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The Psychiatrist Is IN

 
  

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Ganesh
22:54 / 02.09.04
By popular demand, an advice thread with a modicum of semi-professional underpinning. Bear in mind that I do not post on Barbelith as 'Dr WhateverMyRealNameIs' but 'Ganesh', so I am not operating in a clinical capacity - hence my advice may be more... robust than it would be if you were a complete stranger walking into my consulting rooms. I will, however, do my utmost to appear Austrian, bearded and interested in your childhood, if it's what you want (and I'm in the mood). We even have a virtual couch. With virtual stains.

So.

How can I help you?
 
 
w1rebaby
23:27 / 02.09.04
Doctor, it hurts when I do this.

No, actually, here's a real one. What do you do when you go to see someone who's meant to be prescribing you stuff, and he's way madder than you are? Say, to pick a random example nothing to do with myself of course, your doctor takes appointments at 9.45pm on a Sunday, has his office walls entirely covered with cheap framed paintings, and talks so fast it is physically impossible to understand him?

Does one offer him downers and advise him to stop bingeing on speed all weekend? Can one charge for this? Or is it all a cunning therapeutic ruse to make you feel relatively sane and grounded?
 
 
Ganesh
23:34 / 02.09.04
I'm assuming one is in the States, so one is paying for this.

It depends on what he's actually saying. Psychiatry draws those with a need, so statistically, you're gonna get more than your share of dingbats (which is DSM for 'eccentrics'). The fact that he appears utterly unconventional in both appearance and working hours (frrrreak!) doesn't necessarily reflect ramshackle advice. What's the circumstance, and what's he actually telling you to do?
 
 
w1rebaby
23:53 / 02.09.04
Actually, all I really wanted him to do is prescribe me drugs. I got exactly what I was after down to the last mg, so I'm not that concerned.

It's more a question of the fact that not only did he ask me questions in machinegun fashion, but he also then repeated the answers into a dictaphone at even faster speed, making a few mistakes and repeating himself on three or four points, and giving me a diagnosis that I'm positive I would not merit, even based on the loosest interpration of the DSM IV.

I suppose the main concern is, I don't want to end up with whatever the American version of sectioned is if I at some point say "no, I think this is an unsuitable treatment and I'm not going to do it"... although the free market system being what it is, I suppose I could always go see someone else, shop around.
 
 
Olulabelle
23:54 / 02.09.04
YAY.

Yay, yay, yay.

(Does little happy dance.)

Dear Dr Ganesh, please help.

My question is this:

What does one do when one falls accidentally, utterly and delightfully head-over-heels in love with another whilst one is ostensibly trying to be an independent, free-thinking, free-living woman (thereby makes all thoughts of love, want and need extraneous to the current 'life plan')?

And what, pray, does one do when the object of one's head-over-heels in-love-ness lives over two hours away from one and there is no obvious resolution to the situation due to various family commitments, lack of money, and many other reasons which do not need to be documented yet are easily imagined?

Are we truly both expected to just continue the 'delight on arrival/utter distress on leaving' cycle for all of eternity?

Yours, most hopefully...
 
 
Ganesh
00:03 / 03.09.04
Actually, all I really wanted him to do is prescribe me drugs. I got exactly what I was after down to the last mg, so I'm not that concerned.

Well, I expect you'd researched drug and dosage to a greater degree than your shrink (excuse my anti-Yankage) so it was probably a good result, all things considered.

It's more a question of the fact that not only did he ask me questions in machinegun fashion, but he also then repeated the answers into a dictaphone at even faster speed, making a few mistakes and repeating himself on three or four points, and giving me a diagnosis that I'm positive I would not merit, even based on the loosest interpration of the DSM IV.

I guess I feel a bit ill-equipped to comment on the vagaries of US psychiatrists. Suffice to say, we think they're fucking weird (overdiagnosing, overmedicalising, overmedicating) and they think we're fucking weird (underdiagnosing, undermedicalising, undermedicating). Did you get a copy of the letter he was dictating? Did you at least have the option of disagreeing with his diagnosis?


Well... I'm out of my depth already, trying to advise you. I don't know what would constitute reasonable grounds for sectioning someone in the US. I'm assuming that, the free market being what it is, the mere fact of you going to another doctor would not result in your freedoms being curtailed. But hey, I'm a naive Brit...
 
 
Ganesh
00:14 / 03.09.04
What does one do when one falls accidentally, utterly and delightfully head-over-heels in love with another whilst one is ostensibly trying to be an independent, free-thinking, free-living woman (thereby makes all thoughts of love, want and need extraneous to the current 'life plan')?

Ach, this is less a psychiatric question than an existential one - but, luckily, since I'm not operating in a purely professional capacity here, I can happily opine. And opine I will...

And what, pray, does one do when the object of one's head-over-heels in-love-ness lives over two hours away from one and there is no obvious resolution to the situation due to various family commitments, lack of money, and many other reasons which do not need to be documented yet are easily imagined?

Well, this is the crux, isn't it? Vaguely NY-LONy, no? I've been in long-distance relationships myself, but they've always been temporary - there's at least a glimmer of hope on the horizon for one partner's moving-to-X to be nearer their mate. Ultimately, it comes down to motivation: one of my colleagues moved (for his career) from Edinburgh to Durham; his partner was supposed to follow but, enamoured with Edinburgh (and male Edinburghers) she opted to stay - and dump him. My impression is that it works as a 'meantime' thing but not as a permanence (if that's a word).

Are we truly both expected to just continue the 'delight on arrival/utter distress on leaving' cycle for all of eternity?

No, that will not/cannot last indefinitely. One or other of you must contemplate moving within the year, or the relationship is doomed. IMHO.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
03:59 / 03.09.04
Dr Ganesh,

For a long time, I felt as if no one understood me, I felt alone, like someone looking in through a frost-covered window at a happy warm hearth on Christmas evening, while standing outside, nose pressed to the glass, in the cold, in the dark.

But all that changed recently when I met someone special. We went out, we had coffees, we talked about books and films, and I felt as if finally I'd met my soulmate, well we liked the same THINGS, y'know, though I never really got round to making a move, as such, I've always been reserved in social situations.

So I didn't realise how much I loved her until she told me she was moving to Liverpool, and then it hit me, what a fool I'd been, not to have told her how I'd felt, all that time. And now she's gone.

I mean to there, of all places - I gather they go by their feelings or some such, like in Bread, and frankly it scares me, the thought of that town.

So what should I do ?
 
 
Ganesh
04:48 / 03.09.04
So what should I do ?

*gasp*

They go by their feelings?!

ABORT!

ABORT!

Depends how much you value the (potential) relationship, as balanced against your own career prospects: is moving to Liverpool viable, financially? Is a move elsewhere possible, if the two of you decide you hate each other (possible comedically-but-you-wouldn't-know-it, in true Bread stylee)? Check these things out and either relocate (possibly temporarily) to Liverpool, or run screaming for the hills.

The choice is yours.
 
 
at the scarwash
05:12 / 03.09.04
dear doctor elephanthead,

I'm a smart guy. For an American with a state school education, I'm very well read, test well, tasteful etc., etc. In a consulting role on other people's projects, mostly of a theatrical nature, I come up with very effective ideas. But when it comes down to actually making something myself, the fear rolls in and I end up on the couch, staring ath the ceiling at the dark. I know intellectually that this is just crap self esteem and fear of failure, and I should just get down to business and write, but the fear is quite crippling. Any ideas of a useful crutch that that gets one rolling before one has the time to notice the fear?
 
 
Sax
06:03 / 03.09.04
Dear Doctor Ganesh,

My problem - and I'm not taking the piss here - is that I never seem to get down. Mrs Sax thinks this is some kind of psychological failing in me - I am never depressed, pissed off, sulky or anything less than chipper. Even when faced with horrendous nastiness of anything you care to imagine. Is this a real condition?
 
 
Sax
11:36 / 03.09.04
The psychiatrist is in, my arse (note careful use of punctuation there, comma-abusers!).

It's been hours since I put forward my problem. And don't think I haven't seen you gambolling around in other threads.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
11:44 / 03.09.04
Yeah, trunky pachyderm boy, whats with the AWOL SchmAWOL?
 
 
Jub
12:56 / 03.09.04
Maybe he's playing with you Sax - seeing if him ignoring you gets you down - huh?!
 
 
Char Aina
14:28 / 03.09.04
sax-
you gotta get up to get down.
you tried drugs?
 
 
Sekhmet
14:33 / 03.09.04
Dr. 'Nesh, I'm afraid you're going to regret doing this. You'll soon be up to your flappy ears in posts from barmy Barbelithers, waving your little trunk pitifully over the pile.

So, despite my insecurity, paranoia, and desperate need to be approved of by others, I'm going to leave you alone, so you won't hate me and talk about me behind my back like everyone else does.

As long as that's okay with you.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
14:40 / 03.09.04
Dear Dr. "IN"

I am in luv with my shrinkydrink.

What should I do?
 
 
Sax
14:44 / 03.09.04
Doctor Ganesh writes: "I'm afraid I'm unavailable at the moment. You should find yourself a rough Northern journalist."
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
15:10 / 03.09.04
I suspect a touch of ghosting...
 
 
Ganesh
15:12 / 03.09.04
Hang on a mo.

*flips sign to 'OUT'*

It's good to learn gratification-delay...
 
 
Sax
19:35 / 03.09.04
Oh, yeah, I was going to ask you about that as well...
 
 
Lurid Archive
20:17 / 03.09.04
Dear Dr. Ganesh,

I'd like to ask a question on behalf of a friend with a sexual problem. This friend is becoming increasingly worried about his or her extreme sexual tastes. At first, leather/rubber/latex clad whip wielding sirens had an inevitable draw on this poor lad. I think we can all understand that. But lately, his tastes have become increasingly transgressive. Not content any more to restrict his pornographic perusals to the mainstream of heavy bondage, sadism and physical torture he now seems to crave pure evil. Doubtless to say, this is embarrassing, and he fears that if his partner should ever discover pictures of Ann Coulter tucked in between his perfectly acceptable glossy mags of Bitch Queens from Hell, his relationship may well be in trouble. Is there anything you can do to help cure him?
 
 
Ganesh
09:59 / 04.09.04
I'm a smart guy. For an American with a state school education, I'm very well read, test well, tasteful etc., etc. In a consulting role on other people's projects, mostly of a theatrical nature, I come up with very effective ideas. But when it comes down to actually making something myself, the fear rolls in and I end up on the couch, staring ath the ceiling at the dark. I know intellectually that this is just crap self esteem and fear of failure, and I should just get down to business and write, but the fear is quite crippling. Any ideas of a useful crutch that that gets one rolling before one has the time to notice the fear?

Alcohol.

Is the problem one of generating ideas, or developing ideas, or admitting to ownership of ideas? Could you indulge in the word-processing equivalent of a brainstorm: get yourself 'loosened up' in a manner of your choosing, sit down at the keyboard, hammer out as many ideas as you can, then SAVE them? Go back to them the next day. Some of 'em will be crap, naturellement, but do this often enough and there'll be at least some stuff worth developing. (And hey, if you were sufficiently out of your face when you SAVEd your typings, it'll feel like developing someone else's project...).

On the other hand, some peoples' strengths lie in developing/exploring/buffing up other people's raw ideage. I reckon I'm much better at this than generating original ideas of my own. That's okay too.
 
 
Ganesh
10:13 / 04.09.04
My problem - and I'm not taking the piss here - is that I never seem to get down. Mrs Sax thinks this is some kind of psychological failing in me - I am never depressed, pissed off, sulky or anything less than chipper. Even when faced with horrendous nastiness of anything you care to imagine. Is this a real condition?

More of a psychological coping mechanism, really: a relatively benign (and presumably successful) variant of Melanie Klein's 'manic defence' (which is pretty much what you think it is). Rest assured that you are likely crying on the inside - just very far inside.

It'll all come out one day, when your manic defence cracks. Until then, enjoy!
 
 
Ganesh
10:17 / 04.09.04
Dr. 'Nesh, I'm afraid you're going to regret doing this. You'll soon be up to your flappy ears in posts from barmy Barbelithers, waving your little trunk pitifully over the pile.

So, despite my insecurity, paranoia, and desperate need to be approved of by others, I'm going to leave you alone, so you won't hate me and talk about me behind my back like everyone else does.

As long as that's okay with you.


Ahhh, the old 'chase me' routine - the martyr's mainstay. Be off with you, game-player!
 
 
Ganesh
10:18 / 04.09.04
I am in luv with my shrinkydrink.

What should I do?


Try not to stain the couch. That's real moleskin, y'know.
 
 
Ganesh
10:37 / 04.09.04
I'd like to ask a question on behalf of a friend with a sexual problem. This friend is becoming increasingly worried about his or her extreme sexual tastes. At first, leather/rubber/latex clad whip wielding sirens had an inevitable draw on this poor lad. I think we can all understand that.

Indeed. Healthy, strapping stuff.

But lately, his tastes have become increasingly transgressive. Not content any more to restrict his pornographic perusals to the mainstream of heavy bondage, sadism and physical torture he now seems to crave pure evil.

First described in the '80s (Thatcher's Disease), the modern UK equivalent, burchillophilia, is disturbingly prevalent but (perhaps understandably given the high degree of stigmatisation) a rare mode of psychiatric presentation.

Doubtless to say, this is embarrassing, and he fears that if his partner should ever discover pictures of Ann Coulter tucked in between his perfectly acceptable glossy mags of Bitch Queens from Hell, his relationship may well be in trouble. Is there anything you can do to help cure him?

It's important to own one's demons. I'm going to eschew convention here and suggest that your "friend" consider stalking the object of his desire, perhaps using some sort of power-tool and/or flaying device - with the ultimate aim of assimilating/integrating Ms Coulter through the wearing of her skin.

Take care cutting around the areolae; nipples are notoriously difficult to reattach.
 
 
Ganesh
11:14 / 06.09.04
Ah Burchill, Killer of Thread...
 
 
Loomis
12:24 / 06.09.04
Stop saying that awful word!

*shivers*
 
 
Sax
12:30 / 06.09.04
That Melanie Klein sounds HOTT. Have you got any pictures of her?
 
 
Saveloy
12:32 / 06.09.04
Here is my question (or rather, um, questions) for the Good Doctor 'Nesh:

What sort of things might affect a person's ability to empathise or sympathise with others? Is there anything that might account for dramatic changes (ie an ordinarily sympathetic person suddenly not caring about the fate of anyone, from strangers to close friends and loved ones)? Can a person 'become' psychopathic?
 
 
Ganesh
13:21 / 06.09.04
That Melanie Klein sounds HOTT. Have you got any pictures of her?

Yep.



Very into breasts, our Mel K...
 
 
Ganesh
17:18 / 06.09.04
What sort of things might affect a person's ability to empathise or sympathise with others? Is there anything that might account for dramatic changes (ie an ordinarily sympathetic person suddenly not caring about the fate of anyone, from strangers to close friends and loved ones)?

I'm assuming you're talking about "dramatic changes" of a different order from the relatively commonplace effects on one's 'empathic potential' of extreme situational stress (if one is dealing with a catastrophic bereavement, for example, one may be less sympathetic toward those lamenting a bout of 'flu or a dicky tummy). If we're straying into the sphere of actual psychiatric illness, then yes, pretty much anything - depressive/anxious disorders, psychotic episodes, drug/alcohol problems, etc., etc. - could cause one to look inward, to lose concentration or to become fixated on one's inner world to the extent that one has apparently lost interest in the feelings of others.

Can a person 'become' psychopathic?

By definition, true psychopathy - Antisocial Personality Disorder - is characterised by "ongoing disregard for the rights of others, since the age of 15 years". So no, barring the likes of specific head injury, really weird brain tumours, etc., a formerly non-psychopathic adult couldn't simply flip into psychopathy.
 
 
flufeemunk effluvia
22:04 / 06.09.04
Doctor, my ADD medication demolishes my appetite, leaving me grouchy and restless. Should I stick with my accursed amphetamines or should I sell them to the pseudo-goth hot topic kids at my school?
 
 
Ganesh
22:09 / 06.09.04
Doctor, my ADD medication demolishes my appetite, leaving me grouchy and restless. Should I stick with my accursed amphetamines or should I sell them to the pseudo-goth hot topic kids at my school?

You should consult whoever prescribes the damn stuff and, depending on this, that and the other, come off it. If you're gonna sell it, sell it to Weight Watchers.

How old are you, incidentallement?
 
  

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