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Random rant

Whale... Whale... Fish!

23:12 / 29.05.04

Argh! I love my current girlfriend but I can't get my ex out of my head, eventhough we broke up about a year ago. This is bad because I still love her. She's moving away to Brussels in October and I really want to see her before she leaves but know I shouldn't because we split on really bad terms (drugs, infidelity, that sorta thing) and she's also got a new partner (my former dealer) so seeing her would probably be a bad idea but I really miss her. Argh! This is definetly NOT good. I really don't need to give myself a headfuck over this. Argh!
I'm also stuck at home with a broken leg and, except for my family, I haven't had real person contact for days. At least I've got an appointment to see my doctor on monday so I might rant at him for a bit.
Furthermore, I've run out of green and seeing as I'm stuck in the arse-end of nowhere I very much doubt I'll be seeing any for a while. Grrrrrr..........

I want my head normal and preferable fucking caned!!!

Sorry for rant!

23:29 / 29.05.04

What would you like to happen if you did see her?

23:32 / 29.05.04

The next time you see your doctor ( ideally quite soon, ) explain that your leg is REALLY hurting.

Well, it's worth a try anyway.

23:42 / 29.05.04

your heads fucked-up and you want more drugs? why dont you take a bit of time to unravel the thoughts and feelings in your head while your stuck at home? and by the time you get out youll be able to enjoy and appreciate all the persians you like with the rest of us, safe in the knowlege all youll have to think about when you land, is what you got up too the night before.

23:47 / 29.05.04

Hello Puck!

Do carpet metaphors really help? I am not sure, but bless you for trying...

23:52 / 29.05.04

hiya belle, does that come off as confusing? its late and i always use lazy slang when im jacked on caffine.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

00:07 / 30.05.04

What would you like to happen if you did see her?

Closure. A feeling that both of us have moved on. Or maybe a sense that there was still something there. Or a mixture of the two. Or neither. Not sure.
And I'm not really making sense. I think I'll have a cigarette and hop throught to bed. Night, night.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

13:22 / 31.05.04

Ok just spoken to a mutual friend. Judging by the conversation with her, it is probably best that i don't speak to my ex. She seems to be doing well and I'm happy for her. I think what I wanted was life back the way it was and that's not going to happen but I'm still left with the feeling that I've fucked up yet again.

19:14 / 31.05.04

Whereabouts in Shetland are you Whale? Ariadne and I visited your isles last year ...

Whale... Whale... Fish!

21:57 / 31.05.04

The mighty Burra Isle lol, where abouts did you two stay?

15:54 / 02.06.04

We stayed in Lerwick for a few nights. One day we checked out Lerwick, another day we went down to Sumburgh which was quite nice. It was at the time of the heatwave last summer so it was like 18-20 degrees there and we walked along a beautiful beach in the sun. Ariadne introduced me to the quaint English pastime of paddling (would you believe it doesn't involve a paddle?) upon which my feet were frozen in about one third of a second.

The best day was when we hired a car and drove, via a couple of car ferries, to the island of Unst, then walked across a peat bog to Muckle Flugga, the wonderfully named northernmost tip of the British Isles and looked straight across the sea to the arctic. Absolutely gorgeous.

Do NOT get me started about trying to hire a car though. Fark. Or trying to get a vegan meal, but then that was to be expected I suppose. We had a nice pot noodle though one night. Shetland, I hardly knew thee.