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kid: I did something silly and got pregnant and didn't feel that the alternative was right for me at that time. I don't regret my decision - it's got great rewards, my kid is really lovely, in a lot of ways, and I think I've done the best I could with the situation, she's turned out great. I love her, which is why I do it, and she has driven me to make my life a lot better. which leads me to the whole job thing.
job (office job, bookkeeper): I didn't work for the first 2 1/2 years because we felt it was better if she had a parent at home, and though we couldn't REALLY afford it, we made do. when it came time to work, I realized that I had no job skills and retail just wasn't cutting it. I've moved from job to job since, getting myself into an office job as it's the best way for someone with no discernable work skills and very little formal education to make a bit more cash. I've left each job for one with more money, increasing my abilities and trebling my wage - for some strange reason I cannot identify, people trust me with their money and no matter what I'm SUPPOSED to do at any given job, they always hand over the finances, so that bit is accidental.
love: I wasn't looking for anything serious, as I was still kinda fucked from my last relationship, even though I was long over the boy himself. I met someone who was fun and awesome in the sack, and somewhere along the way I saw much more valuable qualities that made me fall in love with him. purely accidental, kinda my MO it seems.
house: I grew up in the neighborhood, so I knew what to expect. it's close to my daughter's school, grandparents, friends. it's inexpensive but safe, quiet, attractive, roomy, altogether PLEASANT. I had offer of help attaining and I took it.
personality: I am an mess of a product of my upbringing and all of the experiences I've had since and I haven't learned as much as I sometimes hope I have.
I became a feminist when I was in elementary school and the teachers picked the boys I beat in arm wrestling to move things instead of me - obviously a mistake stemming from a serious inability to make decisions based on logic. I presumably became an atheist during the same time period, in private christian school, as I was being taught by these same silly folks that my parents, dope smoking pseudo-hippies living in sin, were going to burn forever in hell. along with pretty much every single human being I knew.
there are a million reasons I'm a lot of bad things, but when I try to write it down it seems like I'm blaming someone. let's just say my formative years were screwy, I've had some bad things happen since that make me skittish and weird, and I haven't fully grown up enough to ditch most of it yet, despite the house and kid and job that might make me seem a bit more like an adult. my life wasn't entirely terrible, and it isn't now, and I'm not, either. it's all just kinda middlin. |
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