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My Life Becomes Reality T.V.

BigCedar

01:22 / 30.05.04

I'm returning to a summer theater company for my third season. Today I find out they cast a woman I had a relationship with for 6 years, lived together for 4. She cheated on me. It was ugly. It was her dishonesty that really wounded me. Now after about 8 years I'll be living in the same house and working with her.

I'm more than happily married. My life has moved way on.

I got her phone number from the company manager and we talked . I suggested we not bring up the details of our relationship to our fellow actors and she agreed.
We're both very professional and won't let our situation affect the productions.

But I'm still hurt, angry and blameful of her for feelings of distrust in my life.

Any thoughts? Similiar situations?

Ganesh

01:33 / 30.05.04

Don't do it. No matter how professional you both are, old resentments are gonna surface, in true Shakespearean fashion.

And if you do do it, check behind the mirrors for hidden cameras.

BigCedar

01:38 / 30.05.04

Theater has no other housing options.

Please someone say " It's an opportunity to grow and heal."

Ganesh

01:40 / 30.05.04

Are there other people in the house too?

lekvar

02:43 / 30.05.04

It's an opportunity to get some practice hiding bodies.

lekvar

02:45 / 30.05.04

Or conversely, you could try slipping her the ol' sausage, so that when things explode (and they will) everybody can have something to really feel bad about.

bio k9

17:04 / 30.05.04

The only time you're forced to live with someone is in prison.

BigCedar

18:02 / 30.05.04

There will be other people living there. Two of them freinds of mine.

The theater has agreed to "figure something else out" if problems arise.

Acting jobs are plenty hard to come by. This is how I make my living.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:42 / 30.05.04

To be honest, I'd go with Ganesh's advice. However, I am generally weak and emotionally vulnerable. I know I couldn't handle that, but maybe you can. Only you know that for sure.
It sounds like you're kind of resigned to it... if so, then good luck. Break a leg, or whatever you're supposed to say to thespians.

w1rebaby

23:01 / 30.05.04

I wouldn't do it. Living and working with an ex who you're still bitter towards? It would be bad enough just living with them, or working with them, I'd advise against either of those for a start... but both?

Whale... Whale... Fish!

23:51 / 30.05.04

I agree with Stoatie and Fridgemagnet. There is no way that I could survive it. However, it could lead to an interesting performance. What sort of roles are you both playing?

Olulabelle

23:57 / 30.05.04

I don't know about surviving it. Personally, I don't know why anyone would put themselves through it, because there is no way it can be easy however well you think you've dealt with it.

People just aren't meant to go through that kind of emotional trauma just for a job.

Choose the other path - get them to find you alternative accomodation!

Mazarine

02:29 / 31.05.04

Okay, it depends on what method of acting your theatre engages in. If it's all Stanislavski/Strasbergy, then I'd avoid mentioning the situation to the director and not go at all, because they may try to "use" it to get a better performance out of you.

Seriously though, no matter what the acting method, this sounds like a bad scene (no pun intended) waiting to happen. There are people in your life who you should forgive the crap out of but still never see again. It sucks that you would miss out on the summer stock experience, but then again, given how hellish this experience has the potential to be, it's probably best that you do.

flufeemunk effluvia

02:58 / 31.05.04

I've found OxyClean™ incredibly effective for cleaning up blood.

BigCedar

03:30 / 31.05.04

I will be working for the theater. I need a certain amount of weeks under contract to get my union health insurance. I am already contracted to play the roles( at this time of year almost all other contracts filled) and I don't want to give up a great role because of her.

I would consider living elsewhere but I would be giving up living with good friends. This is my third season there and its always been an incredible time. Work aside ,its like summercamp for grown-ups. Well...as grown up as actors can be, I mean.

Bed Head

03:32 / 31.05.04

What's the play? Which roles are you both going to be performing?

BigCedar

03:38 / 31.05.04

Merry Wives of Windsor
Me: Falstaff
Her:Mistress Page

Taming of the Shrew
Me:Baptista
Her:Kate

So play with that.

Mazarine

04:40 / 31.05.04

Dude. Seriously. Buy a sleeping bag and a tent. It'll build character.

BigCedar

04:56 / 31.05.04

Yeah, I guess I could find another place to stay.I mean the last time I had to suddenly find a new place to live was when the woman I was living with che...-Doh!

Whale... Whale... Fish!

13:16 / 31.05.04

Actually, why should you move?

Whisky Priestess

15:37 / 31.05.04

Behave like a mature adult and thereby force her to do the same. Ha! That'll teach her!

grant

20:21 / 02.06.04

Sally Dammerung is wise, and said what I was going to already.

And flufeemunk is absolutely correct about the OxyClean. It's wonderful stuff.

bitchiekittie

20:40 / 02.06.04

Im gonna go with whiskey.

getting over shit like that is easier said than done, but HELL, it sounds like though you've "moved on", you've still been allowing this resentment to keep fucking you up. maybe it's time to confront the whys and hows of this lingering mess so you can finally get rid of it. cause allowing it to spoil what could, and from what I've heard about you theatre people, should be a good time would be stupid - maybe think of this as an opportunity and not a disaster in the making.

HALF FULL, DUDE.

BigCedar

23:43 / 02.06.04

Hey, no one wants this to be a healing opportunity more than me. She's coming into my summer circle of freinds and I could have reacted by telling everyone "this woman who did me terrible wrong is coming!".

I'm trying to get beyond the expectation that she will feel remorse and have some apology to offer. Because, of course in my mind it's the least I deserve.

Yes, I refuse to let this spoil my fun.

Such yummy bluegrass by the bonfire laughing till your head explodes frequent nakedness until dawn fun!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:59 / 02.06.04

check behind the mirrors for hidden cameras

I swear there's an "arras" joke in there.

Olulabelle

00:14 / 03.06.04

Tits.

Why do I not get that joke?

BigCedar

00:24 / 03.06.04

Its about Polonius getting it in the arras.

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