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Amusing shop/product names

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Loomis

07:27 / 07.09.04

This thread is for bringing to the attention of the 'lith amusing, funny or clever names for products and shops. I am often tickled by clever names but never remember them so this is where they'll go from now on.

And the instigator for this idea was one that Ariadne pointed out to me the other day. A gourmet hot dog place called BAU WAUS. Utterly brilliant. Sadly, it's now closed.

And at the other end of the spectrum, an old favourite of mine is this inexplicably titled off-licence: BOOZE R US.

Any more for any more?

pointless and uncalled for

07:57 / 07.09.04

I work in a place called The Home Office. Actually this entails me spending 8-9 hours aday away from home.

Very fucking funny I can assure you.

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:07 / 07.09.04

There's a place (or possibly was a place) on Pitfield Street which has foregone the usual Hoxton habit of deceptive naming (Home - it's a bar; Shoreditch Electricity Showrooms - it's a bar; the Foundry - it's a bar), and is simply called, as far as one can tell from the signage, CHEAP BOOZE.

Also not clever, around the corner is a rare example of signflation, where what was originally Bar 120 is now, I think, Bar 170 and still climbing, that representing the cost of a drink.

pointless and uncalled for

08:16 / 07.09.04

If you're going for Shoreditch placename jappery then the award really does go to Dream Bags Jaguar Shoes which sells neither bags nor shoes but.....

wait for it........

Overpriced booze.

Overpriced booze in Shoreditch, well there's a shocker.

Another clever name is a bar in Covent Garden called Retox. I'm tempted to go in and say that I've just come from the Betty Ford clinic after an 18 month cocaine bender and see if they'll carve up a nice fat line of charley on the bar for me.

hanabius yamamura

08:43 / 07.09.04

... there is / was a chinese takeaway in edinburgh called the hung lam ... always made me think of suicidal sheep as i went past on the bus ...

Sax

09:24 / 07.09.04

With reference to earlier posts, there's an off-licence in Preston, Lancashire, called FLIPPING CHEAP BOOZE.

Axolotl

09:42 / 07.09.04

My favourite off licence name is "House of Booze". Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Gypsy Lantern

09:49 / 07.09.04

There was a furniture shop in Stoke Newington called "A&S Furniture" incorporating a poorly drawn ampersand that looked far more like another "S", hence "ASS Furniture".

A kebab shop in Beckenham called "Kebab Ye", which is presumably a specialist Glaswegian kebab shop.

A shop in Haringey called "Gas Discount Centre" which lost several letters from its shop front and didnt bother to replace them, so for over a year it was called simply "Gas Disco".

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:53 / 07.09.04

There's a queer bookshop near Russell Square that has the marvellous name Gay's The Word.

There's a textiles/fabric shop on Brick Lane called Touching Cloth.

Hattie's Kitchen

10:08 / 07.09.04

The hairdresser place on Kingsland Road, now relocated I think, called It Will Grow Back...always gave me a chuckle

Ariadne

10:26 / 07.09.04

There's a shop just round from our flat called Little Women, with a sign in the window saying 'Reductions Inside'.

Kit-Cat Club

10:32 / 07.09.04

There's a really nice meaning behind 'It will Grow Back' - read about it in an article somewhere. It's basically a shop which specialises in braiding and cornrows, etc. for afro hair, and the name refers to the fact that these are good ways of helping damaged afro hair (e.g. damaged by chemical relaxants) grow back healthily and naturally. Which I think is really ace...

Grey Area

11:16 / 07.09.04

Seen in Abu Dhabi:
- Butt Sweet House
- Technical Scissors Tailoring Company

Seen in Ghana:
- Never Mind Your Mother-in-Law Bar
- In God We Trust Engineering Works

Seen in Malaysia:
- Sincerely Religious & Cultural Artifacts

And I find the proliferation of Paddy O'Reilly's bars worldwide funny. No matter where you go, you can be sure to find an "Oirish" bar called Paddy O'Reilly's. Or some variation thereof (O'Reilly's, Paddy's, Pat O'Reilly's, etc etc ad nauseam).

Hattie's Kitchen

11:21 / 07.09.04

And then there's the booze store in the town of Beaver, Oregon, which is a source of amusement for lesbians everywhere - Beaver Liquor.

Sekhmet

12:36 / 07.09.04

We have a Beaver Plumbing. That always makes me giggle.

Short Electronics always struck me as ironic.

There's also a tire shop here that doesn't have a funny name - I think it's a Goodyear store or something - but in the front they have a very large sign bearing the slogan, "If It's In Stock, We've Got It!"

Most people don't even think twice about it...

Grey Area

12:41 / 07.09.04

Thought I'd add that "bau wau" is German cartoon speak for dogs' barking (French would be "woah! woah!", according to Tin Tin). Adds a certain something to the name I think.

Loomis

13:01 / 07.09.04

And "wøøf" in old Norse according to Asterix ...

Alex's Grandma

13:07 / 07.09.04

There used to be a kebab shop in Archway called McDoner's, complete with a big yellow M and the appropriate typeface. It has sadly now closed.

Hattie's Kitchen

13:11 / 07.09.04

I keep seeing this van driving around Hornsey, belonging to a foreign car parts/repair garage, and it's called German, Swedish and French. Or perhaps it really is a mobile porno film delivery company.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

13:16 / 07.09.04

Shelflife is a site set up by a friend of mine which deals with a magnificent selection of such things. I believe there's even a book.

Sekhmet

13:23 / 07.09.04

I forgot one - we also have Clarke Kent's Plumbing. The thing that weirds me out about that is that Mr. Kent doesn't make ANY use of his name. The logo and ads incorporate no Superman references whatsoever.

I can only assume that having the name Clarke Kent has made his life one long Superman joke and now he's sick to the teeth of the whole thing. But to me, this begs the question of why he used his own, presumably real name for his plumbing company?

pointless and uncalled for

13:33 / 07.09.04

Porn Dunwoody ERS

Elevator technicians apparently. Desperate to put in a service all to these people.

Lea-side

15:51 / 07.09.04

the elevator in my old workplace was installed and maintained by.....

Schindlers Lifts.

i shit you not.

Loomis

16:58 / 07.09.04

Yes - Schindler's Lifts! I've chuckled at them in the past but had totally forgotten. This thread has already rewarded the thirty seconds I spent creating it.

Spatula Clarke

17:19 / 07.09.04

Never actually seen it myself, but I remember reading a tabloid piece a few years back about the legal hassles facing a fast food shop called Kent Tuck-in Fried Chicken.

Loomis

17:28 / 07.09.04

That's interesting, as there are lots of those sorts of places in the UK. I've seen Hentucky's Fried Chicken, and various places like Tennessee Fried Chicken, King's Fried Chicken, etc., all with similar colours and general look to KFC, if a lot more skanky and down-market. I've always wondered how they don't get into any legal trouble.

the cat's iao

23:42 / 07.09.04

There's a booze store here in Calgary that is called Liquor Box. Apparently they have t-shirts that say, "I went down to Liquor Box".

not nervous

01:06 / 08.09.04

There's a hairdressers near me called "Curl Up and Dye". Hairdressers really are at the cutting edge of cheesy pun shop names, but i think that one is particularly superb.

phrankphutta

02:21 / 08.09.04

Health Canada tells us we should enjoy 5 to 10 servings of T&A a day.

Mazarine

03:12 / 08.09.04

The local discount warehouse store here is called BJs. When you walk by the computer monitors, all the screensavers are set to 3D text that just says "I LOVE BJS!" rocking back and forth. On, like, twenty hi-def flatscreen monitors. And bam, I'm back in middle school, giggling like a little goon.

Fuzzy the Bunny

03:30 / 08.09.04

There are 2 potentially embarassing names that have stuck with me:

1) A brand of baked beans named "B&M"

2) A group that hosted a kid's show from my youth: Kaptain Kool and the Kongs, KKK? didn't anybody catch that?

Loomis

07:04 / 08.09.04

Speaking of kid's shows, when I was growing up there was one called Come On Kids. I can't imagine a name like that being used these days.

■

07:20 / 08.09.04

Well, there's always the Italian Scottish chip shop on Slateford Road:
The Codfather

Sax

07:24 / 08.09.04

Loomis: Speaking of kid's shows, when I was growing up there was one called Come On Kids. I can't imagine a name like that being used these days.

You should get on the Fringe next year. Throw in a couple of mother-in-law jokes and you'll be bathing in Perrier.

Michelle Gale

07:37 / 08.09.04

Bit juvanile i know, but there's a american style cafe in Hull called "willy-bells" .

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