Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

Friday 13th

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:02 / 13.08.04

It's Friday 13th, kids!

And all I want to know is... is it an even-numbered one or an odd one?

(The odd ones tending to follow a pattern laid down by Part 3, or Friday 13th Part 3D as it was originally known, in that a bunch of teenagers go into the woods and a shit film is made. Whereas the odd-numbered ones take the alternate premise that a bunch of teenagers go into the woods and a far better, though not Palme d'Or material, film is made. Example, Part IV- a classic of the series. The rule-proving exception, of course, being Jason X, which is only any good in the last fifteen minutes when they decide to abandon their uneasy mix of failed jokes and unfrightening scares, and just go all-out for comedy. Virtual replicas of Crystal Lake girls (to Jason): "Hi! Do you wanna smoke some pot? Or how about some pre-marital sex? We love pre-marital sex.")

Which episodes of everyone's favourite Puritan slasher movie franchise will today most resemble?

11:26 / 13.08.04

well i think FVJ took the (both) franchise(s) into interesting directions, and was both even (the eighth freddy iirc*) and odd (the eleventh jason)

not sure of the theory really poppa stoat, as i seem to remember jason six being very, very, very bad, though eight was indeed better than nine.

*less you count jason nine which could also be thought of as freddy seven with the hand coming out the ground, making fvj in fact doubly odd

corey feldman thou art avenged

11:31 / 13.08.04

What was the one with the kid (Corey?) when he shaved his head.... It's years since I saw them and they've all sort of blended together in my head...

That bit with the boxing kid made me laugh when I was a kid, wasn't that Jason takes Manhattan?

11:33 / 13.08.04

jason two is dead better than one though that's a fact: i always thought the cloth sack over the head was way scarier than the hockey mask, and his little house in the woods...bbrrr

even the sound of young bacon choking on his own blood doesn't quite make up for the fact that the killer in one could have been put right down with just a hefty slap.

i didn't even notice that it was the thirteenth today, though spookily i was reading about the persecution of the templars as the clock turned midnight last night.

i'm going for it being a good 'un

ki-ki-ki ha-ha-ha

11:38 / 13.08.04

yeah the tough as arse boxing kid who kept punching the hockey-mask wearing killer...in the face

there's also a bit in that one where the plucky but fucking dead kids gather together anything that could be used as a weapon and put them in a pile on the floor so everyone can pick the tool they wicsh to defend themselves with. so they grab the hammers, baseball bats, golf-clubs and stuff but

no-one goes for the pump action shotgun, 'cept for boxing kid who does so only after everyone else has picked, and never uses it because really he wants to prove himself by going toe to toe with mama vorhees' favourite boy. man if ever someone deserved to have their head punched clean off it was that kid.

guess what i'll be getting from the video shop tonight then?

pointless and uncalled for

11:41 / 13.08.04

Do any of them include getting hit by a white van on the way to work. If so, that's the type it's going to be.

11:45 / 13.08.04

You got hit by a van and your at work? You are totally Jason...

Boxing kid (Julius rocks):

[after finding the dead bodies of some of the crew]
Julius: I say we regroup, and find this motherfucker before he does this to anyone else. Now who's with me?
McCulloch: Watch your mouth, young man! And you'll do no such thing. I'M in charge here!
Julius: School... IS OUT, McCulloch! Okay?

**

Julius: I was able to find some shit from the halls and game room. Go ahead, take what you want.
[Everyone takes something but Julius]
Wayne: Well what are you gonna take, Julius?
Julius: Nothing.
[Everyone glares]
Julius: ...But this gun.

pointless and uncalled for

11:52 / 13.08.04

It was a nudge more than a hit. Still a hanging offence though.

12:03 / 13.08.04

friday the 13th is working its evil on my life.

tonight is the dancehall night i have been unsuccesfully trying to go to for a while, and my dad is up to visit.
i cannae leave him alone and he hates reggae.

lady luck,
she suck.

13:29 / 13.08.04

Well somebody shat on the floor of my office this morning, which I suppose is fairly unusual Friday 13th type phenomena. This morning, apparently between the hours of 7am and 8:30am, just outside the door of the open plan office space on the second floor, someone left a lovely present for staff of ******** *****. Disgruntled employee? Scat obsessed journalist? Jason Vorhees?

13:39 / 13.08.04

"I'd like to take a crap right on your mask. A big old mango sized crap.
Yes, that's a probe."

13:53 / 13.08.04

Friday the 13th is usually lucky for my family. Which doesn't explain how today was almost the worst day of my life, stranded thin as a rake, bruised and hopped up on steroids in a hospital room suffering from a debilitating and really embarrassing colonic disease. While trying to keep my girlfriend from having a nervous breakdown.
No, this isn't a joke.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:46 / 13.08.04

Ah, Gambit, 6 was indeed not much cop, but, sandwiched as it was twixt 5 and 7, emerged as by far the best Friday of all three movies. In a bad period from the franchise, it was the least bad movie.

Yeah, FvJ was actually pretty good, as well as being mathematically confusing. (I was never that into Freddy, y'see... he'll always be "the one off V with the endearing habit of getting words wrong" to me, which kind of fucks any pretensions he may have had for being the evil overlord of my nightmares).

16:51 / 13.08.04

I'm going to see Sonic Youth tonight. Which Friday the 13th film is the Sonic Youthiest one?

Brigade du jour

16:53 / 13.08.04

Can I be Kevin Bacon? But not die?

19:49 / 13.08.04

Maybe at the big party/parade here tonight, Jason will come and kill Lance Armstrong and Robert Earl Keene and the Steve Miller Band. With a chainsaw. Friday the 13th: Texas Chainsaw LanceFest Bloodbath (and Free Concert)!

Er... Sorry... I work on Congress Avenue in Austin and the town is completely crazed. Been watching and listening to the preparations for Lance's homecoming for TWO DAYS now. Poopers insane. I have to say, though, that the sound system is pretty good, and it appears that Steve Miller Band does their own sound check... that, or their roadies sound EXACTLY like them.

Maybe Lance will wear a hockey mask.

05:31 / 14.08.04

I liked the one where they dig up jason at the begining and then pierce his heart with an iron rod which is then struck by lightening. Can't remember if it's 4,5,6 or seven as these all blend into one (i think a few of them follow on directly from each other?).

My friday was pretty good actually.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:33 / 14.08.04

That's 6. In 4 he's killed by Tommy Jarvis with an axe through the head; in 5 (odd number, y'see) they couldn't think up a decent deus ex machina so they had a copycat killer. In 6, Tommy goes to desecrate his grave, stabs him through the heart with a fencepost, cue lightning, whoah! Jason's alive again only this time he's a zombie and makes with the killing action once more.

I hasten to add- I never actually saw 9 (Jason Goes to Hell), so that could also fuck up my theory.

07:54 / 16.08.04

s very very bad (oddsies), though the premise and attempt at a plot coulf have made it stand out. it does start with an immensely satisfying scene where a girl who has lost and found again her top within the films first few moments (a jason record for boobnude getting a look early) is being chased through the camp by jason. she falls down as they have a habit of doing while jason plods relentlessly on. he grabs her hair, raises the machete and bang! she shoots him in the face. next second the trees and bushes are alive with swats who spend the next minute or two emptying a small arsenal into poor sweet jason, before blowing him to pieces with a rocket from a helicopter. s pretty cool, and reassuring to know that the police haven't been completely oblivious to the previous seven massacres. i always like to think of the poor cop who has to go around the murder scene the next day, trying to piece together what the piss might have happened to these damn loose kids.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:54 / 16.08.04

Sadly enough, I find myself most critical of Jason X not for its complete lack of scariness, its failure as a horror movie or even its failure as a space opera... it pissed me off because it betrays the very heart of the franchise RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING. The teenagers wanna go and have sex... the rather staid pathologist is disapproving, preferring to cut up the body of the defrosted Jason. Of course, she gets killed first.

WRONG WRONG WRONG

Jason's hangup is with kids who fuck. And have fun and stuff. Not with people who belay these pleasures so as to do their job. Fair enough, she had just cut part of his face off, I mean, I'd be pissed about that... but it was such a blatant twatting of the whole character. Wrong, I tell you. Wrong.

Next up- Stoatie talks some shit about how Caravan Of Courage emasculated the Ewoks as a species.