The Bitch Thread

15:26 / 17.07.04

This is a gender-nonspecfic bitch thread for all the mensing babe in the house. Bring your menses and party!

Let us begin...

YEAH! I have my period and I am bitchy and irritable, and I am having "discomfort" that my stupid Midol has done little about. SO WHAT!? How about I make you bleed once a month for nearly the rest of your life? Then you might want to bitch too! You've heard of the "Vagina Monologues"? Well, this is the Vagina Diatribes. My vagina is on fire and speaking in tongues, babeee!

15:30 / 17.07.04

Irritable! Ha!I want to carve my reproductive organs out. A blunt and rusty knife would do.

Then I'll get to yours. And everyone elses.

All ovaries MUST DIE.

I'm awash with anger and blood and arrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Urge ... to ... kill. rising.

And virtual spliffs *do not* cut it.

gravitybitch

15:41 / 17.07.04

Not particularly "hormonal" right now, but....

My periods have become irregular (in timing, length, and intensity) and it looks like I may be hitting the wonders of perimenopause.

It's ugly (I should have a "red tent" of my own for a week or so) and uncomfortable ('nuff said) and inconvenient (you've got to be joking, do I really need to carry three super tampons to work just in case?), and I'm seriously considering going back on the pill to make this easier to deal with.

pomegranate

16:33 / 17.07.04

fuck midol!!! don't take it, it's crap. it has acidominophen in it, fuck that. you need ibuprofen. it inhibits the prostiglandins your body creates that ~cause~ cramps. in fact, if you are a very regular cycling type, you can start taking ib's the day before to help make sure those prostiglandins don't get going.

i too am considering going on the pill cos my bleeding is such a pain. even though i'm not even sexually active. ha, ha! that might be good, though, cos when i was on the pill before, my libido took a big, fat, nosedive. so did my creativity. i'm anxiously awaiting the male pill/shot/implant/whatever.

18:44 / 17.07.04

Thanks for the tip Manty! I never liked Midol, or Tylenol.

I am gorging on celery to help though, because it has a natural sedative...and it is best I am keeped (kept?...hello? a witch who can't spell? WTF?) sedated ATM.

21:47 / 17.07.04

Who really needs to be emotional about a commercial, anyway? What purpose does this serve?

22:27 / 17.07.04

Been trying to cut the calories lately and was kinda proud I lost a few pounds in a few days when someone brings up the fact that I've probably just lost "water weight". I don't give a shit if I've only lost fucking toenail weight, a pound is a pound you insensitive prick.

22:56 / 17.07.04

Ouch. Even after chocolate, blankets, sofas and Zim, I *still* hurt.

Killkillkill

23:04 / 17.07.04

I wanna cry! I have to work tonight in 7 inch heels with my aching back!

Damn straight Mike Robot! Tell the jerk if they don't acquire some sensitivity, like now, I am going to put 7 inches in their chocolate kisser!

23:06 / 17.07.04

Ouch. Even after chocolate, blankets, sofas and Zim, I *still* hurt.
Try a heating pad. They can make your tummy feel better.

23:09 / 17.07.04

i too am considering going on the pill cos my bleeding is such a pain.
Maybe you could try the patch. That way you wouldn't have to be bothered with remembering to take a pill everyday. My friend said it made her feel fat, but mostly it just went to her boobs, and I really didn't see fat anywhere else, but I'm sure results vary.

23:13 / 17.07.04

BLACK COHOSH! I cannot recommend this highly enough, and am internally grateful to the person that put me onto it.

Black cohosh is an excellent remedy, both for the emotional side of things and for pains, even severe pains. Like all herbal remedies it should be used with caution and respect. You can buy it as a tea, but it tastes foul so try and get hold of the syrup if you can.

23:20 / 17.07.04

Although maybe it wouldn't be much help for you, Mike.

23:24 / 17.07.04

Yeah, cuz I'm not a hippy. Give me chemicals! Lots and lots of chemicals!

23:28 / 17.07.04

Tchh. Just coz it's herbal doesn't mean it hasn't got any chemicals. You can DIE from herbs.

23:29 / 17.07.04

Ooh, many thanks Mordant. Off for that tomorrow, and something that helps the emotional side would be VERY FUCKING HELPFUL.

er, sorry.

Mike: why not suggest to the annoying 'water weight' that they lose 6 kilos of ugly fat by cutting their head off? (stolen from a trashy novel, i think, but can't remember which one...)

23:31 / 17.07.04

Oh, and yeah, what Mordant said, re herbal medicines/drugs.... they can be just as potent....

23:32 / 17.07.04

Sorry, I was just being bitchy. I'll give it a go if I ever see it. (many times over the years female friends would tell me it most be that time of the month for me or that i acted like a girl, which i could have considered a kind of approval from the worldly sisterhood. but it turns out they just thought i got really whiny and crybabyish sometimes)

23:36 / 17.07.04

I think chapparal or chickweed, I cannot remember and i have to go right now, works well for water retention. I will check my books tomorrow.

Wish me luck in my torturous heels tonight.

Grrrrr....

23:37 / 17.07.04

Good luck!

23:38 / 17.07.04

I'll give it a go if I ever see it.

That's laudable, but unless you actually suffer from period pains, I suggest you stick to beer.

23:42 / 17.07.04

If you ever see me drinking beer, it'll probably be my last one for the night and the only reason I'm drinking it is because I don't have enough money for a shot of something tasty. Jack Daniels or Jager. (i wonder if alcohol works for cramps?)

Tryphena Absent

00:02 / 18.07.04

something that helps the emotional side would be VERY FUCKING HELPFUL

It's called crying.

00:06 / 18.07.04

well, i find things like red wine/baileys help. but that's only because I get kinda cozy drunk on them.

pot helps. alot. but alas I have none.

Also, raspberry leaf extract, for the cramps. It's a great natural muscle relaxant. (and I find it makes me pleasantly dozy, not unlike being very mildly stoned.)

00:09 / 18.07.04

Good luck in your torturous heels May.

And if it all gets too much you can always use them to carve out your uterus.

Anna, thing is, when I get teary, it's easier. It's when I feel angry knots forming in my stomach and FUCKING FURY buzzing through me that it's tricky.

May go and throw rocks in the sea tomorrow, I find violent physical exertion can help. Recommend it. Or punching something/someone that doesnt' mind.

Tryphena Absent

00:30 / 18.07.04

The most difficult thing about my period is the inability to write and that does lead to fury sometimes. It's not so bad conversationally, like I'm fine here at the moment but I can't manage a sentence on ritualistic clothes and my job application form lies untouched on the desk. I had to ask my heart how to reword 'I'm good at talking to people' and realised just how bad it was when he answered with the stock phrase, 'good communication skills.' Usually my 14 year old self could have come up with that but my brain just goes at this time of the month. It's like my panic factor goes up 150% along with my perceived body temperature.

00:39 / 18.07.04

ooh, what's 'ritualistic clothes' about? is this for the webthing?

Weirdly, i managed to do something productive today re a workingshop i'm cofacilitating . But that was because it was a very small thing, mainly administrative, and I just had to approve/edit my partner's text. Hacking and slashing I can manage.I sometimes find the anger good for my work ethic, I think it's a shot of energy.

The teary lethargy, though is a killer.

It'll pass, babe.

Come howl at the moon with me.

00:40 / 18.07.04

but then I have just coined the word workingshop

Mazarine

00:57 / 18.07.04

The thing that irritates me most is that I'm not rich, and damn it, I can't afford red meat or good fish on a regular basis, and I'm pretty bad about buying and cooking vegetables before they go bad, and menstruationg is just the biggest fucking waste of nutrients.

Now I know why so many mothers in nature eat their babies. Little vampires.

01:21 / 18.07.04

I know I would.

SD, sympathise, I begrudge having to spend extra money making myself not feel like a wreck once a month, even when I'm looking after myself otherwise. Mind you, I do really notice that my physical pains are alot less bad when I'm eating well...

And arrrrgghghghghhhhhhhh, with you on the overheating thing, Anna. Am about to go to bed in a moderately cool room under a light duvet.

Will wake up in a couple of hours drenched in sweat.

Ugh atm=Ovaries+meathook+mickey finns=joycore

01:38 / 18.07.04

x-posted from lateshift:

off to bed, to grimace and dream of a future where menstruation is removeable by an operation of the seriousness of say, an appendectomy.

Thanks May, for verily this thread is a thing of bloody beauty.

Mazarine

03:25 / 18.07.04

Argh. Sudden, unexpected total spontaneous angst-fest over my approaching move and how my children (cats) are going to take it. They'll be in the car with me the whole time, but I'm suddenly incredibly paranoid about them getting away at some rest stop in Virginia or something, even though I have no plans to let them roam around freely till we get to our new place.

Why this sudden spontaneous angst-fest? The hormones. The tupping hormones.

Tryphena Absent

15:57 / 18.07.04

I was sad and lonely so I insured myself on my brother's car (ten minutes!), got £17.85 back for my troubles because my car was more expensive and went for a drive. I love driving, driving makes my hormones go away! Drive, drive, drive. I'd be a lame ecologist.

16:47 / 18.07.04

You know that freaky phenomenon where women synchronize their menses?

Isn't that just wild!?