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Gypsy tripped this button, discussing the Lwa and their needing no magical work to appear in life. In my experiences the majority of what I now call "magical" or "mystical" experiences were spontaneous and unconscious.
I'm going to avoid analyzing or categorizing these experiences and just describe them.
The earliest I can remember was being on the top of a local street as a child, having biked up there, in Autumn. I turned around and felt a rush of energy up my body. Right up my trunk until I felt I would explode. This memory is sensual and visual. This is the first time I don't recall being part of the "scene" or having a self-consciousness present. This memory is just the feeling and the sight.
Autumn is and has been extremely powerful in my life. Aside from the peak experiences I have always felt greater energy in Autumn, particularly for creation.
Early in adolescence I began having unexpected astral projections and samadhi experiences. These usually occured while I was bathing after a long and tiring day of work or school. I would drift off and hear voices, see figures, sometimes locations, sometimes have conversations. Sometimes there would just be a "blip" before waking up an hour or two later. These became telepathic for a short time a few years ago. I would have a conversation with a friend and we would both reference it later, having never had it "in reality."
I developed a goth-romantic persona during the same time and fed it everything I could find. The extent to which I carried this, looking back, is half-thrilling and half-strange. It's a miracle I did not get physically attacked, walking around a relatively rural area in some seriously foppish gear.
I had developed a habit of walking at night, usually with canine accompaniment, and did so almost every night in all sorts of weather. I had a uniform for these trips, an overcoat and old hat, and sometimes carried a walking stick. This was part of the persona. Occasionally on these walks I would encounter something that was not comfortable, and frequently would have to detour certain areas because of it. I also conversed with trees, listened intently to the wind, and watched the stars a lot.
Strange to recount this because here, in my current identity-crisis state of depression, a lot of this seems silly. But it was completely serious at the time and, what's more, it WORKED.
About four years ago, on such a walk, I had a life-altering illumination experience. Agitated about something, I stopped at a hillside and overlooked the surrounding area. It was cold, clouds were blowing purple overheard, and the trees were skeletal and silhouetted. Processing this agitation badly I began to breathe deeply and then, as I can best describe it, "bleed" beyond me. Everything suddenly focused. Trees. Clouds. Wind. Road. Streetlights. Everything was suddenly THERE and I was hyperventilating and overwhelmed. This was the second main "non-self" moment.
Various smaller illuminations followed. This event set me down the spiritual road, leading to magic, reinventing my understanding of art and my interactions with people. I also had some darker moments, such as when a girlfriend and I snuck off to fool around. Shortly afterwards we smelled a rotting, sweetish-sour odor that just seemed to blow in. But there wasn't any wind. This was genuinely frightening. We took off. I searched the area come daylight for dead animals or somesuch but nothing was there.
What interests me most is how these were spontaneous experiences that I've correllated, much later, with documented techniques or occurances. I understand the goth-romantic persona now as a multi-year magical act. It certainly was an effort of extreme willpower and experimentation, and despite no conscious goal it opened me to deep love, spiritual illumination, and the Next Step (bum bum BUM!) That understanding, though, makes it difficult to figure out where to go next.
What has happened to YOU spontaneously? Was there magic before Magic? What's the frequency of things like this? |
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