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A moment

QUINT

00:57 / 24.02.02

For the first time
in my life
I kissed someone
with a three year old child
and was conscious that
she lived in a separate but adjoining world
of priorities.

You guys will doubtless think me naive but
I'm reeling a little here.
Not that I didn't know -
But the impact of her real world on mine
(which seems far, far less real)
is a little boggling.

She was, need I say, at least four years younger than I am - and it's not like I'm even thirty.

This isn't some kind of poem, incidentally. It's more
disjointed thinking as it happens.

I feel naive and unprepared, also old and protective, and finally
at a loss.

Help.

Hieronymus

02:20 / 24.02.02

I can most definitely empathize with your situation, Will, as I'm in one just like it. What do you mean by unprepared and naive? Is it the weight of her having a child and all that that entails what is troubling you?

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

03:50 / 24.02.02

It can be disconcerting...I remember reading Dennis Miller in an interview who said it best, "I look at my wife as she looks at our child and I am struck by the fact that this small person is a part of her, while I'm just a date that worked out."

When you date someone with a kid, you are bringing more into it, it can't be as casual, since there are two people you are getting involved with.

I feel for you, but don't know what help you need other than for us to listen, so I'm listening.

QUINT

22:45 / 24.02.02

Uh ohhh.

I was very drunk when I posted this. Perhaps it would have been wiser to wait until my obvious e e cummings stylee had worn off.

However, thanks.

It's not so much that she had a kid, as it was that I live in a totally other world where that kind of responsibility is still a long way off.

And yet.

So yeah, I felt tiny and useless. And humbled. Although I have to say also protective and serious.

grant

19:57 / 25.02.02

It's easier than you think.

I now have a seven year old who's itching for me to become his stepdad.

It's cool.

Lothar Tuppan

20:12 / 25.02.02

It IS very cool and it IS easier than you think.

The responsibility is a bit overwhelming, both hers and yours (if you ever find yourself in a truly commited relationship with her).

The hardest reality that forces you to either grow up or get the fuck out of relationships like that is that you'll have to come to terms with the fact that you will always be a lower priority than her kid(s). You can enter her world but you will never be an inherent part of her world.

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