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NASCAR

00:24 / 25.02.02

Hi everybody, may I know something about about NASCAR race. Is it held in Florida? Does the champion receive the Daytona Cup? How many rounds does a driver has to complete on a superspeedway before the checkered flag is shown? Are all the tracks oval with high banks at the corners? Many thanks in advance.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

01:07 / 25.02.02

quote:Originally posted by John Chong:
Hi everybody, may I know something about about NASCAR race. Is it held in Florida?

No. This is a common misconception. As a matter of fact, the NASCAR race is held in what was once the ancient kingdom of Mercia, and was originally instigated by King Offa around 770 AD, as a way for the young men of the region to prove their virility. The name NASCAR comes from the Saxon dialect words "Nassak" (lit.: "the unhatched offspring of a domestic fowl") and "Secar" (lit.: "that with which one digs food").

quoteoes the champion receive the Daytona Cup?

Indeed so. But how many of us know that the word "Daytona" is derived from the Saxon phrase "Deage Yeat Oeanae", meaning "the passage of the birth"?

quote:
How many rounds does a driver has to complete on a superspeedway before the checkered flag is shown?

As as modern historians have ascertained, the original answer was rather complex. Offa's holy men would take a piebald donkey up to the very top of the highest clff in the region. After much ceremony, the unfortunate creature would be pushed off. The seers would then gather to interpret the splatter pattern on the ground below, from which they would derive the most propritious number of rounds. In these less superstitious times, of course, the number of rounds is derived from a free-range turkey flung from the roof of a multi-storey car park.

quote:
Are all the tracks oval with high banks at the corners? Many thanks in advance.

Yes. There could be no corners in the track, as Offa's soothsayers belived that evil spirits might hide in them. However, a perfect circle was deemed offensive to God. The oval shape was chosen as a compromise.

quote:
Many thanks in advance.

You're welcome. Hope this helps!

04:35 / 25.02.02

Just because I feel like doing something:

quote: Is it held in Florida?

Some are, like the Daytona 500. Some aren't, like the race in Bristol.

quoteoes the champion receive the Daytona Cup?

I don't think so. The winner of the Daytona 500 gets it. Since NASCAR rankings are based on points recieved from how the rank in various rankings, I think all they get is a NASCAR championship trophy.

quote: How many rounds does a driver has to complete on a superspeedway before the checkered flag is shown?

Depends on the race. Anywhere from 250-500.

quote: Are all the tracks oval with high banks at the corners?

As far as I know, yes. The cars go to fast to be able to turn on a normal curve.

I realize this is probably a joke, but fuck it. I spent 5 years in Tennessee. I knew this information had to come in handy some day.

05:14 / 26.02.02

From Mordant C@rnival

quote:
the NASCAR race is held in what was once the ancient kingdom of Mercia, and was originally instigated by King Offa around 770 AD, as a way for the young men of the region to prove their virility. The name NASCAR comes from the Saxon dialect words "Nassak" (lit.: "the unhatched offspring of a domestic fowl") and "Secar" (lit.: "that with which one digs food").

May I know which continent is the kingdom of Mercia located?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

08:16 / 26.02.02

It's not on any continent- it's located on my septic isle, in England.

08:16 / 26.02.02

Boy howdy, don' none y'all know nothin 'bout NASCAR? Well let me enlighten ya as you big city folks would say

Down 'round these parts there are 3 main ways uh havin fun: cow-tippin, hog wrasslin, an NASCAR.

Now mind ya the first two are fun, when you get a cow up on a hill and tip it over, you can hear the "moooooo!" miles aways as it kicks its limbs goin down the hill. Hog wrasslin is fun, but after awhile you gets real mad 'cause the hog's always winnin'. So's you gets your knife and cuts it up for dinner. Fresh kilt hog's real nice for dinner.

NASCAR, on the other hand's real fun. Everybudy round these parts wants to be a NASCAR driver. When I done gradiated from 10th grade, I wuz so proud cuz I was the only kid from the family to make it that far. So's I went to the driving school and tried to signs up. Well, I wuzn't allowed and when I asked why they said, "Tommy, you gotta go through 12 grades to drive a car". 12 grades!! ooooh-weee, that's like college or somethin.

Since I couldn' drive in the cars I had to watch like everybody else. Watchin is fun, buts you gotta member that them point thingys don' matter none. We watch just to see the cars go and if we're lucky we see a crash. Crashin is the best part. Now its sad when someone dies, like that Dale Earnheart guy.

To answer your questions:

The races are held in Atlanta, Florida ain't no state. The revernd here says that Florida is a mystical paradise land that old people go to when they retire.

I don' know 'bout no cup. The cup ain't important.

The checkered flag is one thang you don't wanna see.

Yes, all the race tracks are oval, what do you expect them to be square?