this. You may or may not feel the need to include evidence to support or denounce your claim, but if you come up with good evidence, you will get goth points for no apparent reason(which can be redeemed for a wide variety of spooky substances, up to and including the Voltaire Winter Camp).
Here is your first case for examination. The preliminary review has shown that it has all the earmarks of a classic Erisian encounter.
First, it involves EMERGENCY PANTS.
Second, it involves a "non-practicing" Discordian.
Third, it did not turn out anywhere near the way anyone anticipated.
Fourth, it's really wierd.
Fifth, the ending was actually pretty cool.
So, the events in this report transpired during the last weekend in September.
The Subject, we will call him....the subject, was summoned to a LARP(a live action role playing game in which they beat people with foam weapons) by a woman he met online. There he was, to use a quote from The Subject, "dissed" by said woman(we are led to believe that this means that he was ignored or otherwise neglected, but as we are not fluent in jive or leet, we can't be sure). He was, before this, asked to accompany said woman, referred to by him as the "biotch"(still researching this, we believe it to be some form of deragatory slang for female) to a Ren Faire, a place where they reinact the middle ages and attempt to separate people from as much money as possible. Even though he was given faulty information he decided to go anyway as he said he would. So he went and after finding the "biotch" was promptly "dissed" again and went to search for "EMERGENCY PANTS"(the uppercase conveys the deep bass background that happens whenever The Subject uses this word. As he wanders he finds a place that would have said material of clothing and after chatting with the woman behind the counter, begins an interaction that seems to be going quite well, again, to quote The Subject, "she's like Bettie Page, only REALLY hot, and she quotes Shakespeare."
From this the Committee for Preliminary Review and Notation of Reports for the Committee of Discordian Event Identification has annotated the following.
The Subject is clearly a Discordian, even without the tinfoil hat. We really need fewer committees in this organization. I like pie.
Thank you
Jim Jones of
The Committee of Discordian Event Identification |
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