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CAREER SWITCH DAYDREAM NATION

 
 
No star here laces
08:18 / 13.07.04
You're sitting at work, it's crap, you hate your colleagues, you hate your clients even more, you're imagining what you really should be doing, that magic job or lifestyle that will make everything all right. What is it?
 
 
No star here laces
08:26 / 13.07.04
I think being a carpenter would be pretty sweet. You work with your hands doing something simple and practical, but with an infinite capacity for the exercise of skill. You work with wood all day and go home smelling woody. Mmmm.

When you get home you're physically tired but mentally stimulated and can therefore pour all that useful energy into something cool.

You get calluses on your hands. Calluses are sexy. You also get to have tools and a van. And wear dungarees or a boilersuit. I like navy coloured boilersuits best.

But wait. It takes 3 years training to be a carpenter. And I'd probably get bullied by the rough boys. Oh well.
 
 
Sax
08:49 / 13.07.04
Forest ranger or something like that. Except I'd be scared to go into the woods when it was dark, and I wouldn't want to have to touch any rats or dead sparrows or anything. But yeah, forest ranger.
 
 
illmatic
08:56 / 13.07.04
Well, I guess I'd like to single handedly resuscitate the theraputic approach of Wilhelm Reich and then follow through, sheparding in with this some of his (to me) sensible ideas into the social and eudcational spheres - self directed learning in schools, for one. This would be followed by resuscitation of his less acceptable ideas - the orgone physics - which would completely change our energy generating, enviromental and social models. We would then all live in an ecological sound, sustainable, green paradise FOR EVER.

THE END
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:04 / 13.07.04
I've always nurtured this desire to be a cult leader. You know, with a compound and everything. And tons of people who believe every word I say, no matter how bonkers. And give me stuff. (Not to mention themselves).
 
 
Saveloy
09:09 / 13.07.04
Blimey, I was just about to start an almost identical thread. It was to be called "I am 35 and I Have No Skills - Am I Screwed, or What?"

Being a carpenter really appeals to me too, for much the same reasons as Jefe. Wood rocks, and can be worked with simple hand tools. 3 yrs doesn't sound impossible, but what are the job prospects for an inexperienced 38 yr old carpenter? The same question applies to any new career, for me. I honestly have no idea if age still counts against you these days.

My ideal 'job' would either be poncey artist (sitting around painting and drawing all day, having a cup of tea every 5 mins) or drummer (sitting around making massive noises by hitting things with sticks). Too late for the latter, possibly not too late for the former, but I don't think I have the skill for it.

There was an advert on the bus for magistrates. Apparently the only quals you need are "reliability, trustworthyness and an interest in your local community". What do magistrates actually do? I'm picturing people in wigs, but suspect I'm miles off.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
09:14 / 13.07.04
I'd like to be a bookbinder. I would have my own workshop with all sorts of intriguing items for blind-tooling, gilding, gluing, stitching, etc., and all sorts of wonderful smelly leathers, and cloths, glues, and so on. I would sit in there all day listening to the radio and making beautiful books.

Or I'd like to have a hand-press. Or be a wood-engraver. Or own a sweetshop. Or a second-hand bookshop. Or be a weaver. Or...
 
 
Jub
09:16 / 13.07.04
I'd like to be a *good* author. You know, one with books published and relative success. I'd like to be able to make a living from it without being blockbuster seller man. Something credible, cultish and enjoyable.

I'm simply not a good enough writer though.
 
 
Axolotl
09:20 / 13.07.04
Saveloy, though being a magistrate no doubt has it's potential for shouting stuff like "let me through, I'm a magistrate" and so on, it is however a volunteer position covering expsenses only. That is why magistrates are all upper middle class and old. (gross generalisation alert) Which is also why they're advertising for people in order to be more inclusive.
 
 
illmatic
09:35 / 13.07.04
But when are you going to have to say "let me through, I'm a magistrate"? Are you not getting it mixed up with "doctor"?

Unless of course, the magistrate was about to dispense some-on-the-spot justice with HOT LEAD, Judge Dredd style, which may be a career change worth considering.
 
 
Axolotl
09:39 / 13.07.04
Well it's got to work better than "let me through, I work in an office" At least magistrates have some authority; you can probably get parking tickets cancelled too.
 
 
---
09:57 / 13.07.04
I'd like to be a *good* author. You know, one with books published and relative success. I'd like to be able to make a living from it without being blockbuster seller man. Something credible, cultish and enjoyable.

I'm simply not a good enough writer though.


I'm with you here, either this or make my own comic, or web-design. And don't defeat yourself with your not good enough! I'm sure all you need to do is practise. I'm sure it's just like playing guitar, the more you sit there trying the better you get.

Stoat : have you got that compound built yet or what? If you have and you can get broadband internet from inside it i might see you there one day, save me a bed, and a gas mask.
 
 
rizla mission
10:43 / 13.07.04
My ideal 'job' would either be poncey artist (sitting around painting and drawing all day, having a cup of tea every 5 mins) or drummer (sitting around making massive noises by hitting things with sticks). Too late for the latter, possibly not too late for the former, but I don't think I have the skill for it.

Yeah, I'm going for something along these lines too.

My favourite work daydream would have to be something along the lines of; "I wish it was the 1950s, so I could be a preposterous bohemian artist and rent a gigantic floor of a derelict building in a major European city for about £1 a year and spend all day hanging around chewing the fat with pretentious beatnik types, listening to Stockhausen and smoking 'jazz cigarettes'."
 
 
Saveloy
11:16 / 13.07.04
Phyrephox>

Thanks for the explanation. Bah! Much as I's like to be able to say "this situation requires an act of magistration, and I am a magistrate, so let me pass, won't you?", I'll be blowed if I'm doing it for free.


K-CC>

Yes! That's what I'm after. My own studio/workshop on a moderately busy industrial estate somewhere. You'd have radio 4 on permanently, punctuated by the occassional sound of activity outside (scaffolding poles clanging, workers whistling, electric motors whirring, huge machines in the distance). Visits from local stray cats. Hours would be spent sipping strong, hot tea, listening to other people work, or standing around out the back (concrete floor with interesting looking dust and debris blowing about) chatting to people in brown overalls, also sipping tea. I would spend much longer than is really neccessary making things (no idea what) which would inspire people to say "that's fucking brilliant!" and give me much more money for them than is really neccessary.

Thunking again, though, my ideal ideal job would involve travelling aimlessly about the UK on trains and buses (branch lines and suburban routes, between the rush hours), thinking up stupid ideas which I would sell to people to turn into stories, novels, films etc.

No, I know - being paid to make mix tapes / compilations. A warehouse full of records - every record ever made, in fact, constantly updated - to draw from. I could do that in the evenings. And yes, it'd have to be proper records, not just mp3s. That would be too easy, and I want to get away from staring at a PC screen all day.
 
 
Saveloy
11:30 / 13.07.04
Riz:

"rent a gigantic floor of a derelict building in a major European city for about £1 a year"

Heh heh, spot on. One half of Tower Bridge - a farthing a week. One of my art teachers did something like that back in the 60s. He'd come out of art college with no clue what to do with himself, so he bought a cathedral* in a village in Yorkshire for 2 bob and turned it into a studio / home. He was designing toilets for the MOD at one point. Apparently there's an RAF base somewhere where the toilets are modelled on a Roger Dean design for a night club.

*Okay, it was a methodist church, but still...
 
 
Bed Head
11:37 / 13.07.04
I was introduced to Roger Dean once. I was too awestruck to say anything, anything at all. I think I just gurgled.

So, I’d like to be him. One day, I’d like to be the dashing old arty guy that all the young men gurgle at.
 
 
No star here laces
11:50 / 13.07.04
We all SHARE THE SAME DREAM essentially. Let's buy a bus and live on it being arty travelling bookbinding magistrates!

But y'know what I mean? There's something so appealling about that kind of small fusty business tucked away somewhere with nothing more modern than a lathe and one of those mechanical tills in the corner...
 
 
Axolotl
12:11 / 13.07.04
I used to work in a green-grocers that was trapped in the 1950s. We wore blue overalls matched with fingerless gloves in the winter. It wasn't self service, you came in and asked for stuff and I had to get them down from the shelves. The heating was a paraffin stove and it had a old school mechanical cash register. Doing that kind of thing, but probably with books rather than fruit and veg, has always been a particular fantasy job of mine. I suppose think the shop out of "black books", but less nasty, more idiosyncratic.
That or archeologist for some huge institute, where they fund you and don't really want any results.
 
 
Baz Auckland
12:16 / 13.07.04
I would love to be a tour guide... it would be great to lead those package tours like 'walk across Mongolia for 3 weeks and pay me $6000 per person (air not included) to do so!'
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:21 / 13.07.04
Could I be a carpenter AND a cult leader? Or has that already been done?

Baz- I have a friend who does, well, not QUITE that (doesn't sound as exotic as you make it out to be, so I'm not sure), but leads tours around foreign climes. He LOVES it. In fact, he loves it so much he's quit his job at our place. In the same week that I inherit him as a minion. DAMN. Actually, thinking about it, I want HIS job, dammit, yes I do!
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:28 / 13.07.04
I would be a photographer for National Geographic. I would adventure across a myriad of tundras in a trusty jalopy, recording the lives of indigenous peoples wherever I went. My string of trusty assistants would always be amicable racontuers, filled with talent as they embark on promising careers.

On my occasional visits to westernised countries I would attend awards ceremonies and be very modest indeed.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
14:03 / 13.07.04
I want to be Angela Lansbury in the opening credits of Murder, she wrote (you know happily typing away at my old fashioned typewriter). Except I don't want to actually be Angela and I want to write really good stories about the intrigues surrounding individual deaths. Perhaps even multiple deaths. Shame I can't plot really!
 
 
lekvar
01:41 / 14.07.04
I would be Doc Savage, the Man of Bronze, living a life of adventure. Sorth of like the Seldom Killer, but with high explosives, mystery and romance. I would lead a crew of rowdies, each with an essential skill that defines their character, such as The Explosives Expert, The Weaponsmith, The Pugilist, The Theif...

Or maybe I'l just brush up on my HTML/CSS.
 
 
grant
16:20 / 14.07.04
Thunking again, though, my ideal ideal job would involve travelling aimlessly about the UK on trains and buses (branch lines and suburban routes, between the rush hours), thinking up stupid ideas which I would sell to people to turn into stories, novels, films etc.

No, I know - being paid to make mix tapes / compilations. A warehouse full of records - every record ever made, in fact, constantly updated - to draw from. I could do that in the evenings. And yes, it'd have to be proper records, not just mp3s. That would be too easy, and I want to get away from staring at a PC screen all day.


Sav, in LA, there are people who basically do both of those things and make a fairly good living at it. Well, maybe not the riding the trains, since there aren't any, but the mix tape thing and the selling ideas thing.
 
 
flufeemunk effluvia
17:56 / 14.07.04
Ghengis Khan.

C'mon. You know you wanna.
 
 
Ariadne
18:41 / 14.07.04
I'd fix bicycles in an oily workshop, humming to myself as I worked and intermittently listening to Radio 4. Nice grubby overalls, my hair tied back, my fingers all oily.
You're right, Jefe, this is pretty much the same dream, and with the same drawbacks - if I go and train in a bike shop i'll have to deal with 16 year old boys snickering at the mad old lady. Plus .... I'm kind of used to being paid well enough to actually buy bikes of my own. I just have to get really rich and then buy the whole shop. But with someone else to run it and do all the icky management stuff while I got dirty.
 
 
No star here laces
03:57 / 15.07.04
You know what else would be sweet? Being one of those moustachioed greek guys that take tourists on boat trips (a la "Shirley Valentine").

You spend your time maintaining your boat, lounging around the pier playing cards with grizzled layabouts and seducing middle-aged ladies. You grow old gracefully. You name the boat after your first true love.
 
 
fidrich
20:59 / 15.07.04
God yeah, I'd own a second-hand book shop with a little cafe type thing and loads of big comfy armchairs. The shelves would go right up to the ceiling and I'd have to use those uber-cool ladders on wheels, and I wouldn't hassle people to buy anything because somehow I'd be rich and wouldn't really need to make a profit. And then I'd go home to make audiobooks.

And I'd live near the sea. In France. With the French version of Classic FM on the radio and all the preety, friendly and intellectual locals.
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
08:11 / 16.07.04
Writing and drawing comics, natch. You'd think for something I supposedly so desperately wish to be doing I'd be doing it any given chance I get, but you'd think wrong. No, wait, I think wrong... ly? You begin to see there is a fundamentally-flawed circuit somewhere, which as yet remains unrepaired.

Other than that, I'd be engaged in one of my zanily idiosynchratic retail notions or online geek herding concepts, none of which I feel like going into detail on, save to say I think they're pretty cool and someone ought to give me a wad of cash to actually make them happen.

/+,
 
  
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