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Underground > Creation >

The Museum of the Future

Whisky Priestess

22:14 / 23.09.04

What would be in it? What would these objects look like? Amd what's the story behind them?

More later. Maybe some xamples. Tired but had to put this up before I forgot.

Sax

Ballot papers.

Ronald Reagan's wig.

Pictures! Stories! Descriptions and that!
I know, I know ... I'll practise what I preach as soon as I get back from 100% Design.

XXII:X:II = XXX

05:57 / 18.10.04

George W. Bush's silver nose spoon, gifted to him by King Saud of Saudi Arabia as part of the arrangement that betrothed daughter Barbara Bush to the king. Engraved on the pearl handle: DEAR COWBOY, HAPPY TRAILS.

Accompanying exhibit: Dick Cheney's Pentagon storage room claim ticket for "house stash" of China white, dated January 21, 2009, the day after the Executive Branch coup that installed Bush as Dictator for Life.

/+,

8===>Q: alyn

13:14 / 20.10.04

We keep Josiah Schwartzeneggar, the progeny by rape of the first US President born outside the country and Xtina Aguilera, in this suspended animation jar surrounded by Space Marines, to prevent another escape. Josiah last escaped in 2019, unleashing mors ontologica on a massive scale with a Christian punkpop album called Ungodly Chrysm.

8===>Q: alyn

13:21 / 20.10.04

The album itself is presented here, though lead has been poured over its laser-readable side. In Japan it went triple platinum in 47 hours, and the psychic shockwaves are still being felt throughout the Pacific Rim.

Believe it or not, there was no mechanism to accurately measure psychic pain until 2016, leading many of the callous primitives to believe that sufferers were just whiners.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

12:47 / 21.10.04

By a curious coincidence involving outsourcing and labour shortages, the last surviving member of the British Royal Family is housed in a separate building in the same facility. Sadly, he can never leave his insulated nutrient-gel-filled tank, due to the unfortunate consequences of severe inbreeding and being gestated inside a mother whose bloodstream was at least 32.625% percent gin for the majority of the pregnancy.

The "no chin" gene has become so pronounced in this tragic creature that he has no lower mandible at all. His only entertainment or recreation is pointing a stick at imaginary grouse and gurgling "'Ang! 'Ang!," or in waving at the dimly-glimpsed faces of the gawping onlookers who visit his tank.

Wave back. It makes him happy.

at the scarwash

20:09 / 21.10.04

VJB:
George W. Bush's silver nose spoon, gifted to him by King Saud of Saudi Arabia as part of the arrangement that betrothed daughter Barbara Bush to the king. Engraved on the pearl handle: DEAR COWBOY, HAPPY TRAILS.

Shouldn't it be inscribed "Happy Rails?"

But anyway...

The prototype of the high powered laser now hidden in strategic locations world-wide to sear corporate logos directly over the retinas of unsuspecting victims. Originally developed by Coca Cola, it is now available for licensing to any corporation with the cash. Ironically, the same technology is now being used by optological surgeons for the removal of cluttered adverscars from patients rendered completely blind by a surfeit of logoblasties.

bjacques

11:44 / 25.10.04

An ice cube from the North Pole icecap, from the last patch of ice to melt. It uncovered, by the way, the entrance to the Hollow Earth!

iamus

20:15 / 26.10.04

The Museum of the Future.

Since the major breakthrough of Campbell's Condensed History in 2024, the sum total of human experience can now be stored on an constantly streamed, Internet-linked module no larger than a Vintage Apple iPod. Providing authentic history to beamed directly into the brain as you walk, the CCH Module has ensured that the museum has become as obsolete as Ria Paschelle's Statiophonic, Oxyogenetic, Amplifier-Graphaphoner-Delaverberator.

As a tribute to it's noble ancestor, the CCH Module presents the Museum of the Future.

In the past.

Whisky Priestess

11:18 / 27.10.04

And in the Arts and Entertainment Section, Keira Knightley's 2036 Academy Award for her performance as Blanche Dubois in the radical remake Streetcar in Space!
The teethmarks around Oscar's neck are believed to be those of that year's host Sir Ozzy Osbourne, whose senile bouts of dentomania were kept a deadly secret until four years later, when a Loyd Grossman (LG #4) nearly had his knee chewed off while presenting an LA episode of Through the Keyhole.

William Sack

12:30 / 27.10.04

I think there might be a whole wing of the museum devoted to spam, the centrepiece of which would be an exhibit showing a man breaking through walls with his cock.

Whisky Priestess

20:59 / 27.10.04

Thanks to the discovery of f-dimensional space by Sony researchers in 2113, there's a whole building devoted to Spam and its pivotal role in the Recovered Meat wars of the middle 2070s. The cock sculpture is by Wombat Barrymore, great-granddaughter of Drew, and won the Turner Prize in 2084

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