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Tonight I am drinking vodka. Soon I will be deeply asleep, before I'm ready to be, and will wake up every few hours from a peculiar dream involving aliens and throbbing stars in the night sky, if last night is anything to judge by. Vodka does this to me.
Sticking with the white spirits, gin makes me dance nude in my kitchen. Every time. Other people I know say it makes them depressed, but me? Nup. It makes me sillier than a very silly thing in a box with the words "warning, very silly inside" stamped in extremely large and bold red letters across the front. I have been known to streak around the neighbourhood in a loincloth whilst under the influence of gin. I don't drink gin very often as I have no desire to end up in jail as a pervert.
Tequila is gin x 2.
Whisky, my tipple of choice, makes me verbose and wide awake. I'll stay up all night remixing beats, finishing creative illustrations or writing endless bullshit to online forums whilst listening to previously remixed beats. I'm happy, relatively stable and coherent on the old Scotch & Coke, but I get bored with that sometimes.
I'm a mess on red wine. I get sleepy, wasted and find it difficult to walk to the kitchen to pour myself another drink... eventually. That's hardly helpful now is it? Also it gives me headaches and I feel dreadful the next morning. Spirits generally don't do that to me. If I drink red wine with lunch I'll be alseep by 3pm.
I cannot drink enough white wine to get drunk on. If I try, I just get a migraine and give up. I love a glass or two with a meal but that's it. If I push it I throw up.
Beer makes me a slobbering mess. I can't speak, stand, walk or operate heavy machinery after consuming vast quantities of beer. It does however, oddly enough, improve my pool playing if I stick to about two pints. Somewhere between finishing my first pint and starting my third I am a pool playing God.
Why do different alchomohols do different things? Why do they do different things to different people? I really want to know...
Or perhaps that's just the vodka talking. |
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