Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

Christopher Lambert

08:35 / 28.04.04

So a friend of mine just revealed to me that he's living in the same apartment building as Christopher Lambert. I believe this provides me with wonderful new social opportunities, including, but not limited to:

*DING-DONG*
"Uh...hello?"
"Hello, Mr. Lambert."
"Who the ?!? - where's my pizza?"
"There can be only one!"

*shick-SWISH-HKK-thump-splat-thumpthumthum...*
*ZZZTT!ZAP!BOOM!CRACKKACRAKKABOOM!*

[windows of building shatter into street like jagged hail]

* * * *

Anyone got anything better?

08:56 / 28.04.04

I don't think so sine. First of all, the whole lore of Highlander was ruined by the 2nd film. The series is a different matter. Anyway, in the series with Duncan Macleod, there is an organisation of "Watchers" who record who's done what to whom etc, (similar to the Talamasca in the Mayfair witches or the librarian lot in Buffy) and one branch of the Watchers (who all have tattoos conveniently placed on their wrists) goes bad and they start beheading the immortals so that the eventual power of "the one" is lessened, but the main baddie does not receive these powers even though he secretly wants too.

If you killed Christopher Lambert I think they'd be no special effect lightning for you! There can be only one and that's him. Bow your head in shame.

(incidentally, the african bloke he meets on the bridge towards the end - who gets killed by the kurgan - is called Hugh Quarshie - became the body guard of Queen Amidala, and is now a consultant in Casualty/Holby City! whatever - and I used to live near him and he's very nice as I chatted to him in the Waitrose in Temple Fortune)

10:14 / 28.04.04

He was also in Dr Who...

10:35 / 28.04.04

Ah, fair play to him. He's brill! I saw him as Mephistopheles in Faust in Stratford too. Looks sharp in a suit and no mistake.

15:34 / 28.04.04

Don't listen to them, sine. Do it anyway. Do it anyway, sine. If you don't have a sword, I have three words for you - hit and run. Who knows, you might even get lucky and get hit by a lightning on your way out.

15:50 / 28.04.04

(pssst. do it siiiiineeee...)

16:32 / 28.04.04

Forget killing Christopher Lambert as the Highlander. What you want to do is kill Christopher Lambert as Lord Raiden God Of Lightning. Then you got yourself some serious power, but bewarned; any acting ability you may have had will vanish like the morning mists.

16:47 / 28.04.04

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just do it. And with the whole Lord of the Lightning thing, you can get lucky the same way!

16:55 / 28.04.04

Thats going to look so great on any job application...

1999 to 2004: Nightshift at McDonalds, duties included puting out grease fires and convincing fat people into ordering fries with that.
2004 to present: Lord of Lightning!, duties included being worship by guys in red robes and convincing stupid humans to fight my battles for me while sitting around going "heheheh" and turning my eyes all sparkly.

Tryphena Absent

17:41 / 28.04.04

No, no, you want to be Methos.

If you hang around Lambert enough than perhaps he will lead you to him!

17:49 / 28.04.04

When you're going down on him, quickly bite off one of his testicles and scream, "There can only be one!", and then fall to the ground making electrical noises.

18:03 / 28.04.04

OOoounnng! YOU BASTuunnnnngggghh!!!

18:03 / 28.04.04

Hey, sine: Who is it that lives in the same building? Can I go visit them?

02:15 / 29.04.04

I want to kill him as Fred from Subway...

...then I could live my dream of living in the subways of Paris with a bunch of really really shitty musicians... The subway bit would rock though...

A

02:34 / 29.04.04

I'd be more inclined to kill him if I could be sure that I wouldn't become him. Still, I think that you have a duty to kill him in the name of science, so we may finally know what will happen.

I think there's a good chance that you could become Christopher Walken if you killed him, but I hear he can stop a man's heart just by looking at him.

12:08 / 29.04.04

Blue: the friend in question is Ash, one of my London crew...I don't think you've met.

I'd be more inclined to kill him if I could be sure that I wouldn't become him.

That's why I was asking. Power, sure, I can handle the power (the nature of the power being unclear anyway, since they don't seem to get significantly tougher and they're already immortal), but I don't wouldn't want to absorb it if there were any risks...

12:12 / 29.04.04

Blue: I didn't answer "can I go visit?". The answer is yes - yes you can. We'll go together. If he gets me backed into a corner, we can pull that classic movie trick where you pretend you're seducing him, distracting him just long enough for me hold him down with my boot on his chest and decapitate him with an electric bread knife (that being the only thing handy, of course...I was disarmed and my sword flew into the fire.).

12:17 / 29.04.04

Then after I take his sword to pawn, and dance the immortal-lightning-watusi for ten minutes while the mirrors over his bed and the martinti glasses on the bar explode all over the place, we'll raid and steal his ancient, rare collection of Etruscan Snoods (obtained by killing some Etruscan Highlander supporting cast character, or maybe while he was living in Etrusca to train in Etruscan sword styles. Yeah...).

13:46 / 29.04.04

Send pictures!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:38 / 30.04.04

I have very little to add other than: this is currently my favourite thread on the whole board.

And of COURSE you should do it! Otherwise you'll never know, and it'll eat away at you bit by bit until you end up a miserable old git mumbling away incoherently to disinterested people in the old folk's home about how you nearly killed Christopher Lambert but didn't. And you'll smell of wee, probably.

13:25 / 30.04.04

You guys really belive Christopher Lambert would live in London instead of a scottish fortresslike castle, hidding from other highlanders and highlanders-wannabe who'd love to have his head off?

Send some photo-evidences that he actually lives in that building, would you?

14:32 / 30.04.04

You know, if we're just gonna go around killing off actors to get their super powers...

Anyone know where Terence Stamp lives?
The phrase "Kneel before Keggers!" is sounding better every time I use it!

14:40 / 30.04.04

I saw the front page from the newspaper from Superman with him on it, £1,500 but tempting all the same - "Whitehouse Surrenders" headline...

15:09 / 30.04.04

Send some photo-evidences that he actually lives in that building, would you?

I dunno...isn't stalking someone illegal? If he should catch me and get a restraining order, I'll lack the element of surprise...

As far as other actors go, I wouldn't dare defy the will of Zod.

16:21 / 30.04.04

Hello, pretty!