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Flaws & Disfigurements

D Terminator XXXIII

13:39 / 17.04.04

I rOOl.

Yesterday, after many ill advised beers and shots I biked my way home. After a frontal pavement action-type situation, I went to have three stitches on my chin. Cuts and bruises on face, fingers, arms, legs, and I can't chew properly.

November last year, after many ill advised shots, beers and drinks, I lost my beautiful La Roche glasses and my mobile - my friend lost his credit card + jacket - and somewhere, somehow, I must have flown down some stairs, resulting in facial cuts, bruises, on the arms, the torso, the legs. Got a small scar on my knee.

June last year, after many ill advised beers, shots, I kissed concrete on my bike home. I broke a cople of teeth, bent a couple more backwards, and created an expensive debtgrave for myself, thus.

I should probably give up on drinking, but I'm stoically masochistic - it seems - and will not.

Others: Being attacked by a couple of dogs at age four, which resulted in still visible facial scars; running into a metallic construction, narrowly missing my eye, and getting a still visible scar on my brow; getting a stone thrown at my forehead, and getting a still visible scar; etc. etc.

Match me, 'lithers.

15:56 / 17.04.04

I should probably give up on drinking

Nah, just drinking and then riding a bike. Both are Very Good Things, but generally either/or works best.

Your face sounds hideous, can we have pics please?

D Terminator XXXIII

19:02 / 17.04.04

But why bother playing it safe? I don't generally think I'm dim - or too dim, is more accurate - and I reserve the right to add scars as I see fit.

I shall have to post some more pics - but stupid villaphotos won't upload my digicam experiments.

And oh, I look smashingly handsome in a weird, characteristic manner. It's as if the scars have added more expression to my face.

Am I the only scarred individual here? ...How ...odd...

19:07 / 17.04.04

A concrete floor hit me in the face once, leaving me with three smashed teeth and a chin scarring precisely where a proetective helmet strap would have been! In order for the floor to hit me in the face I did, first, have to catapult over the handlebars of my mountain bike. In order to catapult over the handlebars of my mountain bike, I had to hit a fairly sizeable obstacle in the roadway. And one of the reasons I hit the sizeable roadway obstacle was complete pissedness.

So. No. You're not alone.

19:13 / 17.04.04

I have scars on each temple- on the left side from when I punched a fair sized hole in my head by falling and hitting the corner of a bedside table when I was small, and on the right from a hemangiomic dermoid cyst removed. I have a scar above the bridge of my nose by my eyebrow from when a friend accidentally smacked me in the face during a rehearsal for a play and the nose piece of my glasses sliced me open.

There are various scars all over me from various activities- trying to give cats baths or medicine, slicing my leg open on sheet metal in my garage, and other sundry clumsy moments. The right temple scar and the eyebrow scar are the only really visible ones. I'm completely indifferent to all my scars, but I do wish that I had more interesting stories behind them.

19:15 / 17.04.04

when i was a kid i put my arms through plate glass in a screen door. my hands remained unscathed but on my way through, i cut the back of my upper right arm pretty good. my dad, who is ignorant, said i didn't need stitches. well i didn't "need" stitches, but cos i didn't get 'em, i have a pretty thick scar. it's in a really unobtrusive place though. but the interesting part of the story is that the scar is now maybe just under 4 inches long, but it used to take up my whole arm. cos my arm used to be so little! aw!

19:20 / 17.04.04

I ran full pelt into a head-height glass shelf and tore myself a flappy gash in my scalp. I was at work at the time, and actually spun off from the collision and kept running because I was in a hurry, and I only stopped when a wave of blood hit my eyes. It was quite funny and very messy, but sadly I only ended up with a measly 2p-sized scar which laughs at me every time I shave my head.

Didn't get stiches, I got 4 staples, which I took out by myself with the flat handle of a scalpel because I'm dead hard.

21:32 / 17.04.04

I too had a bike mishap, when I ran over a mouse, and have gravel embedded in my knee to this day and a deformed patella.

Scar on one finger, from a forgotten childhood cut, which remains and forecasts bad weather.

Had two front teeth kicked out but some very fine dental work has restored my legendary good looks.

I have a deviated septum also but that's hereditary.

Passports suck these days. Used to have a section for "distinguishing marks" which was fun to complete.

The Natural Way

23:19 / 17.04.04

I have a slighty puffy (used to be VERY puffy) index finger, due to the fact that I used to bite it all the time. It began when I was about 2 and stuck in my cot - I got really frustrated and started biting. HARD. Anyway, I found I kind of liked the pain and I just carried on. And on......
In the end, my finger ended up covered in a hard crust of scar tissue and I found I needed to stick it in my mouth whenever I got angry.

Later, at my second school, the biting thing became a bit of a fad. Picture it: a young runt and his friends huddled together in a circle, each of them biting a different part of their hands and smacking each other on the head and screaming "OOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNI!!!!"

Now you've got the idea.

Maybe I should report to Ganesh.

So wacky.

So zany.

Cuhraaayzy guy.

I still bite when it gets cold.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:37 / 17.04.04

I've got all manner of scars down my arms from back when I was too dumb to use either counselling or medication.

I also have a slight gap in one of my eyebrows from when I fell over and cut an artery (boy, that was spectacular! my dad fainted and everything) when I was a kid.

My favourite, though, has to be the dent in the back of my head from when I was a victim of what the US would call "friendly fire" at a Reclaim the Streets a few years back... basically, some fucker decided to have his moment of glory by chucking bricks at the coppers when a bunch of us were trying to hold a line against a horse-charge, and hadn't figured out beforehand whether he could actually throw properly. As embarrassing moments in casualty go, that's gotta rate!

Oh, and my BCG scar looks like the Ace of Spades. For which I can forgive the cruel gods anything.

23:43 / 17.04.04

I have a mark on the inside of my left elbow, where someone at a student disco put their fag out on me by accident. I also have an odd scar on my right eyebrow where I had it pierced and put in a ring that was too heavy, with the result that it gradually stretched the skin until it just fell through.

I can't remember where I heard this - I think it was someone I knew in Edinburgh - but this guy had a scar on his face which was due to him falling on a milk bottle when he was a kid. When he was asked in the pub where he got it, he'd just say "Bottle." and leave it at that. "Ah, some cunt bottled ye? Fuckin' bastard."

07:44 / 18.04.04

not unlike bedhead (above), I sustained a workplace injury, but luckily it was just the top of my head got sliced off (luckily, in that the scar is hidden in the hair - and no gags from Smoothly Weaving... I do actually have some hair)

After lunchbreak one Friday, I notice a colleague sitting in a vacant office sneakily watching Neighbours. "Aha" I thought... "I'll jump in and say BOO! (or similar... what hilarity! what japes!" So in I jumped, totally misjudging the height (and frankly the metalness) of the door-frame.

Now I'd love you to think "OMIGOD I'll bet it was just like the Ray Liotta character in Hannibal", or more recently O-Ren Ishii in KillBill... but frankly it was a disc of flesh 1 inch in diameter.

Now, whilst it really didn't hurt that much, it really REALLY bled very satisfactorily, firstly a literal geyser vertically onto the ceiling no less *beams*, then a multitude of rivulets ran down my face giving me the countenance of a demonic barcode.

Girls screamed, children wept, Gentlemen looked away etc.

I was bundled off to casualty, where the small colgate fliptop lid style flap of skin was stitched right back on, but i was heartened by a couple of things:

1) lots of people had had a realy good look, so I was rocking the sympathy stakes for days (for what was, let us not forget, basically a dumn prank)

2) when I came back to work the following Monday, the blood was gone from the ceilingtiles AND the carpet tiles. But I did notice, stuck right in the centre of the doorframe, a small hairy gobbet of meat.

NICE

12:03 / 18.04.04

That detail about the flesh stuck to the door frame, Bleuurrgh.
I for some reason scar very easily, and thus am covered with the bloody things. I have horribly scarred knuckles, which aren't from the manly arts of self defence, but from when I fell off my bike at the age of 7 or so. I have scars all over my upper arms from a very dark period in my life, and also because I used to be a champion pie eater. However thankfully most of them are hidden away and therefore don't attract much attention.
The most impressive scar I ever saw was from a friend of mine who fell out of a tree impaling his leg on a branch. It was great, he used to get it out a parties and show off.

12:35 / 18.04.04

I can confirm that Rufus does have some hair, and in a fortunate arrangement for the purposes of concealing a scar on the top of his head: He's bald from ear-tops to crown, like a reverse tonsure.

I have a faint, jagged scar on my forehead from the time my brother heft me off my tricycle and into a wall. A bit like Harry Potter, it becomes more visible when my arch-nemesis - Puzzlement - is near.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

13:29 / 18.04.04

Like a lot of people I grew up with, I have scars on my arms and chest from a numb period of my life. Also I have four parallel lines down the center of my chest from when my brother scared a cat I was holding.

Most impressive scar I've seen: a woman I work with brought her dad to work one day, who had a huge jagged scar on his cheek and jaw. I asked her where he got it and she said when he was just an infant the Turk who killed his parents hung him on a hook. Through his jaw. Like a fish. I don't know whether I should believe her or not.

13:31 / 18.04.04

yes, sometimes scarring can be hot, add character and all that.

I tend to date boys who get messed up. like my daughter's father, a chef, who ended up in hospital THREE TIMES during our relationship with severe cuts on his hands. the last time he cut himself so badly that one of his fingers is pointed at the end. that's not so hot.

also, if I was seeing a boy and asked him where his scars came from and he said "drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking"...I'm faily positive I wouldn't go out with him again!

me, I scar easily, so my explanations would, for the most part, be terribly dull

D Terminator XXXIII

17:51 / 18.04.04

Well, to be fair and to remain in the vein of complete objective realism, I don't feel so hot. Right now. Where I, moments ago, had to go about the painstakingly ardous task of eating spaghetti. And yesterday. Where I could hardly eat. And the night of the 'accident'. Where I wept and wept and wept, and kept on weeping. That's right. I wept. I don't sound so masculine, now do I? But I just abhor the sight of blood, and there was a lot of it, and I astoundingly detest having surgery perfomed on my face, after a lifetime of corrective surgery performed almost exclusively on my face. And you should see my jacket now, it resemles a soaked in stand in for a particularly gruesome and bloody horror movie. But at least, I've never broken a bone in my whole body.

Perhaps I should place my thumb and index finger on my chin, right on the three stitches, and portentously gaze into empty space, while I declare: "...But, you know, at least I've never broken a bone in my entire body."

"Yet."

The Tower Always Falls

18:13 / 18.04.04

I probably have a scar on my head from when I was six and my brother and I were playing Star Wars with 2 X 4 hunks of wood with screws sticking out of them. I've never shaved my head though, so I don't know for sure.

I mostly remember being taken to the doc and they mentioned "stitches". I promptly freaked out and ran up and down the pediatrician's hallways in my underwear, after which they cornered me spitting and biting in a medical closet. They had to strap me down in one of those blue velcro body boards that they use for the total immobilization of really fucked up kids. I was sobbing most of the time, but I remember thinking "Cool! I'm a blue mummy! RAAR!"

I also have pencil lead still stuck in my right palm. Eerily enough, my girlfriend has pencil lead stuck in the exact same spot of her hand.

22:24 / 18.04.04

I like that nearly everybody has readily-visible scars from dumb situations, rather than from taking a bullet in 'Nam. It makes me feel like I belong.

One fairly deep dent in the right of my forehead from rollerskating to the front door in my aunt's house and landing head-first on a plug socket. Another just under it from getting knocked out by a cousin on a metal swing. Both of the above from when I was about eight. One scar on the left side of my head from getting dizzy then running into a brick wall, knocking myself out, sliding all the way down it and cracking my skull a second time on the patio at last year's Halloween bash. One light scar on my left cheek from being propelled into the air off a see-saw, landing on my face and skidding for three feet along the pavement, legs in the air, when I was seventeen. Another very light, triangle-flap scar on the same cheek from getting flung across an ice-skating rink by the girl of my dreams (accident, rather than as the result of obsessive stalking) when I was about fifteen. A "fucked-up" lump of bone sticking up just under the surface of the back of my right hand from breaking it four years back. Chips out of both top front teeth. Can't remember where they came from or how long they've been there.

And, like The Tower, I've also got the stuck pencil lead skin discolouring thing. In the top of my right calf - was trying to make the world's sharpest pencil when I was seven and another kid managed to nudge my elbow at just the wrong moment.

This thread'll come in dead useful if any of us end up on a missing persons list. Or wanted for some legal matter or other. Or just if anybody wants to remind us want a bunch of clumsy bastards we all are.

But still, very glad that it's not just me.

No star here laces

05:00 / 19.04.04

Scars don't go with my look. So I avoid them. Maybe if I do the "grizzled" thing in middle age I can acquire some...

16:33 / 19.04.04

I have a scar through my left eyebrow from illadvised so-called 'touch' rugby at university which left me with 8 stitches and my opponent with a cracked orbit. Nice, I think I won that clash of heads.

I have two partial front teeth from falling off my bike and biting the kerb, aged about 12. I hasten to add that they have caps on, I'm not walking around looking like some sort of low-rent vampire or nuffin.

er, thatisit. Was it worth the typing time? You decide.