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Underground > Comic Books >

Austen Makes Poopsies On New X-Men

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Yotsuba & Benjamin!

14:36 / 07.04.04

So, no surprise, Austen's latest issues of UXM & NXM, out today, which deal directly with the fallout from Morrison's run, are unbelievably bad. We've get well thought out soliloquies from a terribly out of character Logan, we've got a Scott backpedaling from the choice he made which saved reality and, worst of all, Austen has given oh so much fodder to the Ernst doubters among the general populace. In NXM, Scott and Hank suddenly realize that Cassandra Nova may have been freed in Erik's razing of the school.

So, I'm guessing they never knew Ernst's secret? Perhaps she escaped herself and enrolled herself in the school somehow? It kind of makes sense since Xorn didn't know who she really was, but you'd think someone might have noticed.

Anyway. Grim curiosity has once again cost me several minutes of my life that I will never ever be able to retrieve.

advancedplastics

14:46 / 07.04.04

that makes NO sense at all. yeah, like u said, maybe Xorn, the new guy, was kept in the dark... seems possible, even probable...
Cyclops being unaware? yeah, ok, he's been a little wacky lately, no need to burden him with this info...
Beast, I think, is just too smart and perceptive about these things to not realize what was going on. enrolling the Cassie-STUFF creature in the school as Ernst was _someone's_ idea, i'm sure that the important teachers at the school were informed. At the very least, Emma should know exactly what happened. She got Cassie to go into STUFF, she was pretty much running the school at certain points, etc. And what about Xavier??!

(..grumble...stupid Chuck Austen and his dumb shit...)

i will admit here, however, that i didnt notice that Ernst was Cassie until it was pretty much stated explicitly. i dont know why, but it never occured to me that they look similarly. i think perhaps when i first saw Ernst, her description made me think of Dorothy from the d00m patrol...? (er maybe i'm just dense

)

20:50 / 07.04.04

Of course, Austen wouldn't have raised the "where's Cassie's body?" plot unless he intended to resolve it ... so it's all but guaranteed that next issue's steaming pile is going to shatter the Cassie/Ernst connection.

Any chance the issues can be read as referring to Cassie's ORIGINAL body? The dead one last seen in #126?

-Jeph!

21:20 / 07.04.04

I will say, I like the idea that nobody except Chuck & Jean knew about Cassie/Ernst... but I strongly doubt that's the angle Austen is playing. We could be generous and say Marvel never sent him the scripts that make it OH SO OBVIOUS that Ernst = Cassie... but why be generous to a man who wastes four pages of our time with a giant robot fight? And who writes horribly stilted dialogue (With the exception of "Give me time, darling," which was the only thing in the whole issue that made me crack a smile)?

And is it just me, or did Larrocca abruptly start sucking a whole lot? (And am I the only one who thought it looked like Beast was, to use the parlance of this thread, making wee-wee on the ruins on page 4?)

Poo. It would've been nice to have been surprised with a readable comic, y'know?

advancedplastics

23:05 / 07.04.04

but I strongly doubt that's the angle Austen is playing. We could be generous and say Marvel never sent him the scripts that make it OH SO OBVIOUS that Ernst = Cassie...

doesnt marvel have editorial meetings about this stuff? i know that i read in an interview somewhere (w/ morrison & millar) that they, at least used to, have X-meetings, with all the people involved in the X-books, discussing what's going on, strategizing, etc...
(speaking of which, wtf didnt milligan er millar take over? they're both pals w/ GM, both associated w/ x-titles, far more appropriate than most ppl)
either Austen is ignoring the Ernst/Cassie thing, plain ignorant of it, or, i dunno what - saying that isn't true?
...hmmm, wasn't someone saying something about giving up monthly comix purchases? does seem like a great time...
then again, theres some r4d-azz Liefield shizzy comin up...!

23:44 / 07.04.04

I'm not even going to bother picking these up. Does it really suprise anyone that Austin isn't good?

23:54 / 07.04.04

In Austen's defense, he HAS done one thing commendable in my eyes: brought the family together.

With his single book, he brought the Juggernaut back to his brother, Havok back to his brother, brought Polaris back into the fold as well as give her a distinct family, filled in Nightcrawler's blanks, worked with the remaining originals Iceman and Angel to keep them close, and established the Guthries as a mutant filled family, ...as well as several things that I'm probably forgetting. Granted, I never read the books and thought a lot of things were clumsy, but at least he dealt with the expanse of X-family members and got rid of crap excuses why they weren't also in the books.

Now, with the books at hand... LAME. I never realized how much i hate the constant cliffhangers that the X-Books were like in the past. One book ends with Beast and Cyke under rubble, and the other with Polaris chastizing Logan's behavior? Spare us all. Still wating for that last Cuckoo's name too.

Matthew Fluxington

13:04 / 08.04.04

Marvel never sent him the scripts that make it OH SO OBVIOUS that Ernst = Cassie...

Actually, the letter column of the issue itself makes that point clear.

I've got to say, I read both of those issues and I didn't think that they were that bad. Just really mediocre. But you have to understand - I'm grading Austen on a curve. This is pretty decent stuff coming from him.

Matthew Fluxington

13:08 / 08.04.04

(speaking of which, wtf didnt milligan er millar take over? they're both pals w/ GM, both associated w/ x-titles, far more appropriate than most ppl)

They are also people who are busy writing projects of their own (Millar's got a few comics going, Milligan is busy with Human Target and X-Statix), and they may also be sensible enough not to work on the X-Men at a time when Marvel's editorial direction is questionable.

Matthew Fluxington

13:10 / 08.04.04

I never realized how much i hate the constant cliffhangers that the X-Books were like in the past.

Almost every single issue of Grant Morrison's New X-Men ended on a cliffhanger. That was one of the best things about his run!

Yotsuba & Benjamin!

13:31 / 08.04.04

I've got to say, I read both of those issues and I didn't think that they were that bad. Just really mediocre. But you have to understand - I'm grading Austen on a curve. This is pretty decent stuff coming from him.

I don't know any curve on Earth that would absolve Logan's speech. And it was, like, six or seven pages long!

The problem that I had was that entire issue spent 22 pages saying something that would have taken anyone else maybe two panels.

"Why are you burying this psychopath?"
"He deserves at least a proper burial."
"I disagree."
"Well, people tend to do that."

But all this horrifically written posturing. Ecch. Ecch-Men indeed.

Matthew Fluxington

13:53 / 08.04.04

Did you read any of the past year of Uncanny X-Men? This is pretty mature work for Austen, in comparison to his older work. Neither of these issues are particularly good, but they aren't totally embarassing. And most Austen comics are totally embarassing. If Austen can keep up this level of mediocrity and avoid fucking around with continuity too much in the future, then I don't mind him being on X-Men to keep a certain type of X-fan happy.

Matthew Fluxington

13:57 / 08.04.04

The problem that I had was that entire issue spent 22 pages saying something that would have taken anyone else maybe two panels.

To be fair, Austen's job here is to tread water and set things in place for May's X-Comics - not much has to really happen in these issues, that's not really the point. These are meant to be stopgap issues which fill in some blanks between Grant's storyline and the beginning of the Whedon and Claremont's runs.

14:15 / 08.04.04

Almost every single issue of Grant Morrison's New X-Men ended on a cliffhanger. That was one of the best things about his run!

The difference is that each of GM's issues had a SOLID story therein. Neither of these issues had anything that felt like an episode. It was just leadin for whatever was supposed to come next. It felt flat and gray. And I never read Uncanny for the past few years, so I'm being plain-old judgmental.

Spyder Todd 2008

14:19 / 08.04.04

My biggest problem with this crap was where Wolverine ripped the giant Magneto statue in two (uh... how? seriously? his claws aren't going to do that, and this statue was made out of something that killed 16 million people! There's noooo way it's hallow on the inside!) And the bit where it was really hard to tell that Toad was on crutches. That sucked. And why the hell did Nick Fury look to be 30? Did no one else read "Fury"?!? Goddamn it!

And over in NXM... umm... why didn't the Cuckoos just turn off the crowd? Because they've done things like that before. Oh, how about the random giant robot? And where were all the other students? All I saw were the Cuckoos.

Matthew Fluxington

14:35 / 08.04.04

Aside from a few errors, Larocca's art on both issues was pretty solid. It's too bad they never had him work on the book when Grant was on it - it would have been a nice fit.

The Science Dad

14:57 / 08.04.04

The best thing about NXM 155 was the letters page:

Cassie IS Ernst;

Appolyon ISN'T Fantomex!! So who is he? Xavier??

With regard to the idea of editorial commuication between X-writers, I was amused to read a interview with Claremont last week in which he revealed his plan to pick up Captain Britain, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Austen is already fucking with the character over in Avengers....

Matthew Fluxington

15:45 / 08.04.04

I don't think Appolyon needs to be anyone. If he's not Fantomex, then it's just as well if he's just a U-Man.

16:55 / 08.04.04

I flipped through these quickly in the store yesterday. Austen really seems to have been deeply offended by Morrison's having Scott and Emma kissing next to Jean's grave--in fact expressing that, and generally stepping on bits of Morrison's run he didn't like, seems to be the only reason for anything in NXM 155. Don't think I'll bother even flipping through the next one.

Yotsuba & Benjamin!

16:59 / 08.04.04

I don't think Appolyon needs to be anyone. If he's not Fantomex, then it's just as well if he's just a U-Man.

Yeah, I always figured the final E.V.A. scene could just as easily be read as her longing to connect with another person/thing/weapon again. A nice prelude to the hot, death-throe Guy On Machine boning that was about to take place off-panel.

12:18 / 10.04.04

Fury is not in continuity, for those who care, Spyder.

Apollyon isn't Fantomex? Hum...

That's quite interesting.

12:50 / 10.04.04

i think apollyon's just an example of how one can get obsessed with the quest for 'perfection'.just a slaveboy begging for someone else to fix him.took a wrong turn and followed it to the grisly end.i'll say this,when he screams out 'perfected' he certainly don't look to hot.so who is he?nearly everyone at some point.if it all fit together all neat and tidy,it wouldn't be a grant morrison story,it'd be ikea.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

14:38 / 10.04.04

Matthew Fluxington Marvel never sent him the scripts that make it OH SO OBVIOUS that Ernst = Cassie...

Actually, the letter column of the issue itself makes that point clear.

Well, I'm not reading any more, but even though comics have a 'writer here, right now' philosophy if Austen is ignoring the whole point of Jeans sacrifice at the end of Morrison's run, or hasn't been told that Cassie isn't Ernst then frankly, the editor isn't doing his or her job.

13:48 / 15.04.04

kid entropy's point is well taken, but he clearly hasn't ever really bought anything from ikea, har,har.

14:05 / 15.04.04

Actually I rescind my doubts about Apollyon=Fantomex.

All that guff about being 'completed' - he just wants his machine-baby back.

15:28 / 15.04.04

It gets worse.

According NXM #147, the name of the last Cuckoo is...

I don't want to have to type this....

"Millie"

16:22 / 15.04.04

Looks like "Mindee" to me, actually, although the scans are far from good.

http://www.milehighcomics.com/firstlook/042104/xmen156one.html

(And you mean #156, not #147.)

Hey, everyone who thought that the fifth Cuckoo was an extension of their group MIND? Well, she's named MINDee...

...God, is that a name?

-Jeph!
I LOVE YOU CHUCK AUSTEN

17:11 / 15.04.04

Sorry, you're right.

But Mindee is worse. The other names read like old-money bluebloods (not unlike Emma herself)

Mindee sounds like a California mall rat who always tacks "with two e's" on the end when she introduces herself.

Ah well, I wasn't going to buy it anyway....

17:57 / 15.04.04

Looks to me like they purposefully tried to erase that part of the dialogue.

MINDEE? Christ.
It's like he HATES the franchise. That, or Morrison. Or anything seemingly intelligent, and poor "Mindee" pays the price. So that's MECPS? or somebody help me out wth the numbering...

18:04 / 15.04.04

We need to get every copy of this book and attack it with Tippex so that the name reads Daphne.

18:07 / 15.04.04

"Melinda" wouldn't have been so bad... "Daphne" woulda been better, for those of ya'll in the humor camps, but I wanted an "I" name... wah wah wah

Like Ione, or Irené...

19:18 / 21.04.04

So, NXM #156 hits stores today...

Has anyone picked it up? What, oh what, was the riveting conclusion of Austen's "hey, where's Cassandra Nova's body anyway?" storyline?

-Jeph!
Pffft. "Mindee."

Yotsuba & Benjamin!

19:48 / 21.04.04

Yeah, I used to feel a little bit bad about the shit that gets piled on Chuck but for some reason, the whole Mindee thing now makes me want to actively go to conventions and heckle him. So fucking awful.

The whole Cassie thing? Looks like it was just an excuse to get them underground because they don't mention it again this issue. But fear not, there's plenty of awful terrible dialogue to be read. Hey, after you just gave into a mob rage and killed someone, "intend" would definitely be the word you'd choose, right? As in, "Oh no, I didn't intend to --" "I did."

OH SWEET JESUS THIS WAS SO GODDAMNED TERRIBLE.

14:03 / 22.04.04

i read NXM 156 in the store yesterday, and good Christ if i thought putting out my eyes with hot pokers would get it out of my head, i would do it.

Austen really, really doesn't like Scott and Emma. really. Hank rips into Scott about betraying Jean, and "Mindee" (*gag* - I think I'll just call her "Number 5") does likewise. Scott decides to finally give in and rebuild the school again (which. he. already. did. in. 154.), but also closes out the issue moping at Jean's graveside, apologizing for dishonoring her, and saying that he's waiting for her to come back. the whole point of GM's entire run in many ways is that he needs to stop doing that.

by FUCK, Austen, you've managed to crap all over all the hard-won character growth GM built into Scott in two freaking issues and turned him back into the simpering jackass pining away for his dead high school sweetheart he had been for waaaaay too long before that.

between this and Austen's so-bad-it's-downright-frightening Action Comics issue (which, actually, is just kind of frightening to begin with), i want to take a shit in his Cheerios. someone tell me where he eats breakfast and i'll make sure i have a big one brewing by the time i get there.

14:17 / 22.04.04

>> OH SWEET JESUS THIS WAS SO GODDAMNED TERRIBLE.

That pretty much says it all.

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