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Hey, Von Kobra Triumphant! (PICS)

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15:12 / 03.04.04

I`ll get you some ho`s all wrapped up in Denim for it.. What do you say? Have to be there by monday..

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

16:40 / 03.04.04

ICE COLD RUSSIAN BLONDE MAFIA THUG WIVES WITH DEAD EYES.

Yes.

Yes, I think we can detour a little.

I'll be wanting some EXTREMELY FLEXIBLE YET STRONG straps and 3 LOBSTERS.

17:43 / 03.04.04

Ahhh.. thats quite all right(all night).. When will we be leaving then, shall we invite some of the other `lithers maybe?

Haus of Mystery

18:04 / 03.04.04

Don't bother inviting me. I shall be shelling you from the beach-head you heathen swine.

19:40 / 03.04.04

Oh well then.. you wont be seeing Von Kobra dancing around in a Denim thong then..

20:24 / 03.04.04

I was just in St Petersburg this afternoon, actually. I have to leave the country pretty quickly, though, so I'm afraid I won't be able to meet up with you guys.

20:59 / 03.04.04

...'I was just in St Petersburg this afternoon'
...'I have to leave the country pretty quickly'

I told you that dead letter box was under surveillance! I told you they picked up Silent Dormouse and got him to talk. I told you once if I told you a hundred times that the F.U.N. operation in St. Petersburg was compromised.

But do you listen to me? Of course not. *sigh* I guess we're going to have to mobilise the extraction team. Again. This is all coming out of your year-end bonus, I hope you realise?

Haus of Mystery

21:48 / 03.04.04

Communist nazi's spotted off the shores of Barbelith. Commence shelling at once.
God be with you men.

22:15 / 03.04.04

I'll be wanting some EXTREMELY FLEXIBLE YET STRONG straps and 3 LOBSTERS.

I'm very worried about those Lobsters.............I might be down for coming with you but only if the boat actually gets there.......

I mean : it's not like GTA3 is it where you get so far and then there's stuff in the water that stops you from going any further? I wanna know that if i'm going, it's for real. No level boundaries or anything.

No borders or boundaries, rules or controls, i know your out there, i'm gonna put down this phone and then i'm gonna show these people what you don-..........stop it Neo.

No. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna show these peop- STOP IT!!!

AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

00:28 / 04.04.04

Now look. I achieved all the objectives in this year's development plan, so I'll be most put out if the bonus situation is affected.

Besides, I had to identify Crayfish from decidedly sketchy information ("he's Russian") and what's more I only had a biro available, which I think is Displaying Adaptibility, #4 in the department's official value list.

10:11 / 04.04.04

Sketchy Information? Objectives? Crayfish?? Biro??? Oh sweet Harry S. Truman, hang on...

...yes, it's as I thought. You forgot the other two envelopes! Mission briefings come in three envelopes now! I'd ask if you didn't read the memo that went round, but it's still in your pigeon-hole. Together with about 128 other items of mail! What exactly do you do all day in HQ? Oogle the secretaries? Practise tai-chi? Drink ten mugs of tea an hour???

The extraction team's going to arrive at 03:00. Three o'clock in the morning. That's when the big hand's on the twelve and the little hand's on the three and the sun's still in bed. Be on the beach by the ice-cream kiosk that never has any ice-cream. The passphrase is "Do you have my three lobsters?".

Just wait until they get you home...

PS: Displaying 'Adaptibility' is indeed #4 on the Departmental Value List. Unfortunately, 'Attention to detail', 'Completing Missions Successfully' & 'Correct Spelling and Grammar' are #'s 1, 2 & 3, respectively.

11:24 / 04.04.04

Are you sure we should bring the extraction team into this Grey? I think me and Kobra could to this on our own.. I`ve played MGS all night you know.. I`m as ready as they come.. Oh, and fridgemagnet, could you leave "the message" at Mr. Brozinkis place?

11:40 / 04.04.04

While the offer is appreciated, the extraction team's already left. This operation's already been bolloxed up enough without having two extraction teams fighting over who gets to pick up fridgemagnet.

You could try and cause some kind of distraction. I was going to suggest setting fire to something, but I think all you guys need to do is surface. A denim-covered U-boat captained by von Kobra is distracting enough in itself. Payment at the usual freelance rates: $0.25 per word, $20 for every shell fired and a box of assorted crustaceans for the Kapitän there.

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

15:25 / 05.04.04

Briefcase Nukes

Whole Beluga

Isotope Rods

Hairy Siberian Girls

Fur Hats

Ilyushins

Baba Yaga On A Stick

I'll meet you in the lobby.

I will be wearing 365 Iron Crosses.

We will proceed, unobtrusively, in my Panzer to the WAR MEMORIAL where briefcases can be EXCHANGED.

15:31 / 05.04.04

War memorial?! No.. didnt we agree on.. you know.. "the place"..?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:57 / 05.04.04

'THE PLACE' WOULD BE BAD.

TAKE IT FROM ME.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:58 / 05.04.04

THE LITH NEVER LETS GO.

REMEMBER THAT.

16:17 / 05.04.04

Are you talking `bout the space or "the space", or simlpy the space? Cause I thought the space were safe nowdays..

16:19 / 05.04.04

'The Place'? Oh for crying out loud...organising a covert operation with this bunch is like trying to get a herd of cats marching in one direction.

Look, fridgemagnet is going to wait by the ice-cream stand that never has any ice-cream. He will be there at 3am, at which point our extraction team will pluck him off the shore like a $5 hooker plucks a hair from her upper lip.

All you two need to do is cause a distraction. Take care of your business quickly and make with the distracting already! I don't care if you blow up half of St. Petersburg or march down their main street in nothing but sparkly dust and a feather duster. Just bloody well distract them!

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

16:19 / 05.04.04

CARELESS TALK COSTS 'LITHS.

PREPARE POISON - TIPPED FONDUE FORKS.

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

16:22 / 05.04.04

Hmmm

Sparkly Dust...

* starts coating self in Maple Syrup *

16:29 / 05.04.04

*sigh*

...look, if you want to emulate Ewan McGregor in Velvet Goldmine, do it in your own time. Or at least in your own submarine, which is hopefully speeding towards the Russian coast as we speak. You've got 22 knots of speed in that tub, get moving!

16:30 / 05.04.04

So now youre Von Kobra "Rising" eh? How the hell am I supposed to work with you when you keep changing your freakin codename.. from now on youre just 47 to me..

16:34 / 05.04.04

Grey.. I think we need a fourth man on this thing.. can you get us one?

16:37 / 05.04.04

Fridgemagnet counts as a fourth, does he not? I'm not too keen on expanding this, as we already have yourself, von Kobra, fridgemagnet and the 20 members of the extraction team sailing over the Baltic in a C-47 equiped with a giant grasping hand on the end of a pole. What more do you want? The Keystone Kops?

16:56 / 05.04.04

Ok then... Were going in.. I think.. Von Kobra is... ehh.. drunk..

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

12:17 / 06.04.04

DRUNK ON THE BLOOD OF VALKYRIES MEIN HERR

* peers through Denimscope *

I zink ve are ad our deztinazion...

I zee a neon vlickering cyrillic Ize Gream zign...

* Girds Loins *

12:28 / 06.04.04

What? Ize Gream sign??? Nixon's balls! You're in the wrong place! You're meant to be a distraction, not an extraction! Move somewhere up the coast and do your distracting there...preferably before someone sees you and this whole operation gets even more bolloxed up than it already is.

...I wonder if that farm is still up for sale?

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

12:34 / 06.04.04

Edrien... I zhall pe kollingk you GRAF PFISTER from now on.

I heff ur DIZTRAKTION ready:

BEWARE:CLOWNS (Non-work safe link

HELGA vill zerenade ze ENEMY mitt her dizguztingk Bavarian PUTSCH Humour.

You vill pe hendlink ze PANZERFAUST at der eggsact zame moment:

I vill call der ENEMY a bunch of POOFS and inztill AWE mitt mein PARADE DRESS:

14:51 / 06.04.04

GRAF PFISTER? And your dress.. need more colours..

14:58 / 06.04.04

I`ll second that.

21:02 / 06.04.04

I humbly offer you the services of my MG42.....and I also have many fine pastries.

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

04:46 / 07.04.04

* smears whipped cream all over Gasmask *

Gnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ulululululululululuuullllll

* composes self *

Right!! HELMSCHMIED!!!

You und GRAF PFISTER need to lay down a FIELD of FIRE around that ORPHANAGE!!!

I will set ze CHARGES at ze base of ze RUBBER FAGDORY!!!!

06:01 / 07.04.04

07:47 / 07.04.04

that one will surely come in handy toksik..

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