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Why does nobody EVER offer me drugs?

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02:42 / 15.08.04

This is something I've discussed recently with friends and colleagues, with the unfortunate result that I feel like a total frrreak. Or the opposite of frrreak, whatever that is.

I've joked in the past that, in social situations, I'm never offered drugs. The few occasions I've experimented with recreational doodahs, it's generally been because a) I've been out with someone who is adept at getting hold of mind-altering loveliness, and I've tagged along, or b) I've been somewhere it's been freely available ie. cannabinoids in Amsterdam. On my own, I've rarely, if ever, managed to attract dealers, even in Bangkok, Goa and Coldharbour Lane. No matter my intention, I seem to give off some sort of Julie Andrews 'straighter than straight' vibe: no-one even tries to sell me the naughties. Maybe it's the doctor thing...

And, y'know, I'm curious. I'd at least like the opportunity to try some Joss Ackland's Spunky Backpack before I die.

What am I doing wrong?

03:01 / 15.08.04

I wish I could tell you, chief, but one time I was offered and accepted, the offerer gave me a look and said, "You know, on second thought, I really don't think you'd like it."

Some of us just radiate Huey Lewisness, I guess.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

03:07 / 15.08.04

It's really not a problem I'm ever faced with, I'm afraid, 'nesh... although I'm usually asked for drugs more often.

I can do you some Clarky Cats, if you want...?

03:53 / 15.08.04

Do I need to get Bagpuss hair, then, or what? How do I shed my dealer-repellent Mary Poppins aura?

D Terminator XXXIII

07:30 / 15.08.04

Pull the plug.

Alternately, pull the butt-plug.

Alternately... Um, there is no alternative*.

* = Actually there is: I have found that, being a natural drug repellent also, a five day alcoholic binge will do wonders for your eyes and skin. And behaviour. Which will cause a love-fest with drug-pushers united, the world over. 4real.

wembley can change in 28 days

07:54 / 15.08.04

I have this too! I never get offered ANYTHING and it's starting to get me down, especially since Helsinki isn't exactly the most free-flowing of drug cultures. I don't look square, I swear! I have a mullet, I wear pumas... what's wrong?!? I've even had such negative reactions when I ask someone if they know where I can get something... sigh.

10:06 / 15.08.04

People look for cues. Long hair, piercings and tatoos are pretty good predictors for people being potential customers. The bar is pretty low and I get offered drugs pretty much constantly.

But, really, you shouldn't buy drugs like that.

(Did I ever tell you about the time I "bought" some drugs outside a club in Brixton but refused to pay the man on the grounds that I'd just swallowed a Rennie? MC was not happy.)

Get yourself a dealer. Failing that, if you are abroad, put on your slightly gormless, "I want to buy some drugs but please don't burn me too bad" face and you should attract some attention if you are in the right venues.

12:11 / 15.08.04

I hate to throw some awkward data into this investigation, but I've been offered drugs several times, and I don't think I give off any particular 'cues'. I look like a fairly normal guy, I think, fairly short hair, jeans and t-shirt, no piercings or anything.

I've been offered pills once in a club by a white guy, and been offered cannabis, by various odd names, on the street several times by black and asian guys.

I think, if I'm being brutally honest with myself, I probably don't look particularly streetwise. Hence why the blacks and asians on the street think that they can reel me in. I've not said yes yet though. Maybe you just need to look a little bit more naive and middle-class, Ganesh...

12:19 / 15.08.04

I envy you, 'Nesh. Perhap you just look too damn savvy to buy drugs on the street.
If you really want the experience, I'd recommend Lisbon - the city with the most equal opportunities drug dealers in the world. Even the rattly old puffins get button-holed. I wish you'd been with me when I was there. In fact, I wish you'd been there instead of me.

14:10 / 15.08.04

I have the same problem. From the way some politicians talk you'd think it's impossible to cross the street without being offered class A's but I can never find a friendly dealer when I want one. Or at least a dealer of drugs I'm interested in.

Shrooms should be available soon though. You just need some sturdy boots and a mushroom identification guide to get a hold of them.

ONLY NICE THINGS

16:07 / 15.08.04

Hmmm.... I get offered dope quite a bit when I am wearing my hair long, which forms a great big reefer madness 'fro, it seems. Less so currently.

19:06 / 15.08.04

777:

You look exactly like the kind of hollow-eyed degenerate Joe Drug Dealer would target, and the fact that you're still alive is a source of constant amazement. You scamp.

20:54 / 15.08.04

Can't you just get all the drugs you want for free anyway, Ganesh?

Tryphena Absent

21:09 / 15.08.04

I've only bought (illegal) drugs twice and that's not much in proportion to the times I've taken various things. I had a few years when people kept just giving me free drugs- trying to slip a pill in to my hand or dragging me off to do a line. I think something about me just appeals to people who are high as a kite- not just friends, that wouldn't be so odd but complete and total strangers. No one has ever tried to sell anything to me. Perhaps it's my gender? Any other females had this odd ongoing experience?

21:54 / 15.08.04

No but people always try to buy pills off me. Even before I had ever taken pills people would try to buy pills off me. It's because of my ker-azy disco dancing skillz. I recommend you wait until someone tries to buy pills off you and then go "nah, man, I don't. But if you find any let me know." They always come back.....

Regrettable Juvenilia

01:50 / 16.08.04

the blacks and asians on the street think that they can reel me in

Those crazy blacks and asians!

unheimlich manoeuvre

02:19 / 16.08.04

Nobody's girl: you can buy *unprepared* shrooms all year round in headshops in London.

...

On the whole, being offered droogs on the street is sub-optimal. Invariably i've gotten fleeced. Worst case scenario, buy off the in-house club dealers. Best case, get from your friends as they're less likely to sting.

Looking like a probable user doesn't have many benefits.

Hattie's Kitchen

13:03 / 16.08.04

When in some of the more notorious gay clubs up north, I tend to be the person that always gets approached by the middle-aged pot-bellied Cyberdog-wearing undercover policeman who gives himself away immediately by sidling up to me and asking where he can get "sorted for Es" and repeatedly saying "Choon" while doing the straight-man-dancing-badly routine. Probably because usually my pupils are dilated to the size of saucers, but still, I find it weird that I appear to be marked as the gay equivalent of Huggy Bear in these venues, because I wouldn't have a clue where to get hold of the happy pills.

13:50 / 16.08.04

That's like saying "Why does nobody ask me out on dates?" You want a date? Go out there, make it happen for your self, and ask someone.

Other than that, in clubs and parties hang around the bathroom. That's where most deals take place because there is decent light and less noise. If you are with your friends when they score, asked to be introduced, and then make sure to call up homeboy in a day or two, even if you don't intend to buy. That way you don't have to get your friend involved next time you're looking. The goal is to keep the person chain between you and the source as short as possible, as each person typically takes their own profit as the goods change hands down the line. Also, go to Dead and Phish and similar concerts and ask around for "Shakedown Street." Just about everything and anything can be found there. Your local bartender also probably has pretty good information along these lines; just about every resturaunt that employs alot of young people has someone that keeps them supplied with coke and speed. You will, of course, have to be a trusted regular or a hot girl before they offer anything up. You could check your police blotter for ideas, though this is risky. If there are alot of arrests for minor possesion and intent to sells around a specific neighborhood, its a good bet you can score there. Its also a good bet you'll get arrested there. If you do venture into the "bad part" of town looking to score, drive slow, try to make eye contact and give a little upward-nod-and-eyebrow-raise "hey!" If they come over, you're good to go. Expect to be ripped off. No matter who you deal with, don't be too eager, and don't make a big production out of things. Don't look around and don't act suspiciously, imagine you are asking them for a cigarette, thats a good level of "asking a favor but casual and not too terribly worried about the answer going either way."

Anyway, you'll figure out your own tips as you gain expereince, but the best advice I can give is be proactive and be careful. And don't ask strangers online, ask around with friends and acquaintances. They are much more likely to be able to help.

15:26 / 16.08.04

That's like saying "Why does nobody ask me out on dates?" You want a date? Go out there, make it happen for your self, and ask someone.

Except that I don't particularly "want" to, to that extent (which may well be the 'problem'). While curious, I'm hardly monstrously driven to do Class As (or, for that matter, go on a "date"); I'm idly speculating on why some of us evidently appear more like the notional Drug Dealer's target demographic than others.

But thanks anyway for the motivational schtick.

18:05 / 16.08.04

this is an odd phenomenon, ganesh. having done a little dealing in my past life, i can't say as i can exactly put my finger on any specific cues for knowing who to approach. age is probably one, as i doubt i'd have approached anyone who looked to be over 30. i suppose there are some general visual cues that apply, but they're far from definite. other than someone wearing a t-shirt with a big pot leaf on it, i couldn't say for sure.

long hair was suggested, but there were long hairs i never approached. usually large muscle mass would be a sign to me of someone not into getting high, but i also know people who love to puff down and work up a good sweat. one or two tats and/or piercings may be a sign, but i found that people with a lot of that stuff were into the endorphin rush and thought i was a loser for offering them drugs. i think the note above about the effects of a 4 day bender may be onto something.

it's just an aura or vibe i guess. i haven't touched a thing in four years, i've since cut my hair short, and these days i prefer the polo shirts and khakis to jeans and t-shirts i used to sport, but i apparently still give off whatever "drug" vibe that is because i still get approached all the time to score.

it should also be noted that i constantly get asked for directions too- don't know if there's a connection there or not. i do still have a beard, maybe it's the beard on both counts...

10:59 / 21.08.04

Those crazy blacks and asians!

Oh flyboy, your consistency in this world of change is a great comfort to me...

13:39 / 21.08.04

I think something about me just appeals to people who are high as a kite

Utter nonsense...

15:34 / 21.08.04

maybe it's the beard on both counts...

Reckon so... I kinda miss my beardy days, but do recall that every single time I went a club or gig; I would be approached to sell time and again (once even by the security - which is a pretty fucking poor method of singling out dealers), and was searched at every airport I went through for the three I so years I sported the goatee.

Went on a flight a few weeks after shaving and instinctivly walked over to security when walking through the detector shocked that I wasn't being pulled over.

Grow a beard; it'll change everything.

21:17 / 21.08.04

I've had a beard for most of my adult life. I'm stroking it now. It is crying.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

07:49 / 22.08.04

I sometimes have a beard. But I always get offered drugs.

09:44 / 22.08.04

When I was a lot skinnier I got asked a lot, but since the pork has girthed, less so. Plus when I'm speccy, I don't get asked, but when the lenses are in, I do. I hate when people on coke offer you some and you decline and they become paranoid because you don't want any...

If you want to get offered, try sweating heavily and gurning.

14:09 / 22.08.04

I'm pretty sure it has to do with a kind of willingness to make eye-contact -- the same reason that makes some people always hit up by panhandlers or chatted up by schizotypal personalities on the street.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:30 / 22.08.04

I'm not sure... as someone pointed out to me the other day (and, on reflection, I have to say they kind of have a point) I HARDLY EVER make eye contact. Even with friends. Maybe it makes me look shifty, hence a good customer/supplier.

16:43 / 22.08.04

I can certainly see that eccentric and awkward behaviour might be a cue. But maybe I'm thinking of goths? Still, its a good guess and worth pursuing.

Perhaps Nesh's pristine mental health is the real problem here?

No star here laces

08:20 / 23.08.04

Ganesh you are a respectable member of the establishment. You are a comfortably off middle-class professional of a certain age with a job entailing deep responsibilities.

Drug dealers can sense this. It's like Gaydar. Quit the NHS and start getting into fights and I reckon you'll be swimming in crack.

On another note I got offered opium by an 80-year-old tribeswoman in traditional h'mong dress last week so that makes me the anti-ganesh, I think.

08:34 / 23.08.04

" Mate... D'you want some Jack'n'Jills ? "

pointless and uncalled for

08:44 / 23.08.04

Dealers are most drawn to a soft touch and in an industry where brand loyalty is determined by the location of a cheap easy score there's no need to broaden the customer base. As any dealer can tell you, the customer base will expand itself way beyond your capacity to supply.

However, dealers are by their very nature optimists and having that appearance of being strung out and with cash is like leaving a packet of fags on a table in a club. My best advice if you want to be proffered illegal substances is to observe and adopt the common mannerisms of those on, or just coming off the drug you want to score.

09:04 / 23.08.04

Your in the Kennington area now right? It wont be long until your asked - by the weirdest mix of dealers in London including an ex-Olympic boxing champion...(allegedly)

09:06 / 23.08.04

Ganesh you are a respectable member of the establishment. You are a comfortably off middle-class professional of a certain age with a job entailing deep responsibilities.

That sounds intuitively right, and I'd likely go with it as an explanation - if I weren't aware of several senior colleagues (ie. more comfortably-off middle-class blah blah) regularly getting off their faces of a weekend...

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