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Failure to compartmentalise, needless worrying, and other ills

11:59 / 02.06.04

As I get older, I think I’m losing my ability to compartmentalise. In my early 20s, if you’d told me I was about to lose my job or get chucked out of a flat or whatever, I could probably have made a good stab at shrugging it off and getting on with things- sort of “nothing a few pints and a night out won’t cure”. Now I seem to have decided to devote a lot of time to worrying about every fucking thing that’s going on around me.
I’m finding it really hard to concentrate at work at the minute because of other things that are going on – nothing terrible, probably, just the same shit as everyone else, I’m sure- money worries and all the rest of it. Just wondered if anyone had any good ideas – how to get yourself to concentrate during these rough patches.
Or maybe i should just "get a grip" (pesky subconscious doesn't seem to respond to that one)

12:17 / 02.06.04

I know what you mean, and I go through the occasional patch like this myself. My boss just emailed me actually cos she thought I looked blue. (Bless).

I think some of it - for me at least - is to do with procrastination. Nothing major as you say, but when I'm getting stressed about stuff I find it helps to first of all realise you can't do anything about it there and then even though that is the overwhelming urge (thinking "fuck it all to hell anyway, those bastards!") - sit down when you've got half an hour and make a list of all the things you need to do, from the important stuff (voting forms) to the mundane (washing).

Once all that's done, you can relax pretty much and jusst try and do a couple of things a day, or if you don't feel like it, don't.

If it's more than the daily grind that's bothering you, why don't you take a couple of days off, go to the park and try and figure out what it is that bugging you and then work out how you need to change that.

13:12 / 02.06.04

I think that is fine advice Jub. Now if only I could follow it I'd be sorted. *goes home to stare at ceiling and think about doing stuff*

Our Lady Has Left the Building

13:37 / 02.06.04

Oy Meme, stop being a moany worrisome bastard you moany worrisome bastard!

< now goes off to solve the Arab-Israeli conflict by calling both sides 'tossers' >

13:44 / 02.06.04

I'd say just do anything physical to burn off that excess tension, mate. Bit hard to do the Tai Chi in an office though - you could just try and make the tea really slowly. Or start a fight with your boss so you could use the combat applications. Regular meditation helps with picking worries like scabs as well - twenty minutes a day spent counting breaths. Normally goes like this - "1, 2, 3, - hmm, wonder what's on telly tonight? Hmm, whatisname said..., no SHUT UP, empty mind - why can't I do it, I'm a failu..SHUT UP, 1, 2, 3,4....Hmm, I wonder what Dave looks like in the bath *WHY AM I THINKING THAT!!* - arrgh - SHUT UP, 1, 2, 3, 4... ". It gets easier, and eventually you can transfer the ability to switch off discursive thoughts to your day to day business.

14:03 / 02.06.04

BTW, I often do something similar to this in the office - I take 5-10 minutes where I contemplate my breath and don't let my attention wander too much and cultivate a general feeling of stillness. Works wonders for stress and problem solving. I relax my shoulders as well, after typing, and take off my glasses (so if anybody says what are you doing I can say "resting my eyes")

14:08 / 02.06.04

Also you need to remember that some of the techniques you have been practicing over the past few years are involved with trying to integrate mind and body, which is exactly why compartmentalisation doesn't work any more. (I'm facing this difficulty at the moment)

In short this is what you have been working towards, now you have to find a new way of dealing with the issues that integration brings. New ways of being, seeing and doing. It would explain some of the diffusion as you mentally panic at "not knowing what to do". I'm told it will pass as you form your new coping strategies. Try to relax and face things one at a time as the poster above suggests. Lists may be boring, but they do help to make unfocussed fuzz concrete.

14:14 / 02.06.04

Illmatic, that all sounds good. And since when have you been sitting in my head during meditations! (except the Dave bit of course!)

Will try as you have suggested, I sure as hell need some help stress busting and that all makes sense!

We now return you to your regular scheduled programme.

05:22 / 03.06.04

Yeah shit. I've felt like this too. Like you're getting older and you start to think about what's ahead in life or how much ya' got left or how some of the things you might have wanted to do ya' ain't done yet. And ya' start to concern yerself with things like security and comfort and retirement plans or whatever. Like ya' say, stuff that didn't matter when ya' were younger, or things that easily slid off the back--"I'm getting kicked outta' the place? Who cares, it'll all work out!" or whatever: that youthful zest of invincibility. Where does it go?

Illmatic's advice is tops: Zen brain control or whatev. Takes discipline and will though, and in no small amounts! But if you go that route, which is likely good, and I too would benefit from doing more of it meself--like the good old days!--then don't give up: it is much more complex and subtle than merely "getting a grip." A phrase like that is kinda' inane and self-defeating from the get go, so don't let such a little phrase mean much to you, and I won't either! It’s all in tiny increments and unnoticeable minute changes that butterfly out in time. Keep at it and I will too!

06:13 / 03.06.04

yeah... I dig the advice too. Being with yourself through meditation and letting things ebb away is always good. Also getting focused on a goal mentality is good... while, of course, using an enjoyable process on the way. By that I mean, don't think about things too far ahead when there's not a whole lot to do about it (well, except that 401k), instead, give yourself things to do that are obtainable and build up the good vibes from there. Pretty soon, you find yourself working on goals that seemed at arms length.

15:55 / 04.06.04

Cheers guys! –touched and enlightened by the responses. (insert icon of a wee sympathy face going “awww, bless!”)

Trying the meditation again…had fallen out of that due to being too busy and running around. Oh yeah, thanks for that angel- I’d kind of forgotten about that but yeah- working with Alexander technique and related deconditioning shenanigans does kind of erode some of the established coping mechanisms- that’s part of the deal.

Will spend some of this weekend hopefully lying around in the park thinking about things, in a good way