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Fantasy dinner people

Tryphena Absent

15:39 / 21.05.04

You're having a dinner party. You can invite eight people. They can be living or dead. They can be famous or people from your past or your present but no family members and no one you see often. This is your fantasy list not your reality. So who are they?

These are mine:
Simone de Beauvoir. I fell in love with her autobiographies when I was about fourteen and still like to read them when I feel lonely. I think people should pay more attention to her and as existentialism is out of fashion she is given less credit than should be afforded to her (and I love her).
Patti Smith because... a pioneer for androgyny.
Sergei Korolev, he used a weapons program as a tool to do something he loved and I find the political story behind his work fascinating.
Julian Sackville West, the son of Vita and a Bloomsbury poet because I'd rather ask him about his life than read about it in a biography without any stylisation.
Becky Tobert, the first girl I ever felt passionate about, she leant me her Elastica tape. School phobic. I've wanted her to come back since my fourth year.
Sam Powell, a friend who committed suicide, an anarchist who dropped out of school at 15. He fundamentally changed me from someone intensely private to someone who could tell the truth about myself. I wish we'd been closer but we would probably never have seen each other again if he'd lived (as you don't see people who were fleetingly intense).
Vivienne Westwood, probably the best fashion theorist alive, her analysis of her work is fascinating.
Mark Rothko so that I could tell him how much I appreciate his art.

17:02 / 21.05.04

ghandi
he wouldnt eat much.

susan blackmore
seated between ghandi and pythagoras. sit back and listen.

pythagoras
i would love to see what he might make of communication and information technology, practically synapse-fast as it is these days.

sun tzu
wouldnt you like his opinion on the war of error?

boudicca
same reason, with added fooling around potential(she would totally be sitting next to me).

sheila jeffries
i'd like a feminist to help get boudicca up to speed, and it
may as well be a radical one.(dworkin was on my mind, but i can imagine her being crap at parties. at least sheila might get loaded on tequila and play twister) there is also massive potential for this to backfire hilariously when i make my move on ms. icenii.

arthur koessler
i love his work and i'm sure he'd have the anecdotes.

i'd prolly bring a platonic date.
maybe my mate lauren, sitting between sun and pythagoras.(she's great at maths and a good conversationalist)

17:26 / 21.05.04

Dude, if you tried anything with Boudicca she'd rip your face off .

Iceberg Slim on Racontrage,
Alexander the Great on Drinking Songs,
Stewart Menzies on Political Discussion,
Calamity Jane, also on Drinking Songs,
Musashi on Teaching Qalyn More About Kicking Ass,
Jennifer Coolidge on... well, I was going to say on my lap, but I'd prolly end up on hers,
Anna de Logardierre on Wonderfulness
My grandfather

17:41 / 21.05.04

Dude, if you tried anything with Boudicca she'd rip your face off .

hey, so i'm kinky.
dont you oppress me!

19:21 / 21.05.04

Oh, I know!

George W. Bush
Nicholas Cage
Adolph Hitler
Jessica Simpson
Robin Williams
My 7th grade Earth Sciences teacher, who had a leaky colostomy bag
LaToya Jackson
Ivan the Terrible

And I would give my place to my least favorite cousin, because she deserves to sit through dinner with that mess. Or maybe Paul McCartney.

19:39 / 21.05.04

Noam Chomsky
Howard Zinn
Greg Palast
Edward Said
Isabel Allende
Joe Hill
Flyboy
Henry Kissinger

It's a bring your own bat kind of evening.

Tryphena Absent

19:55 / 21.05.04

Well I'd like to thank you for not making this a list thread, for making it oh so interesting, for really trying. I find that you all warm my heart.

XXII:X:II = XXX

20:48 / 21.05.04

My invites would include:

Milla Jovovich: Because I need someone to hit on and smoke bowls with. And because she's a goddess at whose temple I wish to worship. (licks lips lasciviously)
John Lennon: Snarky wordplay, revolutionary politics, and if we're lucky he'd break out in song. Yoko not included.
Hunter S. Thompson: He'll bring a satchel of good drugs and a liver full of bile. Perhaps he can check his cannon at the door, there's a good doctor.
Bill Hicks: Because he really ought to be dining with someone right now other than the worms. Actually, he ought to be dining on flesh ripped from W's empty fucking melon, in a sane world.
Douglas Rushkoff: Which is kind of a cheat for me, since I have dined with him and consider him a friend. But I'd want him there anyway, as he'll ask all the questions I'd want to but do it so much better than I can.
John Halcyon Styn: Longtime net writer and entrepreneur, who I've been reading for years and imagine would be quite the dude with whom to do the town.
Robert Anton Wilson: who will somehow tie everyone's philosophies into a single braid and send us off with new subversive purpose. He will also bring good drugs.
Billy Corgan: Paging Mr. Corgan, your table for nine is ready...

/+,

09:30 / 22.05.04

Myra Hyndley

Richard Speck

Henry Kissinger

Jordan

Charles Ng

Cherie Blair

Oliver North

Kylie Minogue

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:50 / 22.05.04

Charles Manson
Emu (though I'd probably have to say Rod Hull, wouldn't I? Well, either/both
Alexander Pope
Pope Alexander. (well, at least I'd be able to find out the answer to THAT question, finally.)
William Burroughs.
Bill Hicks.
Osama Bagpuss because he always gets a raw deal. (Is it cheating to include one of your Sims in this list, or just sad?)
George Lucas I'm sure the rest of my guests would have the balls to tell Mr George that he's fucking with our childhoods, where I wouldn't.

Me? I'd be down the pub.

18:19 / 22.05.04

Hmm, ok...

Frank Zappa
Anais Nin
Guy Debord
Euripides
Simone de Beauvoir - unless our dinner party guests are only allowed to go to one party each

I would say my old friend Alex, just because I would love to see her again, although she'd make a terrible, terrible dinner party guest...
Byron - I know, I know, so typical, but come on, he's gonna be fun to have around
Karl Marx

I'm not sure how well any of them would actually *get on* though...

19:44 / 22.05.04

Jesus I want to see if he can make better wine than me.
Christopher Walken Doesn't matter what he says the conversation will sound amazing. He can be a crocodile... I wont mind.
Walt Disney Looking forward to the discussion of "What the fuck have they done to my company!!!"
My college documentary film teacher Just an amazingly odd person
Richard Harris His stories from his theatre days are legendary.
Jack the Ripper Just to find out who he was and perhaps he'll end the party in an exciting way.
MeThe reasons are too damn numerous to list.
YOU! What you got other plans or something?

20:48 / 22.05.04

Is it cheating to include one of your Sims in this list, or just sad?
Neither, but surely you wouldn't be able to understand what he said. And he'd keep trying to entertain you with a puppet.

Brigade du jour

03:28 / 24.05.04

John Belushi - because he'd find more inventive things to do with his dinner than eat it.

Stan Lee - although I'd run the risk of having my happy childhood fantasies punctured.

Mike Barry - my grandad who died before I was born. Mum's always saying what a laugh he was.

Sheryl Crow - because we'll need someone strumming a guitar in the background, looking cool.

Orson Welles - because I need someone to argue with about movies.

Peter Cook - because every dinner party needs a rapier wit to scythe the conversational chaff.

George W Bush - so when everyone's drunk we can all rip piss out of him and beat him up. And that.

Nigella Lawson - because I can't be arsed to cook.

11:06 / 24.05.04

Bruce Lee (he'd be the "sparkling reparté" type)
Viper (Ex U.S. Marine, ex ballet dancer, ex hooker, ex punk porn star and practicing witch- she'd have some stories to tell, and we could always get her to show us her tattoo.)
Bruce Campbell (most quotable man on Earth)
Squirrel Girl (she's got this special retractable tooth for cracking nuts)
Christina Ricci (for purposes of macking on)
Myamoto Musashi (might be a bit smelly, but he could take care of gatecrashers)
J. Krishnamurti (to stop Bruce and Musashi from fighting)
Iggy Pop (to go stark raving bugfuck and entertain us all)

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:09 / 24.05.04

Bizunth- all I have to say to you is CRESSST!!! e i zo FRENSHAY!!!

Oh fuck. I just pissed myself.

Phex: Dorset Doom

11:29 / 24.05.04

Charles Bukowski: Bitter, resentful, likes a drink. I think we'd get on.
Unicron: Planet-eating-planet from Transformers the Movie. He can eat a planet.
JT Leroy:Warhol-looking writer with some interesting stories to tell.
Joe Cardomone: Singer, Icarus Line. Serious 'I'm not gay, but-' factor.
Bacchus: 'cos there ain't no party like a Bacchanalian orgy.
Iggy Pop: And why not?
Christina Aguilera: Jenna Jameson's body with Courtney Love's morals. She's the antichrist and I fuckin' love her.
The Old Angelina Jolie:The one who liked knives and drugs and tatoos, not little-miss savestheworld.

pointless and uncalled for

13:57 / 24.05.04

I admire the bravery of those who would invite a table load of intellectual giants and major public figures. I would be far less inclined to spend a night in the company of a bunch of people who would either talk over my head or rather be somewhere else.

My 8 would be a group of people I lost touch with after college. I would be great to find out how they are doing and laugh about old times.

I would enjoy maybe one major person but more than that would just make me feel either insignificant or very stupid.

16:07 / 24.05.04

The whole idea of dinner parties makes me want to tear my own jawbone off and use it to smash a gorilla's cock into a million pieces. All that witty banter and flirting and competetive sneering over the clink of glasses and scrape of cutlery - ugh! The only place to have a conversation is the pub or the cafe. Dinner should be eaten in silence from a tray on your lap in front of the local teatime news.

But if I was forced at gunpoint to arrange one, I'd have the following:

Six of the best from the World Beard and Moustache Championship. The best being those that are likely to make the biggest mess of themselves, and who have the silliest costumes.

Dan Cruikshank. He would host the dinner from his authentic Georgian town house (he has no mod cons, he lives like An Actual Georgian Person, ie in the dark with no telly, just a gas powered radio for listening to polkas). The food would be prepared in his kitchen but dinner would take place on the street outside (tressle tables, bunting, Union Jacks etc)

Isambard Kingdom Brunel. He would engineer the dinner and be responsible for conveying the food from the kitchen to the street, and from there directly into the beardies' mouths. His commission would be to do it all in as big and as complicated a fashion as possible. The only limitation would be the materials - everything must be edible. I'm thinking soup rushing along elegant viaducts made of pastry, steam engines made of sausage, running on tracks made of pasta, sponge leviathans propelled across a sea of custard by biscuit paddles.

When not falling down his ridiculously steep, poorly lit stairs, Dan C would be turning the event into an excellent documentary for BBC2.

10:18 / 27.05.04

Susan Sontag
George Monbiot
Dalai Lama
Toni Morrison
Brian Patten
Jack Kornfeld
Pema Chodron
Keith Richards

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:21 / 27.05.04

Why those people, siobhan?

11:16 / 27.05.04

My guests would be:

Dylan Moran: Because he would light up my life. Although I would hope he wouldn’t be too in character or I might regret it. Hopefully he would just be wonderfully random and make me spit out my food every other mouthful. But then he might be shy, hard to say.

John Goodman: Because he’s a wonderful big cuddly bear of a man. And I imagine he would be funny without meaning to. And would probably tell engrossing stories.

Amy Smart: My reasons are probably fairly obvious. Because she’s a goddess, and who knows if I might get lucky?

Steve Hogarth: Because maybe he would like to be my friend?

Tori Amos: I’d make sure there was a piano there, of course. And you know, she might be interesting and stuff. And again, there’s just a small possibility that she might be up for it.

Smoothly Weaving: Because (a) He’s a great guy, (b) It would ensure the conversation never dried up, and (c) if the threesome with Tori and Amy did come off, I would need a credible witness.

Haus: To warn me if I was about to say something stupid

My late grandfather: Because I was too young to really get to know him and apparently he was a great guy.

18:17 / 27.05.04

Flyboy here's why:

Susan Sontag. I admire her work, although I haven't read Illness as Metaphor, I have read essays by her and the one in the Guardian the other day, on the American photo's of abuse, very much echoed my own thoughts.

George Monbiot. A writer who I trust and admire. I like his political sense and he has the capacity to educate and illucidate on subjects that can be quite hard work.

Dalai Lama. Well, who wouldn't want Chenrezig/Avolokitshvara at one's dinner table. Compassionate beautiful monk. I think to be able to be in his prescence at a dinner party would be joyful and well amazing.

Toni Morrison. One of my favourite writers. Song of Soloman is so rich. I would like to talk to her and Susan and think they are great women.

Brian Patten. My favourite poet and friend. If I felt intimidated by the others I would feel reassured with him there.

Jack Kornfeld. I tasted a raisin in a workshop he led and I can still remember that raisin so vividly. Imagine what the meal would taste like. Each bite savoured.

Pema Chodron. Another great wise woman. A lot of humour.

Keith Richards. Rock n' Roll man! what a great old rocker, and I love his music. I think he might lighten George up too.

19:07 / 27.05.04

Notes:

I have it on good authority that Charles Bukowski was neither especially bitter nor resentful in everyday life, but was basically an enthusiastic 15-year-old. On the inside.

And that John Goodman (at least in the early 90s) was a coke fiend. Perhaps a huggable one.

Also, serial killers make really bad dinner guests as a rule -- part of that whole "sociopathic disorder" thing. That said, the ones who were part of teams (like Charles Ng) might be OK -- you can never tell who they might find to click with.

So, now that I've let the bitchiness out and feel so much better for it, my choices:

Anna de Logardiere -- because I'm in love.

six clones of Anna de Logardiere -- because I can't get enough. Besides, the guessing games would be really fun. "Which AdL are YOU?"

Andre the Giant -- because he really loved Ox Baker's salmon cakes, I've just learned, and I'd love to make those salmon cakes for him.

22:30 / 27.05.04

I have it on good authority that John Goodman (at least in the early 90s) was a coke fiend.

I see. And you're bringing that up here...why exactly?

00:06 / 28.05.04

Well I wouldn't have done it myself, but, goddamnit, John Goodman's whole career has been predicated on the supposed fact that he's an ordinary guy, reliable and so on, the ideal bloke, so the idea of him lying there half-naked on the floor, howling at the moon in pursuit of his next self-annihilating hit... seems like adequate recommpense for his even appearing in Roseanne Barr's loathsome, patronising, blue-collar-workers-arent-we-just-snippy, )but it's all ok, show.

00:12 / 28.05.04

Yeah, I think this would have been at the apex of that show's popularity.

That post there was doubly affected by my work in the tabloid mines. Triply, actually.
1. I hear celebrity gossip alla time.
2. I work with characters who know characters.
3. I post sometimes at the end of a long day without putting much thought into it.

It's tiring, being a prophet.

So I apologize if I rained on any parades - didn't mean to, just spouting off.

05:23 / 28.05.04

He's one of my favourite actors that's all. I'm sure I can still maintain my respect for him even if the coke fiend thing is true. It's just a bit sad to learn.

[Forget Roseanne, I love John Goodman for Coen Brothers films like The Big Lebowski. Although given that, I'm not sure where the cuddly thing comes from.]

10:14 / 28.05.04

This whole thread puts me in mind of a scene from "The Comic Strip Presents", a dinner party in Hell, with Adolph Hitler, Gengis Khan, Sid Vicious (Adrian Edmonson), Oscar Wilde (Rick Mayall), and Marie Antoinette.
Genghis would punch Hitler whenever Satan wasn't looking, Marie was being all bitchy to Satan (who was in female form) until her head fell in the soup, and the following exchange was heard between Oscar and Sid.
"Hey Oscar, I like your gear!"
"Why thank you, my dear Sydney, your sartorial taste is only exceeded by my own... in everything else! EEHEEEEHEEHEEEHEEEHEEEHEEE!"
(throws dinner bun at Oscar's head) "Sod off, fruit."
Ah, good times.