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Judedgement Day

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Regrettable Juvenilia

12:13 / 01.04.04

Today is Judedgement Day.

Please post in this thread if you would like to be judged.

The worthy will ascend to a loft party in Bedford, NYC.

The unworthy will be banished to a bedsit in Bedford, England.

LET THE JUDEDGING COMMENCE.

D Terminator XXXIII

12:26 / 01.04.04

Judedge my worth, O succinctly concise one.

Judedge my worth.

illmatic

12:27 / 01.04.04

Judege me, Flyboy. Will you be like Judege Dredd, and enforce a strict regime of totalitarian political correctness and hipster music choices over a dystopian future megalopolis? You could have a Lawgiver with heat seeking bullets, Zen Memetic could be Judge Death and you could fight for the future of Barbeworld.

"800 million citizens... every one of them a potential criminal.. but god help me, I love it!"

Mourne Kransky

12:28 / 01.04.04

Judedge not lest ye be judedged. Oh well, go on then.

Do I get points for inviting you round and then leaving the country?

Tryphena Absent

12:30 / 01.04.04

I am concerned.

Bear

12:33 / 01.04.04

I bought I Judge Death toy from ebay with the aim to do some death related rituals but it scared me too much so I hid it in a cupboard.

Judge Me!

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:34 / 01.04.04

dark son: So far you have committed no terrible crimez as far as I can tell - go in peace.

Illmatic: I already live in a dystopian urban metropolis. The Future Is Now (TM Grant Morrison, like The Beatles and bald men). You have been judge worthy for your astute observations, seer, and may pass.

Xoc: the points are for not noticing that on your return, everything breakable had been replaced by a poor imitation made out of sticky-back plastic. You too may pass.

Sax

12:34 / 01.04.04

Someone judge me, for Christ's sake. I'm having a fucking nightmare, here.

D Terminator XXXIII

12:39 / 01.04.04

So far you have committed no terrible crimez as far as I can tell - go in peace.

Thass most kind, Flyboy. Only if it was true...

Does my pulsing, pounding morally grey conscience complicate manners? Would an extension of my back story, some of which involves Barbelith, alter the judedgement?

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:40 / 01.04.04

Anna, tell me of your concerns so that I may judge if they are worthy or unworthy.

Bear: you will be worthy only if you face your fear. Take up the toy of Death! Peform those rituals! Stick it to the man!

Sax, I feel your pain. You crave the sweet release of oblivion. However, it will not be yours today, for you have been found to be worthy.

40%

12:41 / 01.04.04

I like sandwiches.

Bear

12:41 / 01.04.04

I will face my fear! I've been inspired...

12:43 / 01.04.04

Go on. I've won "Best in Breed" three times, I fear nothing.

("It will be a laff"? I'd rather it was a lathe. I could get spun round and have my top layer of wrongdoings taken off with a chisel to become mere swarf.)

illmatic

12:45 / 01.04.04

You used to be able to get giant Judge Death candles how cool was that, imagine that on your birthday cake.

When I say giant I only mean about a foot tall. Not life size.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:47 / 01.04.04

Exactly, Bear. EXACTLY.

Human Being: I like sandwiches too. Congratulations! Through the simple love of sandwiches you have escaped the fires and torment that might otherwise await you! Go in peace.

dark son, tell me of your past, so I may either absolve your sinns or punished you grievously for them.

D Terminator XXXIII

12:51 / 01.04.04

Well. Traffic was a bitch. And I arrived too late to save my former fictionsuit.

Which was, at the time, beyond salvation, I think.

Ninjas make great pets

12:53 / 01.04.04

Is this a -face front palms flat on the desk- kind of moment Flyboy?

Tryphena Absent

12:58 / 01.04.04

Flyboy, I am concerned because you have gone, mad, crazy, round the twist, to the planet Sedna, corporeally, certifiably, without doubt INSANE. Oh I'll be carting you of to the mental asylum where you can rock with the other crazies til the end of time. Yes, yes I will. Moooohaha.

Squaw, squaw.

Grey Area

13:37 / 01.04.04

I stand before you. The object hidden behind my back is not, I repeat not a large club with spikes on. Go on, bestow your judgement upon me. Please.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:39 / 01.04.04

Judege me, Flyboy. Go on, I dares ya!

40%

13:59 / 01.04.04

Alas, my love of sandwiches is not as simple as it would first appear.

I have....on ocassion, been known to covet another man's sandwich. Mine was cheese and marmite, and his was coronation chicken.

This has been a weight on my shoulders.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:02 / 01.04.04

I tire of this judgery. Judgement is hereby postponed.

14:10 / 01.04.04

You swine! How are we to toil and chafe under (and eventually rebel against) your relentless judedgemental juridical judedgements if you toddle off?

Weigh my worth, you blighter!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:12 / 01.04.04

Are we gonna have to send some Garth Ennis version of an avenging angel with a soul to kick Flyboy's head in?

Please, no.

It took long enough last time.

NEVER AGAIN, I tell 'ee!

Spatula Clarke

14:17 / 01.04.04

Flyboy: your judging has been judged and found wanting. Poor show, old boy. Poor show.

40%

14:58 / 01.04.04

YEAH!

Mourne Kransky

15:45 / 01.04.04

He's just being morally grey again. Maybe someone else (of a more violent shade of morality) could don the onerous mantle of Barbelith judedger? We need a Supreme Archon. Solicitous Genitals? Master of the Trolls? Lord No-Chance-llor? Torquemada has the ficsuit for it.

Mourne Kransky

15:46 / 01.04.04

And Ma'at was the embodiment of justice in Ancient Judgment. So many candidates...

gingerbop

16:07 / 01.04.04

Flyboy was a shit judge anyway. He let a man through; a man who eats cheese and marmite sandwiches? What is wrong with you?

I think this calls for a judge who is harsh on occasion, but always fair. And doesn't make me share my hard-earned afterlife with a bad-sandwich eater.

luke hugh

18:41 / 01.04.04

who now will judge those who wish to be the new judge.uhh it's all going to pot.

Mourne Kransky

19:02 / 01.04.04

Well, gingerbop shows promise as our own Judedge Judy. Not that I'm biased towards redheads.

And a judedge should be certain about stuff and opinionated. The younger people are, the more certain they are about stuff, before life's wasp stings of saddening wisdom adulterate them with experiential rethinks.

I can't understand the indignation about cheese and Marmite sandwiches though. Sounds like the perfect combination, assuming it was a mild Cheddar or perhaps some Wensleydale.

_pin

19:11 / 01.04.04

It's got marmite in it. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Do me next!

Mourne Kransky

19:32 / 01.04.04

You have no idea how many times the vision of young _pin begging me to "do him next" has filled my old grey head. I must therefore decline to judedge him, on grounds of favouritism.

In his favour, I would remind you that this man has been targeted by the Ayatollahs in Iran. And gives good zine. Maybe I could just be the Defence Attorney, despite his hurtful remarks about lovely, lovely Marmite.

Grey Area

20:00 / 01.04.04

Marmite is divine. And it's a vegetarian friendly additive to pasta sauces when you want to give it a meaty flavour to satisfy non-veg people but have no meat in the house (or are feeding both veg and non-veg people from the same pot)

Grey Area

20:03 / 01.04.04

Why don't we invite

Judge Judy!

Celebrity judging on Barbelith! C'mon, you know you want that firm but caring touch in your life...

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