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Why is it...

penitentvandal

20:27 / 27.04.04

...that when you get caught drunk-driving, they ban you from driving and not drinking? I mean, wouldn't that make more sense? You drive around a million times in your life sober and don't have a problem, then you drive drunk and - wham! You can't drive anymore. But hey, don't worry - you can still get drunk! And walk in front of somebody else's car! And get killed!

I realised only yesterday that that doesn't make sense to me. Any suggestions?

flufeemunk effluvia

20:35 / 27.04.04

Then you would need a drinking licence!

Haha, I bet they'd make you take a test too.

An excerpt:

15) You meet a girl at a party and you both are rather intoxicated. The two of you go home together and have wild sex. The next morning, the girl says that she never consented to the sex and she was drunk.
What should you do?

A. Call her a dirty skank

B. Apologize and offer her breakfast

C. Get on the phone with a lawer IMMEDIATELY

D. Kobe!

bacon

14:26 / 28.04.04

E. Replay the videotape of her juggling your nuts while tongue swabbing your rim

and drunk driving is the best driving, nothing like a deadly weapon in the hands of someone all liquid couraged up, and i'm not being sarcastic, really, i'm not

14:46 / 28.04.04

Oh, the hilarity of drunken acquaintance rape and/or false accusations of sexual assault.
No, stop, my sides will split.

Smoothly

14:58 / 28.04.04

It's the people who manage to crash their cars while stone cold sober who I worry about.

bacon

15:21 / 28.04.04

ex, you dick, you forgot to pimp your product line

15:28 / 28.04.04

Sorry, you've lost me; am I supposed to be the covert sales agent for a brand of beer that ensures you can drive safely, pull heroically and shag consensually?

deja_vroom

15:30 / 28.04.04

I'd never drink that.

bacon

15:39 / 28.04.04

something like that'd sell itself anyway

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