I am an unmitigated dumbass. My sister-in-law is getting married, and I went with her to shop for dresses and such, and we were freaking out over the veils at the bridal shops. These hideous rags of stiff, crappy fabric, hotglued to a plastic comb with some rhinestones stuck on, and they want $200 for the things? Outrageous. But she wants a veil.
So I say, heroically, "No, dear, you really don't want to pay for this crap. I'll make you a veil."
Please note at this point that I've never made a veil before. I have, in fact, only sewn about three things in my entire life, and they were all costume pieces that didn't actually have to look that good. Disaster looms.
So I find out Monday that she needs it for this weekend, for her bridal portraits that were supposed to be two weeks away, and last night is the only night I have free to work on it. And then it must be shipped off to her via FedEx, because naturally she lives hours away in another city. Panic.
I run to the fabric store and pick up a couple of yards of white chiffon georgette and some pearl beads and some elastic cording and a few of those plastic combs just in case. Then I have to go back again, because I forgot to get thread.
Then I spend an hour trying to remember how to thread and operate my sewing machine, which I inherited from my grandmother and haven't used in about eight years. To my amazement, it still works.
Come to find out that chiffon is REALLY hard to sew, especially with a clunky old machine like mine. It puckers and shreds. I fiddle with tensions and speeds and stitch lengths, to no avail. I realize can't machine sew this. It'll have to be done by hand. So I hand-sew a yard of chiffon onto a bit of elastic cord tied across the back of the tiara, add some beading at the corners, and it looks okay, and then I wonder: did she really say fingertip length? That's kind of long. And with the chiffon it's pretty heavy. She may want it shorter. I can't waste hours hemming it by hand and then cut it off if she wants it shorter. And does she want the corners square or rounded? No idea. And she did only want a veil in the back, right? Not one over her face, surely. That would be another layer. Oh dear. I hope she didn't want one for the front. I don't have her phone number. I've lost her e-mail. Her mother and her brother aren't answering their phones. I can't get hold of anyone who would have a clue.
So today I am shipping off a tiara with a yard of unhemmed chiffon hanging off the back in the hopes that it will do for pictures and that she won't kill me.
What stupid thing have you done recently? |
