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Stupid Teens Taunted Gorilla

15:57 / 25.03.04

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/8254936.htm?template=contentModules/printstory.jsp

You've probably heard of the gorilla which was shot at the Dallas zoo last week. The 13 year old male was born at the Toronto zoo and spent his whole life in captivity. I was kind of wondering what would have caused it to go on such a rampage. Well, it two kids were throwing stuff at me, I'd probably want to rip their heads off too. I'm just upset that they didn't make a better effort to tranquilize the animal.

07:52 / 26.03.04

I'm just mad the gorilla didn't rip the kids in half and beat people with their bodies.

10:54 / 26.03.04

Little fuckers. I pray for their death.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:01 / 26.03.04

It's fucked. They capture these animals. They fuck up, so people can taunt them. The animals do waht comes naturally. And it's always the animal to blame.

Even if they do tranquilise 'em, they generally kill 'em afterwards. "Because they're dangerous".

In situations like this, I just pray for the animal to take out as many fuckers as it can before they kill it.

I'm totally with the gorilla on this one.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

14:55 / 26.03.04

I love insanely powerful primates as much as the next guy, but even so, if there's an angry gorilla running around loose attacking people I would expect the authorities to take it down before it rips someone in half or tears a child limb from limb. Ice throwing should not be punishable by dismemberment. It's a pity the tranqs weren't ready in time, but the zoo and the cops made the right decision.

What a tragedy. This is why I don't go to the zoo. I hope those kids realize what they've done and have trouble looking other primates in the eye.

15:18 / 26.03.04

I keep reading the thread as "Stupid teens taunted Godzilla". Dissapointment has set in.

15:19 / 26.03.04

I would expect the authorities to take it down before it rips someone in half or tears a child limb from limb

Not if that child provoked it, I wouldn't.
Excessive stupidty must be punished.

Lazlo Woodbine [some call me Laz]

15:25 / 26.03.04

The way to deal with people throwing stuff at zoo animals, is to allow the animal to bite their little f**king hands off.
Animals, wild or captive, are extreamly nervous beings, hense the setting up of terrotories (an area where they will be safe and at home) no matter how small, they there fore have the right to defend (as you would) their home and personal safety.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

15:28 / 26.03.04

Let nature take it's course, eh? Poke a monster in the eye and you will no doubt have to pay for it later, sure enough...

But I wouldn't say the teens were excessively stupid (excessively mean-spirited, perhaps). Their biggest mistake was assuming that the gorilla would not be able to get out. Hell, I've been guilty of that every time I've been to the zoo. I mean, you go to a zoo (or an aquarium, I suppose), you usually assume that the animals are in their cages because they can't get out, not because no one has given them reason to get up and maul someone yet.

15:29 / 26.03.04

Things could have so differently....

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

15:34 / 26.03.04

Laz might have a good idea. I once saw a woman jump past the safety barrier of the polar bear exhibit to get a better picture. She was right up next to the bars, maybe two feet from the polar bear's head (no doubt getting a beauty of a picture) when the bear reached it's paw around behind her and put the bitch in a headlock. It was awesome. He choked her a bit (using an illegal hold, I might add) and eventually released her.

I think the polar bear should be praised for showing such restraint. He taught the woman a lesson without squeezing her internal organs out of her body like toothpaste, which he was more than capable of doing.

16:01 / 26.03.04

Ice throwing should not be punishable by dismemberment.

maybe not, but when you knowthat the gorilla would not be able to get out from its imprisonment, its a bit fucked to be throwing stuff at it.
he's not in there for a crime, you know?
some people seem to see no difference; their attitude informed by a "you're fucked and i'm not, ha ha ha" style of thinking. teaching them the error of their ways seems just to me.

maybe the gorrila should be more 'zen' about the whole thing, but its probably pretty difficult to keep perspective when you have been kidnapped(after your family were probably murdered) and taken thousands of miles from your natural habitat. maybe the enclosure was an amazing example of animal architecture, but somehow i doubt it.

Morlock - groupie for hire

10:07 / 27.03.04

I don't see anyone having the right to be protected from their own maliciousness, though this doesn't mean all responsibility sits on the kids' shoulders. The Ape shouldn't have gotten out, the kids should have been mauled by their parents.

But rather more importantly, how much White Cloverine Brand Salve do you have to sell to get the Live Pony?

17:20 / 29.03.04

You had to sell 800 tins of salve to get the pony.

The internet is littered with the stories of those who tried and failed...

Most of the gifts you could get for selling 50 to 100 tins. But under a big
picture of a happy, towheaded boy in a cowboy hat petting a pony was the
magic number: 800. Sell 800 tins of salve and get a pony! While the other
kids walked to school, I could come gallivanting in on a horse. That was my
first real fantasy. Hey, I was 9.

and...

As many kids did during those days, I attempted to sell Cloverine Salve --the goal in this was to 'win a pony'. I never sold enough for that prize and now wonder just what I would have done with a pony at 505 N. Sycamore St.!

and maybe even some that succeeded...

My mother bought my product, Cloverine Salve, from an ad in The Kansas City Star for 10 cents a can. I would ride my little pony to the neighboring farmers on Saturdays and sell it for 15 cents. That's where I first learned how to sell, took care of repeat business and maybe stretched a bit on all the things it would cure," Ebby said.

18:06 / 29.03.04

I live in Dallas and have seen the sickest part of it all. Zoo attendance has soared since then. I guess everyone loves a little danger...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:38 / 29.03.04

You know what? Fuck humans. Humans suck. I've said it before and I'll say it again: let's destroy humanity and replace it with something nice.

19:35 / 29.03.04

Wee! A world ruled by hedgehogs!!!

19:50 / 29.03.04

Let's get this straight. If you sold enough Cloverine Salve, you could get a rifle? Presumably this would come in handy when defending your Cloverine Salve turf from other prospective saleskids.

23:28 / 29.03.04

Ice throwing should not be punishable by dismemberment.

If dismemberment were the case, I would have been one dead preteen far away from getting a new best friend. The ones you hit with a bag of ice in the neck become lifelong buddies after an apology and a Sega Genesis session, but I digress...

This reminds me of another friend (and previous 'lither) who told me of some primate trouble he had at the Phila Zoo. He too (when he was a youngin' mind you) was tossing things, but this was a cigarette butt at a baby chimp. He got his though... after the chimp saw what it was, it started yelling out at him. Then the rest of the bunch went up to the bars and chided him severely as well. He ran off.

Years later he went back to the zoo to visit the new primate center and came across the same bunch of chimps. Wouldn't you know it, they remembered him and started yelling at him again. One must be careful of creating enemies in the primate world.

01:56 / 30.03.04

Damn... if you were selling Wolverine Salve, I'd have bought you the pony. I hear the tin opens with a satisfying snikt!

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

14:43 / 30.03.04

A woman at the hostel Im staying at works at the St. Louis zoo and she said everybody is still very confused about exactly how the gorilla escaped. She also said that from the reports she read, that particular zoo had better security than the one she worked at (despite the fact that the St. Louis zoo is the second best funded zoo in the country thanks to their world famous lemur expert), so everybody is a bit nervous there.