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An Idea For Blunkett Prankage

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Our Lady Has Left the Building

10:25 / 13.08.04

Do they still do hustings for candidates in a general election like in the good old days of rotten boroughs and Blackadder III episodes?

Where is Blunkett MP again?

I was just wondering if civil liberty campaigners might consider planning something if Shiteyes was required to discuss his candidancy with the general public before the next general election, or whether this fine British tradition has been done away with.

Multiple Man

10:31 / 13.08.04

Blunkett is an MP in one of the areas around Sheffield/Rotherham, I live in Sheffield

Always willing to help with a bit of Blunkett Prankage..

pointless and uncalled for

11:14 / 13.08.04

I wait for the day he comes walking through my building when I get to re-enact that famous Nightcrawler-President scene from X-Men 2 (an otherwise shit film).

Char Aina

12:05 / 13.08.04

i dunno, is it too much to ask that people stop mentioning his blindness every time they discuss him?
yeah, i know.
i'm hardly the one to ask.
but still.

if he were black and you called him 'ole blackskin' or joked about him catching sickle cell anemia, you know it wouldnt fly.

i'll understand if you dont want to honour my request, but i cannot leave this any longer.

sorry.

pointless and uncalled for

12:24 / 13.08.04

Shiteyes isn't a reference to his eyesight. It's a general insult, such as in Transmet #1 where Spider is seen walking over cars and responds to abuse with the phrase "I'm coming for you shiteyes" (iirc). No implication regarding the victim's sight is made.

I would also be inclind to object but Lady Flamingoes has expressed an unawareness of Blunkett's blindness when initially refering to him as Shiteyes.

Char Aina

12:32 / 13.08.04

hokey doke.
still sucks, mind.
perhaps this is an innocent comment, but it hardly seems that way the rest of the time.
but.
he is actually blind, and it would seem approproiate to get a new insult.

in my humble and often hypocritical opinion.

pointless and uncalled for

12:38 / 13.08.04

In that case I propose to refer to him as Vile Gobshite Jizz Monkey the High Fucking Cunt Bastard

Our Lady Has Left the Building

13:34 / 13.08.04

Oh, so it's okay to refer to him using terms that demean women and people who are uncertain of their parentage then? (joking)

Our Lady Has Left the Building

13:36 / 13.08.04

Toksik, I would be mortified to use such a term in relation to any other blind or partially-sited person in the world, but I must use the Godwin's exclusion clause that this is David Fucking Blunkett we are talking about, one of the most genuinely evil-minded, homophobic, racist bigots in the country and therefore I think an exception can be made. Git.

Axolotl

13:44 / 13.08.04

This is barbelith. If we can't organise 100 people to shout "Shiteyes, la la la" at David Blunkett, we're just not trying hard enough.
Not that I am condoning using insulting terms for blind people in general but in David Blunkett's case I too am willing to make an exception.

_Boboss

13:50 / 13.08.04

he's not like a normal blind guy you know - the reason he can't see actually *is* that his eyes are clogged up with shite.

Tryphena Absent

14:16 / 13.08.04

i dunno, is it too much to ask that people stop mentioning his blindness every time they discuss him?

Do you not find it ironic that he can see so little and he can see so little?

I'd be a little more sensitive but I think about it every time he comes on to my TV screen. I wish people would leave his dog alone though. It's done nothing to deserve the treatment it gets here.

If Blunkett wasn't elected he'd only piss about in some other area of government. We know Tony's good at giving people jobs if he likes them.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

14:19 / 13.08.04

If Blunkett wasn't elected he'd only piss about in some other area of government. We know Tony's good at giving people jobs if he likes them.

Hopefully as a traffic warden.

Sax

14:23 / 13.08.04

You do, of course, all know that he may be blind but his other senses are bizarrely heightened, so he can sniff out a single asylum seeker hiding under a truck's axle, hear the sound of civil liberties crashing to the floor a hundred miles away, literally taste power and feel the faintest ink indentations on the oldest copy of Mein Kampf?

Char Aina

15:50 / 13.08.04

so i now have permission to call peter mandelson a queer or faggot, due to my dislike for him?
and i can call colin powell an uncle tom nigger fuck? hey, maybe i can call anyone involved with palestinian terrorism ragheads?

get a grip, dudes.

seriously.
look who's telling you this...
i'm fucking terrible at being inoofensive, and you are making my baby jesus cry.

partially-sited

semi-homeless?

Brigade du jour

16:52 / 13.08.04

I suggest we all just call him 'cunt'. Its simplicity and succinctness combines just the right measures of hatred and dismissal of Blunkett's status as a true human being.

I know 'cunt' could be construed as demeaning to women, but I would argue that 'cunt' now has tow very discrete meanings. One is slang for vagina, the other slang for obnoxious and dislikeable person.

Oh bollocks, let's just slap him with a wet fish. A dead one, that has had all its religious rites duly performed, of course.

ONLY NICE THINGS

18:09 / 13.08.04

Young man, there's a place you can go.

Certainly, there are plenty of things to take the piss outof Blunkett for which are entirely his fault - mocking his blindness, which as far as I know is not, seems a but pointless; it would be like basing one's entire critique of Michael Howard on his bald spot. Howver, I don't think Flamingoes was trying to do so - he just chose an unfortunate term of abuse. You are quite right, toksie - the good guys don't get to use the same it's-OK-because-I-don't-like-him arguments that the bad guys do. However, the good guys also tend to have to think more carefully before throwing around offensive terminology for any reason, even to prove a noble point...

On the whole, everyone might profitably think about what they don't like about Blunkett and the best way of dealing with these things.

Alex's Grandma

18:51 / 13.08.04

There's been a fairly obvious gag hovering over Blunkett's career since the day he took office as Home Secretary, to do with the nature of justice, but as far as I know no one's ever stooped to that level. And I'm not going to either, but wouldn't it be good if Blunkett had anything like a shred of the same sensitivity when, for example, he talks about what he'd like to do with Afghan refugees.

If anyone's up for ruining the silly bastard's day, and I say this as someone who doesn't leave the house much, count me in.

w1rebaby

18:56 / 13.08.04

I remember when the same things were being said about Jack Straw. Doubtless the same things will be said about whichever unfortunate takes over the position of Home Secretary after Blunkett. I couldn't tell you exactly how these policies are arrived at but who the Home Secretary is at the time doesn't seem to have much to do with it.

I don't have any particular problem with calling Blunkett a cunt but it doesn't get you very far.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:54 / 13.08.04

Not heeeeeauuuuugely impressed with the whole "ha ha ha, you're BLIND!" thing myself. Not when there's a nice juicy wet pile of "You're an extraordinarily evil petty revolting FILTHBEAST!" to splosh my wellies in.

If he'd gone blind through some Greek-tragedyish evil-related twist of fate type way, like if he had just turned a local primary school into an all-child-labour lye works, and when he was cutting the ribbon some a lye vat exploded because it was made of shoddy materials bought from a company in which he had shares, and lye went in his face and then he was all "Oh no I'm all blind and stuff, arrrgh," THEN it might be funny.

Tryphena Absent

20:42 / 13.08.04

Uh-uh, if I don't get to point out the irony involving sightlessness than a man certainly doesn't get to use the word cunt.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

20:56 / 13.08.04

Soz, ADL, I wasn't talking about your post there. Irony is one thing. The routine "Haha, you're BLIND!"-type reaction to the cue "David Blunkett" is another.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

08:09 / 14.08.04

Christ almighty, right, David X Blunkett, where X equals an epithet that you don't find offensive (and, though I hate using this argument because I think it's stupid, blah blah, various partially sited and blind friends and family, blah blah).

Anyone know the answer to the original question?

Alex's Grandma

13:11 / 14.08.04

The original question

It's somewhere up north, I think.

As far as I know they still have hustings, but after the Two Jags egg incident, I'd imagine the security'll be fairly tight. And by the time the election comes round, I dare say the police'll have not only the right, but the duty, to beat you to a bloody pulp and then lock you away indefinitely for even looking at one of our great leaders funny, never mind calling them shite-eyes, or a cunt.

That said though, there's still a while to go until the arse candle ( and I feel that's a term we can all agree on, ) gets his new legislation passed, so...

ONLY NICE THINGS

13:55 / 14.08.04

Sheffield Brightside. Since it would require a 33% swing or thereabouts to lose, Blunkett would normally be helping other labour candidates to hust while his local party handled the campaigning, but he may be too unpopular with Labour voters to get that gig, so may be kept there. Attempts to mess with the Home Secretary are likely to be looked at very dimly. He may be blind, his security people are not.

Char Aina

21:57 / 14.08.04

Uh-uh, if I don't get to point out the irony involving sightlessness than a man certainly doesn't get to use the word cunt.

say it if you like, just dont expect me to be impressed.
i suspect you feel the same way about 'cunt'.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

14:46 / 16.08.04

And you said that I was mocking his affliction?

'I told him I was tall and blonde' says the married woman Blunkett is having an affair with, according to The Sun and NotW. Of course, if we all had ID cards Blunko would be able to check whether she was blonde or tall or indeed MARRIED.

Tryphena Absent

15:26 / 16.08.04

Oh go away Toksik. Just go away, I haven't insulted a blind man. Perhaps you'd like to read rather than assume. I suppose saying that I dislike the actions of Israel makes me an anti-semite as well? How about if I say I don't like vegetables- I hate vegetarians do I?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:15 / 16.08.04

Oh come on. That's just silly. Surely if you didn't like vegetables you'd positively LOVE those who actually EAT THEM. TO DEATH. IN THE FACE.

Char Aina

17:02 / 16.08.04

what?
i didn't say you had, or that you would.
i was pointing out that you could make any point you liked, whether it impressed me or not, and that to make that particular point would leave me unimpressed.
say whatever you like, wherever you like.

Char Aina

17:10 / 16.08.04

Perhaps you'd like to read rather than assume.

well, quite.

Linus Dunce

17:33 / 16.08.04

Quite delicious though, isn't it, that the man who has been so instrumental in the promotion of ID databases is now saying that his private life is his own business ...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:51 / 16.08.04

I think that as a gesture of his willingness to back up his moral rectitude he should be forced to speak Urdu at all times in the home.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:54 / 16.08.04

Umm, and a cursory re-reading of the thread does give me the impression that toksik DIDN'T actually accuse you of insulting a blind man, Anna. Sorry and all, but I don't think he did.

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:47 / 16.08.04

I don't think there's anything wrong with insulting a blind man. That Ray Charles - wanker! See? I think the problem is *basing a critique of David Blunkett around his blindness*.

Incidentally, in what sense is this an "affair"? He's been separated for, like, 14 years. Surely that means he is having not an affair but a bunk-up?

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