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Just how many PhD students do we have here, anyway?

  
 
Grey Area
12:09 / 11.06.04
Like it says: How many PhD students read/post/lurk on this board? I know of two, mainly from BoBossBoy's 'Your Job' thread: Psi-Lock and Lucky Count Scrubbyetczyki.

So give us a wave if you're a PhD student or someone who went through the 3-4 years of intellectual wrangling and actually has that magic 'Dr.' prefix to their name. And share your experiences with us...what's your PhD like? Do you have teaching/marking work on a regular basis? Still like your topic? Any advice you wish to share?

Me, in bullet-point/questionnaire form:
Topic: The development of children as consumers
Years spent: 2.5
Almost done: Maybe...depends on how quickly I analyse the data.
Best experience: Teaching photoshop and design principles
Worst experience: Marking exams
Reputation: Toughest postgrad marker/lecturer in the department, but good to have as a dissertation supervisor or one-to-one basis teacher. Shows no-one any work for months, then inundates supervisor with reams of the stuff for two weeks.
Number of published articles: 0 (but am working on two)
Happy with subject: Yes-ish
Why: It's still a fascinating topic, with loads of future research potential...but after nearly three years of working on it there's a definite decrease in motivation levels. End's in sight though, which is always a good thing.
Worst teaching experience: Having a student ask to be relocated to a different seminar group because "it's not worth my while coming to uni on a Monday just for a seminar"
Best teaching experience: The mother-of-three who had to drive for an hour and a half to get to uni and always had to be back home by five thirty to get dinner on the table for the family who didn't want her doing the degree...well she got a first in her dissertation. Which I advised on. Still gives me a happy.
Future career plan: Either stay in academia to teach and continue researching my topic, or get a nice job in advertising/marketing with which to build up some savings and then go into academia to teach and continue researching my topic.
 
 
Psi-L is working in hell
11:52 / 14.06.04
Well yes I'm one...as previously advertised...not as far down the line as you though Grey Area...but looking forward to being Dr...at the end...until i'm on a plane somewhere and I'm expected to give someone an emergency medical procedure with a coat hanger and a biro.....I suppose I could lull them into some sort of anaethesia with a quick lecture on sociology...

will answer the rest in keeping with your style:


Topic: scientific, social scientific and public understandings of science
Years spent: 1.5
Almost done: not by a long shot.....
Best experience: Teaching my own module on a MSc course last year
Worst experience: hmmm, so many to choose from...the weeks at a time of crushing guilt over not getting any work done? or perhaps the constant juggling of paid work and academic work, leaving me a day off a week if i'm lucky....and yes marking exams...which i'm carefully distracting myself from as I type.
Reputation: Wiser perhaps than I look in years (one of my classes consisted of lots of mature students that were at least ten years older than me)...and a tough marker.
Number of published articles: 0 (and will be staying that way at present...may try and write my thesis into a book once done though)
Happy with subject: Sometimes
Why: When its going well I feel that I might just be contributing something new to my field...othertimes I wonder what i'm doing in academia at all.
Worst teaching experience: Having undergraduate students flirt with you....creepy.
Best teaching experience: teaching on a course about fringe science i.e new-agism, psi phenomema, astrology to a group of students with a largely scientific background and watching their belief in what can be considered scientific truth crumble...
Future career plan: Maybe stay in academia a bit and move into new areas of my field, such as the representations of science in popular culture (think reading sci-fi and comics and wanking pretentiously on about critical theory for hours), maybe if i'm still interested in the more political side of what i do go and work in policy/gov/think tank.
 
 
Loomis
12:49 / 16.06.04
I finished mine 3 years ago, and it was a far more sedate experience that those described above. Topic: "An exploration of the vortex as the central metaphor for Ezra Pound's poetic process." Try saying that three times quickly!

I was just doing it for my own interest so I never explored the avenue of teaching, but the possibility was almost non-existent in my dept. Funding is being cut more and more, leading to a huge reduction in face to face hours and half the full-time staff who'd been there for years were getting the axe, so there was hardly any room for postgrads to teach. I only knew about two or three people who got a couple of hours tutoring and for them to work up to a full-time position would probably take many years of part-time teaching and part-time other work. Fortunately for me I had no great desire to be an academic but it's a tough road for those who do.

So I spent three wonderful years in my bedroom reading books on my favourite writer - what a gift that time was. I only saw my supervisor a few times a year, when I had stuff for him to read over. I knew pretty much what I was aiming for at the start, so I just knuckled down and did it, then handed it in and jumped on a plane to the UK, and I'm still here, working in admin. It's funny when people find out about it and give you this weird look as though they're so shocked that you could have a PhD and not be a professor somewhere.
 
 
Bill Posters
16:26 / 17.06.04
I guess I should contribute here, for I am technically Dr Posters, have been for a while, though not long enough to get used to the idea. (This thread's a bit under-contributed to atm, y'know... there are quite of few of us who've not yet replied.) Aaanyway...

Topic: I’d rather not give out too much personal info as it goes, so I'll just say it was Social Science.
Years spent: 5 (and a half, if one includes marking time and corrections).
Done: Yes, thank fuck.
Best experience: My many adventures in the name of fieldwork.
Worst experience: Earning less as an assitant teacher than I can behind a bar. It's crushing when you're in your twenties. In one’s thirties, it's fucking terrifying.
Reputation: Popular with students (i.e. too damn nice). Reasonably popular with collegues, though I have few close friends amongst them - I prefer to keep my distance, finding many of them dull and straight-laced.
Number of published articles: 0, but many on the go.
Happy with subject: Yes.
Why: Because it’s cool and studying it taught me much about myself and the world.
Worst teaching experience: Spoiled little shits who think the purpose of my being there at less-then-minimum-wage is to be a character in their psychodramas.
Best teaching experience: Knowing you’ve made a differance.
Future career plan: Try to stay in academia, of which there isn’t much of a hope in hell and hey, you can earn the same money driving a train, so who cares? If I leave academia, I have no idea what i'd do.
Overall feeling: Glad I did it, but ever so slightly bitter about how difficult it is to get into and stay in academia.
 
 
alas
17:38 / 17.06.04
Topic: Children, US Lit/Culture, mid-19th c.
Years spent: I don't know--a lot. I was doing many complex things at the time . . . let's say . . . 5?
Done: I'll just quote dr. posters "Yes, thank fuck."
Best experience: Making love while discussing Derrida. (That dates me, too.)
Worst experience: Again, I agree with Bill, poverty by choice is not fun, esp in ones thirties (& with children) . . . Grading papers destroys the soul after awhile.
Reputation: Flirtatious. With everyone.
Number of published articles: ummmm. . . I'd say 4? And a book on the way.
Happy with subject: Yes.
Why: because it is bitter--bitter / and because it is my heart.
Worst teaching experience: Bored but demanding students. Damn them to hell. Either be bored and undemanding or interested and intense, but please . . .
Best teaching experience: A student that I had two years ago still writes me erotic little emails filled with theory and joy and tales of his much-more-exciting-than-mine sex life.
Future career plan: I'm TENURED! (As of last month, and promoted to associate.) I have a sabbatical this fall. (!) I have loads of survivor guilt, Bill, but I am very happy. I wish you well, by the way, whereever you are. Someday, we'll take that trip to Mallorca . . .
Overall feeling: happy.
 
 
Jackie Susann
06:51 / 22.06.04
Topic: I think the working title is 'Bodies of the Camps', about mandatory detention and border control in Australia.
Years spent: Bit more than one so far.
Done: Not even close.
Best experience: Karaoke at the Cultural Studies Association of Australasia conference in Christchurch last December.
Worst experience: Marking second year essays (which, incidentally, I am procrastinating as I type).
Reputation: The 'political' one in the department. The one all his students have crushed on.
Number of published articles: None in refereed journals, a couple in magazines and stuff.
Happy with subject: Yes.
Why: Because I can't comprehend some of the abstract bullshit topics people somehow justify to themselves..
Worst teaching experience: Oh and again, marking the fucking essays.
Best teaching experience: When one of the (not to sound harsh) dumber, less studious kids said I was his favourite teacher ever, and that he'd loved hearing my stories every week. 'Like that time you said, "I've got a hangover, talk quietly."'
Future career plan: Return to the dole, work in cereal factory, travel, become a medical doctor before eventually returning to cultural studies.
Overall feeling: Yeah, I totally dig it.
 
 
Cat Chant
08:04 / 22.06.04
Hijacking topic to say I have to submit in three months and have recently started having regular attacks of hysterical crying... this is normal, isn't it? Make with the support, you already-Dr-type peeps.

In the meantime - Grey Area:

Topic: The development of children as consumers

I hesitate to ask, but I'm really curious... isn't this, like, an eeevil topic? Are you, like, being funded by Disney? Or are you being funded by Adbusters and it's really a topic of goodness?

My own topic is a bullshit abstract one, which I justify to myself because, you know, someone agreed to fund me for three years to do something I was really interested in, and since no-one except the examiners ever reads PhDs anyway, no harm done, I figured.
 
 
Grey Area
08:22 / 22.06.04
Topic: The development of children as consumers

I hesitate to ask, but I'm really curious... isn't this, like, an eeevil topic? Are you, like, being funded by Disney? Or are you being funded by Adbusters and it's really a topic of goodness?

I suppose it's a double-edged sword of a topic. My justification for doing it is that the results would allow the likes of the ASA to bring in more focussed and effective rules against advertising to children. On the other hand, yes, the results would also help make advertising to children more effective. It's something that weighs heavily on my conscience some days because I know that once I get my results out in the open I have no control over what is done.

It is an eeevil topic...you should see the books on my shelf. All about how to market to kids, increase marketing responses from kids, maximise the influence of the child on the family and the like. The scary thing is that so many are done up with bright, colourful covers in Dr. Seuss style.

Sell I do,
Sell to you.
Sell I do,
Sell through you.
And there's nothing you can do!

Oh, and funding from Adbusters? I wish...
 
 
No star here laces
08:40 / 22.06.04
Grey Area, I really wouldn't worry about the ad industry exploiting your research. They're only just catching on to Daniel Kahneman (and that took a Nobel Prize to get their attention).

Who here started their PhD late in life with only a BA in an unrelated topic to go on? Because I'm considering doing that, and am wondering what the pitfalls are...
 
 
illmatic
08:47 / 22.06.04
Deva: out of interest, what is your diss. on?
 
 
Psi-L is working in hell
08:49 / 22.06.04
My own topic is a bullshit abstract one, which I justify to myself because, you know, someone agreed to fund me for three years to do something I was really interested in, and since no-one except the examiners ever reads PhDs anyway, no harm done, I figured.

Hey Deva, glad to see I'm not the only one who takes that approach to my topic! And I think the crying is pretty normal, I've not spoken to one person who hasn't found writing up and submitting the hardest, most psychologically demanding task...I hope that it goes ok! What are you planning to do once you're done?

And Grey Area...suddenly Dr Seuss has taken on a whole new sinister meaning for me..

'Do you like fast food and Spam?' hmmm I can see the re-writes now....
 
 
Grey Area
08:57 / 22.06.04
It's been done:

I am Spam
Spam-I-am

Spam-I-am.
That Spam-I-am.
That Spam-I-am.
I do not like that Spam-I-am.

Do you like my E-mail spam?

I do not like it, Spam-I-am.
I do not like your E-mail Spam.

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you like it if it's lewd?
Would you like it in the nude?

I would not like it if it's lewd.
I would not like it in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you want it at your ISP?
Would you want it 'cause it's free?

Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if it's lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you? Could you? From afar?
Take them! Take them! Here they are.

I would not, could not, from afar.

You will like them. You will see.
You will like them. You'll buy from me!

I would not, could not buy from thee.
Not from afar! You let me be.
Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd. Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

A bunch! A bunch! A bunch! A bunch!
Could you, would you, love a bunch?

Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Spam! Let me Be!
Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Say! On a lark?
Here on a lark!
Would you read it on a lark?

I would not read it on a lark.

Would you, could you think again?

I would not, could not, think again.
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Not at my ISP.
I do not like it, Spam, you see.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you, could you, A pyramid scheme?

I would not, could not, a pyramid scheme!

Would you, could you, something really obscene?

I could not, would not, something really obscene.
Will not, will not, a pyramid scheme.
I will not read it on a lark.
I will not, will not think again.
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

You do not like it, so you say.
Read it! Read it! And you may.
Read it and you may, I say.

Spam! If you will let me be,
I will try it. You will see.

Say!
I do detest your e-mail spam!
I do! I hate it! Spam-I-am! I really hate you, and your floozie!
I will hunt you with an Uzi!
I do not want that something really obscene!
I do not want your pyramid scheme!
They should take you to the deck!
And once there... should stretch your neck!
You are so evil, so evil, you see!
Get thee Satan away from me!
If I could find you and your ISP,
I would piddle in your shoes and on your knee!
I find you crude!
I find you rude!
I do not like you here or there.
I would not like you anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
Death to you
Death to you
Spam-I-am.
 
 
Psi-L is working in hell
08:59 / 22.06.04
That is pure genius.
 
 
Lurid Archive
09:03 / 22.06.04
Its been a while since I got my Phd and, ten articles or so later (and one in Russian. How cool is that?), since I am still not tenured I would say that the money and job insecurity are the worst. Everyone says that, because it is true.

I think some of the best teaching experiences have been being able to win classes over. I've turned up to teach business students who don't really believe that the scruffy goth who walks to the blackboard can really be the lecturer. Then someone speaks up and you can hear the tentativity in their voice as they call me "sir". Insisting that they use my first name never helps, since they find it hard to cope with (and pronounce) a very Italian name from someone who doesn't give off any greasy wop vibes. I generally let my expansive teaching persona take over and things are work out ok.

I think that is where I differ from Bill, in that I tend to think the students are often much more straight than the staff. But this could be a math thing.

Hijacking topic to say I have to submit in three months and have recently started having regular attacks of hysterical crying... this is normal, isn't it?

I spent that time in a speed fuelled insomnia where I hallucianted zombies. A lot. I saved crying until after the viva, but it comes to the same thing I reckon.

Hold on and be prepared for the drop at the other end.

since no-one except the examiners ever reads PhDs anyway

Examiners read theses? I remember having that kind of naive optimism once.
 
 
sleazenation
09:09 / 22.06.04
I spent that time in a speed fuelled insomnia where I hallucianted zombies. A lot. I saved crying until after the viva, but it comes to the same thing I reckon.


are you sure you weren't just playing LOTS of resident evil at the time as well?
 
 
Lurid Archive
09:18 / 22.06.04
Yes, of course I was. But the Zombies didn't go away just because I turned my playstation off.
 
  
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