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Alchomohol

12:28 / 15.05.04

Tonight I am drinking vodka. Soon I will be deeply asleep, before I'm ready to be, and will wake up every few hours from a peculiar dream involving aliens and throbbing stars in the night sky, if last night is anything to judge by. Vodka does this to me.

Sticking with the white spirits, gin makes me dance nude in my kitchen. Every time. Other people I know say it makes them depressed, but me? Nup. It makes me sillier than a very silly thing in a box with the words "warning, very silly inside" stamped in extremely large and bold red letters across the front. I have been known to streak around the neighbourhood in a loincloth whilst under the influence of gin. I don't drink gin very often as I have no desire to end up in jail as a pervert.

Tequila is gin x 2.

Whisky, my tipple of choice, makes me verbose and wide awake. I'll stay up all night remixing beats, finishing creative illustrations or writing endless bullshit to online forums whilst listening to previously remixed beats. I'm happy, relatively stable and coherent on the old Scotch & Coke, but I get bored with that sometimes.

I'm a mess on red wine. I get sleepy, wasted and find it difficult to walk to the kitchen to pour myself another drink... eventually. That's hardly helpful now is it? Also it gives me headaches and I feel dreadful the next morning. Spirits generally don't do that to me. If I drink red wine with lunch I'll be alseep by 3pm.

I cannot drink enough white wine to get drunk on. If I try, I just get a migraine and give up. I love a glass or two with a meal but that's it. If I push it I throw up.

Beer makes me a slobbering mess. I can't speak, stand, walk or operate heavy machinery after consuming vast quantities of beer. It does however, oddly enough, improve my pool playing if I stick to about two pints. Somewhere between finishing my first pint and starting my third I am a pool playing God.

Why do different alchomohols do different things? Why do they do different things to different people? I really want to know...

Or perhaps that's just the vodka talking.

14:47 / 15.05.04

Well, red wine and dark beers contain histamines, which could explain the sleepy.

18:15 / 15.05.04

It does however, oddly enough, improve my pool playing if I stick to about two pints.

Yep, I can also testify to that. .

19:11 / 15.05.04

You probably haven't absorbed all the alcohol in both pints at that stage; alcohol is a banned Olympic drug, because it helps eliminate rest tremor, which helps with precision hand-based sports like fencing and shooting and pool if pool was an Olympic sport.

Red wine tends to make me very chatty if I'm in company, so completely the opposite then. White wine is for girls. Tequila makes me active but I don't take my clothes off or waggle anything, and I don't drink it these days because it gives me a soul-tearing hangover. Vodka just gets me drunk, no emotional effect at all, which is dull, so I don't bother most of the time.

I was talking to this bartender/owner once and he was telling me the best psychoactive booze he knew was something called pisco. Apparently it gets people happy, lively, cheerful - he was saying he always took a bottle to parties. I keep looking for the stuff whenever I go past an offie that seems to have a wide selection, but I never find it, and I've never met anyone else who's tried it.

20:02 / 15.05.04

Cold sake on a hot day makes me cheery.

20:38 / 15.05.04

Cold sake?

I've got some Canadian ice cider (no, not Ice Dragon, this is posh) in the fridge, which I've not tried before. It's 12%. I'll let y'all know what it does to someone who's already drunk five Coronas.

00:12 / 16.05.04

FM

I just went to the liquor store down the street and purchased some pisco. It's Don Cesar Pisco Puro. I'll try it tonight when the wife gets home and let you know how happy I was.

I once drank vodka after beer and got very I'll-kick-your-ass mean.

00:20 / 16.05.04

Cold sake?

Yeah, not as good as hot, but it's really hot out today. Hot sake makes me placid.

00:59 / 16.05.04

Ooh, that'll be interesting. Shitty Pennsylvanian liquor stores don't have that sort of thing, and I've never seen it even in London.

I'm actually drinking vodka tonics rather than ice cider now, but I'm not kicking anyone's arse, not that there's anyone else's arse to kick here, and I'm not flexible enough to kick my own. I'll try the ice cider later on.

I also got some ice wine while I was in Canada, which is apparently special stuff made from the last grapes of the season or something and was hellaciously expensive, so I'm not going to guzzle it down when I'm already a bit drunk. I'll wait until I want to impress someone, I think. I don't suppose anyone can tell me what that's like, can they?

01:03 / 16.05.04

Oddly enough I saw some sake recently and I was considering buying it, but I thought "it's too hot for sake". Maybe I should try it cold.

I once had something called a "saketini". I suspect it was in some sort of so-called fusion place. I remember it being horrible. Martinis should be vodka or gin, no pissing around with fancy ingredients. (Though I did once see an espresso martini, which had a few chilled shots of espresso replacing the booze, and that looked interesting.)

01:29 / 16.05.04

An espresso martini is actually not too bad of a drink... sort of the best of both worlds. Took a sip of the ol' girl's and ended up finishing it. I'm a bourbon drinker mind you.

Now speaking of bourbon, on the rocks is how I like it. The small batch family from Jim Beam is the way to go. Basil Hayden is definitely the best, but it has a tendency to be a bit on the mellow side. If you want a party in your pants, head towards Knob Creek. And if you enjoy abusing yourself go for the Bookers... strong and peppered.

Last night I had a too much bourbon and ended up in weird parts of Philly due to some miscommunication with the cabbie. That and a little Pabst Blue Ribbon got things going in that direction. Ended up recalling my martial arts training and left my mark on various signs, phone poles, and parking meters. Too bad they won.

Tonite it looks like Shiraz to me. Special around the corner, 1.5lts for $12.

04:10 / 16.05.04

PISco

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

10:47 / 16.05.04

Is pisco like grappa?

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

12:48 / 16.05.04

Oh Grappa...me and Grappa have a long and tumultuous relationship...Grappa gives one that FLYING FEELING.

Funnily enough, I kind of get a similar feeling when I drink Absinthe.

Then there's STROH. I've only drunk it once...my cooking tutor (who was from Austria, where STROH comes from) gently broke the news to me whilst I was falling apart and devastated from a night's imbibing the shit that STROH is a fucking CAKE FLAVOURING back in the Alps. Tastes a bit like Jagermeister. Multiply the effects by 5. Strange trippy drunk.

But Vodka Martinis...oh lord, soothe me and dress me in a Flaming Dragon. That tipple certainly turns me into a Lounge Lizard with a Golden Tongue. I end up thinking I'm some kinda tattooed love boy drinkin that stuff.

Red Wine...when I was going through my Divorce, I used to advance all my pay every week into Bottles of Red Wine after work. 3 bottles a night for a year. SLOBBERING ANGRY MESS. I was always ok the next day though....

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:15 / 16.05.04

fridge: alcohol is a banned Olympic drug, because it helps eliminate rest tremor, which helps with precision hand-based sports like fencing and shooting and pool if pool was an Olympic sport.

I never knew that... but it seems to make a lot of sense. I SWEAR I'm better at pool after a couple... then more shit than ever later on.

20:22 / 16.05.04

I did enjoy the pisco. I can't negate the fact that I read good things about it before I tried it, so that may have influenced my experience. I can say I personally found it to be a very up, giggly but not stupifying, drink. No arse kicking tendencies, but no arse fondling either.

We drank pisco sours sans eggwhite.

Has my strong recommendation for parties because of a euphoric quality that lent itself to laughter filled conversation.

Aftermath was what I expected with something new, but nothing terrible.

21:02 / 16.05.04

Right, I shall have to find some way of getting some now.

03:04 / 17.05.04

I never really notice any difference in my actions as a result of different kinds of alcohol... in medium quantities it all makes me talkative and makes me want to go out dancing...

I do know though that if I'm only mildly drunk, a shot of tequila will always push me over the edge, and I will be able to feel it doing so. Mmmm... tequila...

15:39 / 17.05.04

I have no idea why it should be but vodka turns me proper miserable, like full on major depressive drunk where nothing is worthwhile and all I have to look forward to is my own death. Which is why I no longer drink vodka.
Beer is my standard benchmark alcohol from which I judge all others.
Bourbon turns me crazy, so I now moderate my intake and use it as a way of fuelling crazy drunken nights out, though if I drink too much I still go crazy.
Gin is a king among booze, and I drink it whenever I can; it never turns me sad or weepy like it is rumoured to.
I might have to try some of this pisco stuff, I've been looking for a new party drink.

17:08 / 17.05.04

Lemonade + vodka = the shit, my Barbeloids. It's like a sexy pop drink for adults and the secretly underage.