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Birthday Magick...

 
 
not-so-deadly netshade
00:47 / 30.06.04
Let me tell you folks something. THIS boy is in bad spiritual shape with his 27th birthday on the horizon. Something's gotta give. I need some FOCUS. Help a brother out? Rituals? ANYTHING?!?!?
 
 
Skeleton Camera
01:21 / 30.06.04
I've been having a very similar experience along the course of 21-22, prime time of course to actually have such a thing. And 27, as it nears 28...but that's all seven-year mythology and is sort of irrelevant right now.

What is your "bad spiritual shape" exactly? Any idea what your demons are? More info would help a great deal. I have done a great deal to work with/through these things.
 
 
not-so-deadly netshade
11:10 / 30.06.04
Alright, I have a certain "duality" to my nature that I've been having serious trouble resolving. On the one side, there is the hardworking, athletic, all-american boy. On the other side is the hard drinking, altered state-inducing, Jagger-esque dancing, mean motherfucking guitar playing, sharp dressing, all night maniac.

It's like, not so much Clark Kent/Superman, as it is Superman/King Mob. BOTH are extremely important facets of my identity, but I seem to have trouble reconciling one lifestyle with the other.

That's only the beginning.

Then there are lingering love/commitment issues, a general inability for the most part to settle into contemplative/meditative activity, self-doubt that ALMOST manifests as voices telling me to "not fucking bother", etc....

Now, I KNOW I won't take any kind of medication I can't "prescribe myself" (as I fear what it would do to my creative drive), and for the most part, I'm certain that my problem is of a spiritual (rather than chemical) nature.

I...ummmm...I'm probably not making any sense at all, am I? But again, all help is appreciated....
 
 
Chiropteran
12:06 / 30.06.04
modlad: I've had to deal with many similar issues over the last few years, and there are two main things I have found that helped immensely (limiting the discussion to magickal options for the moment): pranayama (breathing meditations, MOL) and more recently hoodoo-style spiritual baths.

I know that there are a lot of 'lithers who swear by the pranayama and who could probably give you a better (read: more informed/experienced) introduction, but I'll just say that when I started practicing I noticed drastic results after only about 3-4 days (including a sharp reduction in habitual/addictive behavior, work and relationship-related stress, and eye tension - I also slept better, had more energy and emotional control, and felt far more able to [here's the good bit] reconcile the often violently opposed sides of myself, which in turn fueled my rising self-esteem. It's good stuff, I shit you not). These results continued for as long as I kept up the exercises, and many of the positive changes have stuck even though I don't practice as regularly anymore.

As far as spiritual baths go, there is a pretty good basic introduction here (ignore the catalog part). To sum up: spirituals baths come in two broad catagories, drawing and removing (e.g. drawing luck or removing crossed conditions or "jinxes"). For what you describe, I would suggest a combination of the two, to remove self-doubt and negativity and replace it with confidence and luck. Herbal/Mineral bath mixes are pretty easy to make, and can be tailored specifically to your needs.

I haven't done a whole lot with spiritual baths myself, yet, but what I have done has been extremely helpful in getting through some rough times (like you describe), and the effects have been noticeable immediately ("yeah, it's like that.").

Lastly, I'm curious to hear more about your difficulties reconciling the two sides of yourself (if you feel like sharing) - I have long identified as a mid-continuum multiple, and I'm always interested to hear how others deal with their "divergent identity" issues.

Meanwhile, have fun!

~L
 
 
eye landed
10:54 / 02.07.04
Stick an avacado in yer bum.
 
 
not-so-deadly netshade
11:00 / 02.07.04
Avocados are too fattening...

But aside from that, the pranayama definitely sounds like it's worth considering, and that Lucky Mojo site is BRILLIANT! I found it a while back while searching for Robert Johnson guitar tunings...

Here's an example of my "identity issues". My birthday is Monday. There's a large party tomorrow night. But TONIGHT is the NYC Motherfucker party which is, completely insane, and not to be missed. So, my "responsible" self wants to stay in, not spend money, as there will be another party tomorrow night. Mr HYDE however, has other ideas...

Maybe if I DO just party through the long weekend like a madman, I'll end up with that much needed "fresh perspective" I need for my birthday? (albeit, one brought on by hangover and sleep deprivation)
 
 
Char Aina
17:32 / 02.07.04
go the the NYCMotherfuckerParty first.
dont get fucked up, just enjoy it as an event.
talk to wasted people and ask them vaguely about some of your issues. random fucked people can be the greatest source of accidental wisdom. you get an interesting honesty too.

then go get really fucked up at your birthday.


i reckon that would be a better way to get a good perspective, seeing as it will minimise any chance of getting those hangover/comedown horrors in the middle of a big fat symbolic marker of ageing. you might even have one of them E-piphanies.

use your drugs, dont abuse your drugs.


just my $0.01, possibly another penny to follow.
 
 
Skeleton Camera
21:19 / 02.07.04
I'm there with Toksik. Get advice from others, particularly people you a: don't know or b: are VERY close to. Make sure they're 'altered' or in a very uninhibited mood. A lot of demons come out best when sighted by another, and while it's very hard for you, it gives you something to work with.
The trick to the identity/karma/demon struggle is to realize how non-egoic it really is. Meaning: it seems like a very introverted, self-oriented process - but in fact it can only be resolved by contact with others. The ego, particularly a polarized one as you describe, will eat itself in that state - trying to maintain 'stability' at all costs. Introversion is NOT the answer.
This may well be why so many people need therapy to overcome problems - the therapist is, most importantly, AN OTHER person dedicated to examining you.
 
 
not-so-deadly netshade
21:23 / 02.07.04
Ah...thanks for all the insight, folks! I'm sure it'll come in handy. Keep 'em coming! And maybe I'll see some of you at nycmf!
 
 
hashmal
01:42 / 03.07.04
perhaps a psychedelic experience may be in order. although i would not suggest doing this in a 'party' situation. i remember reading about south american ritual use of datura for more or less the kind of situation you mention, an initiation rite. due to the extreme nature of the drug the initiates sever all ties with their previous identity. it usually lasts about 3 or so days in these rituals. i would definately not recommend using datura however. some nice psilocybes or a juicy tab of acid would suffice. all depends on how you feel about these things of course, and if you can arrange a situation to take them that is conducive to a beneficial experience and not a bad trip that may only exacerbate things.
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
00:38 / 04.07.04
Modlad, mate, if your biggest life dilemma of the moment is confusion over which party to go to, you really don’t have that much to worry about…

For the underlying identity issues and general mid-20s crisis thing that you seem to have going on, I’d recommend two courses of action. Firstly, sort yourself out with a series of hoodoo baths as suggested above. It’s good powerful stuff. Set aside two weeks for it. First week for uncrossing, second week for blessing. You should be able to piece together ingredients for the baths from Cat Yronwode’s Lucky Mojo site, it’s a great resource. Ideally, you’d be taking a hoodoo bath every night during this period, but you can get away with three hoodoo baths a week I reckon. The more effort you put in, the more powerful the operation is likely to be though.

Second course of action is to get yourself a sharp new suit made up. In my head, odd place that it is, the lines between hoodoo and mod are becoming increasingly blurred. Occult tailoring is something I’ve been developing and working with for the last few months.

There’s a hoodoo practice called the ‘sewn up pocket’, which is like a mojo bag sewn into an item of clothing. In modernist hoodoo, the whole suit functions as a bag, a mojo suit, if you will. Only you can wear it. It’s made for you according to your design, and all the specific features of it should have occult significance.

The act of getting it made is a magical act. It will be a physical expression of the new life and persona you wish to step into. If your perceived problem is a lack of balance between two aspects of your personality, get a suit made that will resolve that issue. Have some aspect of the suit’s design reflect the balance that you want to achieve, for instance the placement of the pockets, buttons or side vents. Choose a colour and material that reflects, in hoodoo terms, what you want to accomplish. Go on a psychogeographical drift around your city, asking the mod hoodoo spirits to guide you to the right tailor who will be able to construct the suit you need. The whole process of getting it made, down to every last detail, should be a magical act. Clean living in difficult circumstances.
 
 
not-so-deadly netshade
07:35 / 04.07.04
Gypsy...that sounds fascinating! And Lucky Mojo is an INCREDIBLE resource!!!!
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
18:33 / 04.07.04
..and I haven't even got into the whole thing of getting Spirits to inhabit little mirrors and attaching them to your scooter yet...
 
 
Seth
23:57 / 04.07.04
Alright, I have a certain "duality" to my nature that I've been having serious trouble resolving.

Is there another "you" which noticed this dualism and can observe both of them simultaneously? I'd lay money that there is. Once you realise that, notice what else you realise as a result that will be helpful in dealing with this.
 
 
--
00:54 / 05.07.04
Just fire up the Sims computer game, create a character just like you, build a house/apartment just like yours, lock them inside it, then burn "yourself" to ashes. Create what you want to be over the ashes of the old. Changes on the microscopic level eventually spill over into the macroscopic level.
 
 
luke hugh
17:04 / 08.07.04
I suggest you just become more of what you already are.We've all gone through something dealing with split personalities. Read some Herman Hesse and Steppenwolf and get over it.
 
 
elkhart
09:58 / 20.07.04
To Get More Vital Energy into Your Body;

Do Solar Plexus Deep Prana Breathing
Drink Shots of Wheatgrass, it has ORMUS in it
Wear Tibetan Medical Braclets & Necklace
Wear Magnetic Heamotite it attracts the Pranic Field
Do A Good Deed a Day, Give and You Shall Recieve

Read Alchemy Literature
The Philosophers Stone is Vital Energy Prana/Ormus
The State of Depletion or Repletion of it Effects your
Consciousness Health and Well Being
 
 
elkhart
09:59 / 20.07.04
To Get More Vital Energy into Your Body;

Do Solar Plexus Deep Prana Breathing
Drink Shots of Wheatgrass, it has ORMUS in it
Wear Tibetan Medical Braclets & Necklace
Wear Magnetic Heamotite it attracts the Pranic Field
Do A Good Deed a Day, Give and You Shall Recieve

Read Alchemy Literature
The Philosophers Stone is Vital Energy Prana/Ormus
The State of Depletion or Repletion of it Effects your
Consciousness Health and Well Being
 
  
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