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Barbemployment Agency

12:38 / 01.08.04

I need a job. Maybe you need a job too?

The problem is that I can't find any jobs that won't crush my spirit. Besides marketing, call centres and admin assistant work all the employment agencies I've visited have no other vacancies.

I want to work on an oil rig!
I want to be a tree surgeon!
I want live as a raggedy hermit for the amusement of gawping tourists!

If you come across any great job vacancies here's the place to post them.

Imagine a thread with dozens of jobs from across the world - this is my dream.

Any advice from the gainfully employed is most welcome. However please don't suggest I take up a career as an ass candle quality control operative.

16:16 / 01.08.04

heh.
nice dream, and one that my underemployed ass can relate to.
if you do find a job on an oil rig, can we find me one in the mountains? prefferably near the ocean, but i understand if thats difficult.

for a more interesting career path, why dont you install a pole in your bedroom and learn to dance round it?

or perhaps you could become a drug trials tourist?

17:01 / 01.08.04

I'd never considered pole dancing. I guess I could corner a niche market. That can be plan B.

I've seen too many bad horror films to get involved in drug trials.

Oil rig job is the way to go. Check this out:

"Salaries start at USD$ 300 per day for Roustabouts.
Roughnecks (drill deck workers) can earn up to $355 per day. This would translate to an annual salary of $USD 47,500.

Tool Pusher and Drill Leader positions (Chief and Supervisor's positions respectively), allow you to earn between $75,000 - $100,000 per annum."

You get the coolest tob titles evah - Roughneck! Roustabout! Tool Pusher! - and you get 21 days holiday for every 14 days you work.

And you'd probably be on an offshore rig. Kinda like a pirate.

16:10 / 02.08.04

Someone, for the love of god find me a decent job in Birmingham. I know it's a tall order but there has to be some.....

*

00:04 / 12.10.05

I'd like to resurrect this thread as an employment networking thread. I do this for purely selfish reasons, since I relocated to the Bay Area on the promise of a job which has not materialized, and have so far not found anything to replace it. This post also functions as a way for me to get my thoughts together and strategize, and get feedback if anyone cares to give me any.

Here's what I'd like, ideally speaking:

A job with a museum, library, or other non-profit so I can continue gaining experience in that area while I work on my museum studies MA.
About $1200 a month, which will comfortably cover my expenses, but isn't outrageous for this area.
A reasonably relaxed work environment which won't be so stressful that I'll have trouble keeping up with my studies.
A time commitment of between 30-35 hours a week.
Easy access by public transportation.
Some kind of group health benefit.

Here's what I need, minimally:

A job I can do. Most of my skills are in admin-assisting, moderate computing, writing/editing (which I don't have demonstrated experience in), research, and customer service.
A job I can reach by public transportation, even if it's difficult.
Something with a sufficiently flexible schedule that I can attend my classes two afternoons during the week.
About $1000 a month, which will let me barely scrape by.
A job I won't get too much hassle for being variantly-gendered.

What I refuse to do:

Door-to-door canvassing. Been there, done that— I'm lousy at it, and prostitutes are better treated.
Telemarketing. My voice is changing— I can make it sound pleasant on the phone for short periods, but if my entire job is on the phone, it'll tear the fuck out of my throat. Besides, I hate outbound calling.
Anything directly dealing with toxic chemicals, hazardous waste, or biocontaminants. My health isn't great as it is.

Achievable dream jobs that I could actually do:

Writing or editing a fun independent magazine, where skill and enthusiasm mattered more than demonstrated experience.
Reception/admin work at a GLBT-focused non-profit.
A position as an archivist, almost anywhere really.
Academic research in anthropology, ancient history, art history, antiquities, or some other facet of the humanities fields.

You get the idea. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe the 'lith can help?

XXII:X:II = XXX

07:05 / 12.10.05

I have the dubious distinction of having had at least one unbelievably unique job that sadly didn't last longer, and my career goals involve either being self-employed or the head honcho of a small but visible enterprise of my invention. So inevitably anything between now and that point is going to suffer in comparison.

That all said, I'm very recently unemployed and would love to be involved in something idiosynchratically creative that resulted in an end product to which I could point. I've already interviewed for a decent gig with a name publication, and grapevine implies that I may land it, but it's not the sort of thing I'd want to do for too long. I've had so many different jobs through which I've gained a collection of incomplete talents in a wide variety of fields, but none especially expertly. I don't know if there's anything out there that would reward me just for being the insane monkey I am usually. I gotta create those opportunities.

10:43 / 12.10.05

I have a job offer...! (Central London)

The organisation for which I work is usually looking for a temp, and I think that they will soon accept that fact that they sort of need a permanent person. I'm not sure exactly what the situation is at this very moment, as our most recent temp has just moved to a full time position with us, but if anyone's interested I can find out.

I work for a small but rich arts charity, and the job would be lots of phone answering (to the folk we help, to our supporters, and to people selling us toner and telephony products), post franking, and helping out in whichever departments are in need. Not the most thrilling stuff, but I don't think they pay too badly. Probably part time to start, but with the option of full time and permanency looming.

It's quite a nice place to work, too. Fairly relaxed and full of the charming eccentricities of arts organisations everywhere... Let me know if you be interested.

11:16 / 12.10.05

Might want to read This advice for applying for jobs off Craig's List, especially if you're in San Francisco, Craig's List's home. I'm writing up my CV at the moment and it changed my approach for the better I think.

Also Craig's List is apparently the biggest job's site in San Francisco.

12:54 / 12.10.05

Where I have worked since the rather distressing news about my pension plan (bio-tech shares, honestly, I mean, I ask you,) you can, on a good night, earn anything up to £100 an hour. But I wouldn't necessarily (and in any case probably can't, for legal reasons,) recommend it.

At my age, surely, I should be the one getting the assisted showers, shouldn't I? I mean you'd have thought so, wouldn't you? But apparently not.

Ooh, it's a bad world.

Tryphena Absent

13:36 / 12.10.05

I can't believe Alex is so irresponsible. How can he let his Granny assist people in the shower? The bastard!

13:59 / 12.10.05

I can't believe noone's leaping up and down to grap doozy floop's job possibilities. Or perhaps there's some frenzied PMing going on.

14:06 / 12.10.05

Are you sure about that job advice al? It recommends this as an opening to a job application:

"OK, I admit. I saw your posting just now for the Product Marketing Manager for Outdoor Adventures and Experiences just now on Craigs List, and I'm salivating. so I can't imagine a better adventure for a career than to market excitement and fun."

And this:

"In my last job, I had ten people working for me. It was stressful, and I didn't have a clue about how to manage at the time. Two of my team resigned in the first month, and I found it difficult to motivate the other eight who were all older than me. We still met our quota, but I was let go. To be fair, I was in over my head at the time. I have since been to two leadership training seminars, and I can see now where I went wrong."

I can see that the examples of bad letters given on that site are a bit boring, but I don't agree that admitting to incompetence is a more successful alternative.

Tryphena Absent

14:10 / 12.10.05

Perhaps we're all working? I'd like to do that job but I refuse to apply for anything until December.

15:41 / 12.10.05

My dad is looking for a draghtsperson- online mac user for architectural drawings. Anyone?

Whisky Priestess

15:45 / 12.10.05

Doozy - your job opp sounds perfect to me. I need part-time and have worked in that type of role at museums before. Can you PM or email me the details? I'll PM you my email address.

*

17:09 / 12.10.05

Damn. I can't relocate, but it sounds like good experience.

14:02 / 28.10.05

The company I work for is looking for a bright young thing to look after the day to day administration of our intranet. You don’t need to be particularly technical, but familiarity with things webby is obviously going to be an advantage. Looking at a 3 – 6 month contract to begin with, with potential for something permanent if it goes well. Based in a nice central London location.

PM me for more details if you’re interested.

01:02 / 31.10.05

Bumping this case any London Barbeloids missed it in the rush to get out of the office on a Friday, and are coming into work on Monday morning wishing they had a different job.

foot long subbacultcha

09:22 / 31.10.05

Started off the process of emigrating to Canada but am discovering that agents are pretty costly. Wondering if it's worth the hassle of doing all the work myself to save the cash. The guy I just spoke to says it'll cost me two grand for the pleasure of having people help me out both here and once I'm in Canada.

Anyone done anything like this before?

13:49 / 01.11.05

My group at the National Geophysical Data Center in Boulder, CO is looking for a fairly senior Java programmer with lots of XML experience and preferably some knowledge of Oracle and spatial database extensions. PM me if you're interested! We can't pay for anyone to move, though.