Mordant C:
"Heats. Not all buildings will be able to fit on the starting line, so they'll have to race in shifts."
True. I suppose we could organise it like a motor race or marathon and have them all lined up behind each other in a massive block (with a handicap system to determine each building's position on the grid) and have them all start at the same time. But that would probably be a recipe for untold collisions 30 seconds after everyone released their brakes. Which would be cool, but would also shorten the length of the spectacle considerably. Okay, we'll have heats!
Regarding the starting line, it might be worth looking at a map of the mainland and establishing a specific start point:
Minimum distance from the northernmost point? - far enough to allow every building on the mainland to fit behind it + suitable space between them for manouvres, general comfort etc + room for organisors and their bits and bobs + gap between main block and the starting line.
(It would be really useful to know the total surface area of land that is taken up by buildings in the British mainland. Where would we get such info?)
How wide? Dunno. One method to determine this might be to take the narrowest point on the mainland and make that the *maximum* width of the start line. This way, in the - unlikely - event that the line never breaks up, no one falls off the edge. Hang on, that doesn't take sideways movement into account. Perhaps we should define a straight path of continuous width down the mainland? Depends if the buildings have steering or not. Hmmm...
MC:
"Would we need handicaps/different categories? It's not really fair to race a short squat building (say, Buckingham Palace) against one of those cool triangular buildings that sit on a hairpin bend (these being more aerodynamic)."
Definitely. The idea of categories really appeals - The Castle Derby! The Cathedral Cup! Closely followed by The Office Block Literal Steeplechase! Or you could have whole towns or cities forming teams and competing against each other. Then again, perhaps shape would be a more sensible way to do it. One thing I'm certain of is that all buildings must race in an upright position - which will be a bitch for anything that is significantly taller than it is wide, ie skyscrapers are going to be at a big disadvantage. So yes, they should certainly be a separate category.
"I vote for a long, upwardly inclined runway with a big sling at the end to catch the buildings at the end of their mad career. Smaller, lighter constuctions, however, could be fitted with wings and allowed to aim for a great big ski-jump type thing, with suitable seagoing landing pads arrayed across the channel. Bonus points could then be awarded for distance flown, with the Great Tramploine of Calais offering a cool 180."
We are definitely having that last bit! Yes. I'm half inclined to say "just let the others fall into the sea", cos that would be very satisfying to watch, and anything that survives above the surface could be made waterproof and habitable. Hmm... |
