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Worship at the feet of Channel 4's Fifties Dominatrix Squad

Sax

14:46 / 15.07.04

Yes, Miss Allsop:

May I plump your pillows, Ms Cleaver?

I won't do it again, promise, Miss Frost:

I'm a filthy, filthy boy and I deserve what's coming to me:

Ganesh

17:59 / 15.07.04

*sigh*

(Your piccies are better than mine; I'll give you that...)

Ganesh

22:19 / 15.07.04

I am wondering which naughty, naughty boy gave Kim that pearl necklace...

Olulabelle

22:42 / 15.07.04

Can you really be a dominatrix in pale blue Marigolds? Even with the Marabou trim?

Ganesh

22:44 / 15.07.04

In the 1950s you can.

Sax

06:12 / 16.07.04

Sorry, should have said: Thread stolen from an original idea by Ganesh. I just wanted all the pitchers in one place so I could access them all with my mouse hand.

■

06:52 / 16.07.04

I was thinking of getting Kim and Aggie to team up with the "You are what you eat" woman and calling it "How clean is your arse?"
Sorry. I'll get me coat.

Ganesh

11:57 / 16.07.04

"And all these millions of bugs are laying their eggs in your arse!"

Vinegar enemas a-go-go.

Sax

12:03 / 16.07.04

You wouldn't be able to sit down on Naomi Cleaver's plump cushions after that, let alone on the NAUGHTY STEP.

Ganesh

12:05 / 16.07.04

Perhaps Naomi could then correct one's arse-design mistakes?

Ganesh

12:07 / 16.07.04

And Kirsty could then facilitate one's defaecation, defaecation, defaecation?

Spatula Clarke

12:14 / 16.07.04

I'm sure that Nicky Hambleton-Jones fits in here.

Would you take advice on how to look ten years younger - and have your ego ripped to shreds in the process - from a woman who is quite clearly trying too hard herself?

Ganesh

12:26 / 16.07.04

Hmm. She could certainly arrange some bot-bottox...

■

00:00 / 17.07.04

I always wondered how a woman who is clearly wearing a blonde wig was allowed to tell people off for looking old.

Spatula Clarke

00:43 / 17.07.04

Hmm. She could certainly arrange some bot-bottox...

Butox?

NotBlue

21:10 / 17.07.04

you cant all think Kirsty's a controlling yet caring schkoolmarm, t'was my idea and she's mine all mine

- and the herald/scotsmans', whove been forwarding 2 or 3 of these topic ideas recenty....

Ganesh

16:34 / 18.07.04

It's the suggestion of a double chin that just makes Kirsty. That and the suggestion that beneath that milkmaid complexion, she is, as the Office Dykes would have it (if they could), "really dirty".

Had a weird moment yesterday, watching Shrek 2 when Shrek turned his underbite to just the right angle to look weirdly reminiscent of Kirsty's Moonlightingesque partner/acolyte, Phil.

Spatula Clarke

18:23 / 18.07.04

There's a hint of the Nurse Gladys Emmanuels about that Kirsty photograph.

Ganesh

23:47 / 18.07.04

With a dash of Margo Leadbetter.

Sax

07:36 / 19.07.04

And a bit of Maggie from Love and Rockets when she scrubs up for a job interview.

Ganesh

00:12 / 20.07.04

I'm currently envisaging a twisted fantasy scenario in which the C4 Fifties Dominatrix Squad battle the eeevil (and they are) DirectLine Girlie Numskulls - the ones who leap gimpily into action to help 'their' man who's saved a lot of money with their pishy car insurance firm.

Perhaps our vinegar-totin' viragos could give them a "nasty prang"?

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