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So, I think its safe to say that Im tired of my own bullcrap

 
 
agvvv
10:23 / 05.04.04
Yes. I am a lousy armchair magician. Or rather, I have slowly evolved into one, and I find it rather sad. It can be said to be a motivation problem. The thing is, things have worked out pretty good for me lately, especially regarding my last "serious working". One year ago. I have gotten lazy.

So, slap my pinkish ass real bad. Ever been through anything like this, care to point me in the right direction?
 
 
gravitybitch
14:24 / 05.04.04
[roars] "Pinkish? PINKISH?? WHY IS YOUR ASS PINKISH? ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE FREAKS WHO GO FOR AN ALL-OVER TAN?? OR DID YOU LET SOMEBODY ELSE SLAP THOSE CHUBBY LITTLE CHEEKS BEFORE ME??" [/roars]

Sorry, hon, you'll have to slap yourself around... I've been through a bit of a slow period this past winter, myself; did a bunch of journaling about needing "caffeine for my ambition and viagra for my discipline" which sems to have helped a little.

There's a couple of ways to look at this period. One is that you took a break after a big push, and it's just time to start moving again... Another is that this may have been a bit of "backlash" to success - not in a bad way, but that you needed to process that magic works and that there are costs and responsibilities that go along with the power, and it's time to assess what you want next and how much of what sort of work you want to do for it... Oh, wait, that's me again.

If you want a push, I'd suggest finding a new topic to read about, having some face-to-face conversations with other folks on the subject if at all possible, and starting a daily discipline of some sort - meditation if you haven't been, some sort of energy work if you've been meditating, whatever is one small step past what you've been doing.

AFTER ALL, WE CAN'T HAVE YOU STRAINING THOSE SOFT LITTLE PSYCHIC MUSCLES OF YOURS, CAN WE????
 
 
agvvv
15:05 / 05.04.04
About the pinkish thing.. Lets not go there..


Anyways. Face to face conversation is not possible due to surroundings that are so small they make me wanna play with my Playmo-men again. And self-discipline, well.. I`ve heard about it.. seriously though, what kind of "energy work" would you recommend?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
15:38 / 05.04.04
I find it's helpful to term myself a "theoretician", rather than a "lazy slob". It's all work, dude.
 
 
EvskiG
16:05 / 05.04.04
As far as "energy work" goes, a good simple routine is the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram or LBRP. It's easy to find LBRP instructions online, or in any basic book on ceremonial magic.

On the other hand, you can just say that your study of theory is actually the practice of jnana yoga.
 
 
agvvv
16:32 / 05.04.04
Actually Qualyn, that sounds rather nice.. "The Theoretician".. any idea for a tagline?
 
 
Seth
17:51 / 05.04.04
In my experience there's certainly something to be said for extended fallow periods. It's natural to go through intense times and quieter times, according to the direction your life is headed. Enjoy whatever it is that's happening and notice what's going on internally. You'll probably be processing your experience at a deeper level.
 
 
sine
20:37 / 05.04.04
Hey Adrian,

I know exactly how you feel. I myself went on an extended "sabbatical" from magick a few years back, mostly out of concerns about how it might be affecting my overall "progress". My reasoning at the time was that magick, ultimately, was reinforcing my ego will, and thus driving me to ever increasing desire (and this was bad). It lasted about five years, and even when I emerged, the inner conflict I was having over whether or not my 'work was good for me led me into acting the 'Theoretician'. In the absence of practice, my will got pretty flabby pretty fast.

My recommendation? Take some time out from your day-to-day schedule, think about the 'why' of your magick. Recall your early days with the Art, when is was still magical. Then plan out a really big, ambitious 'working to reclaim your Will. Fight for it. Worked for me.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
06:54 / 06.04.04
"Theoretician" is good. Think of yourself as a scientist: world-shaking inspiration happens rarely, and the rest of the time you are either doing the math on the last inspiration or incubating for the next one. Meditate work on your dream recall/control or study an esoteric system (I'm working on my runes right now) or chat with yourself in a journal about theoretical aspects. Or do nothing at all for now and wait for an urge to show up.
 
 
blukachina
09:08 / 06.04.04
Hi Adrian, I am new here and I greatly relate to what you are going through. I can only relate something which happened to me. I had worked on a graphic novel and received some encouraging interest from an editor of the publisher I was aiming for. This was a tumultuous time in my life and as I got closer to the end of the script I began to question my desire to do this. Mainly because I was so exhausted from working constantly and then working on this incredibly research laden juggernaut of a story. The difficuly was increasing every day. Then somebody stole 2 years worth of journals and sketch books which contained All of the story as well as all of the research. So I suppose the universe decided to answer my question of motivation. I am now half way finished with the re-write as well as the character designs and truly believe I have managed to add an emotional depth with a vital energy to the script that it's precussor did not have.

Intention is everything. If you decide to take time off, do so and reflect on your needs and motivations and when you are in motion remain focused. And if a negative stumbling block arrives turn it into your friend because you may be the one who sent it.
 
 
agvvv
14:39 / 06.04.04
Thanks everyone.. and welcome to the `lith blukachina(you`ll find some drinks etc. underneath "Gathering", help yourself). I think I`ll try your working sine.. its going to be the most glamorous working known to man I tell ya.. Adrian Reloaded; cheesy as hell.
 
 
Z. deScathach
03:03 / 07.04.04
When I first got into magick, I was a ceremonialist, but was terribly lazy. The whole thing seemed overwhelming. I would look at all of the things that I should be doing and wasn't, and would kick myself repeatedly, (pink cheeks?). What I realized was that I was a person that needed to change my approach to the practice of magick. I started to do a few simple thngs along the line of Liber MMM,(Liber Null and Psychonaut), things that I would just do at any given time in the day. I didn't make out a schedule. I didn't say, "I must get X and Y and Z done by such and such" . What I did.... I would just do at the drop of a hat. It would occur to me to do some real time visualizing, and I would just do it. I'd meditate anywhere at any time.... on the bus, in my livingroom. I wouldn't think about it, I wouldn't schedule it. I would just do it. All of a sudden, I found myself doing a ton more work than I previously was, and getting better results. Not only that, it was fun rather than being such a chore. All of the magickal exercising that I was doing was strengthening my will, and it started to get easier and easier, (if not rather strange at times). I started to learn more difficult exercises, also done pretty much at the drop of a hat. Training everyday produced new experiences, out of which came other exercises. Over time, I began to get more structured with it. It just came naturally. What I found out by this was that I was a person who does best by just doing rather than planning. Whenever I find myself "trying", I simply go back to just "doing". It has become so natural that it isn't a strain, and looking back at it, once I started doing things that way, it ceased to become one.
 
 
blukachina
20:06 / 07.04.04
Hi Adrian, Thanks for the warm welcome. Never lose touch with the thrill that comes from the infinite potentiality inhernt in the moment.. It has been a long days night and a day, so I believe that drink is in order now. Be well.
 
  
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