Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
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And now for something completely different; brain gnawing zombies

agvvv

15:42 / 23.03.04

I have to get out of this town. Zombies are taking over, y`know? Same faces everyday. The educational system is some sort of black hole, sucking away my last grain of intellect. The zombies will only respond to the word "Volvo"(sometimes "car", but dont count on it). The only good thing I have going is my girlfriend(miraculously saved from the brain-gnawing zombies!) I have no money, and we have to get out of here. It could have been a great splatter movie, but it isnt..

So, have you ever been a "lost youth"(I know, I know..), and more importantly, what the hell did you do?

Automatic

15:53 / 23.03.04

Slowly and gradually conform.

Inevitably..

Jack Fear

15:59 / 23.03.04

Try actually engaging with some of the zombies, instead of objectifying them as a collective entity: you might be surprised to discover that each them is, just like you, an individual, with a story to tell.

Beware, though--this approach may sap your zombie-killing spirit, just as happened to Jim in 28 Days Later.

Probably safer for you to remain at a remove, secure in the knowledge that none of "them" could possibly ever understand you, beautiful and unique snowflake that you are. Beautiful, unique, and precious.

Oh, yes, oh so fucking precious.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:01 / 23.03.04

What did I do? Gradually assembled a circle of non-zombie mates. Leared enough zombie to pass when I need to. Realised that beneath their zombiedom, there's usually still a tiny spark of life that can be awakened for a minute or to.

Most importantly: accept that the zombies are always going to be zombies and you can't change them, so you have to either adopt zombiedom yourself or get used to being a bit of a freak.

agvvv

16:02 / 23.03.04

The zombies are my friends, Jack. And no, I am the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.. yeah?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:05 / 23.03.04

And Jack: Sure, engaging with people would be the ideal, but theres this whole part, right, where a lot of people don't want to engage with you.

They want to yell at you out of vans, sneer at your clothes in the supermarket, turn you down for jobs, put your friends in hospital and beat up your kids. They don't want you unnerstaaaad them. They don't want you to feel their pain, they just want you to feel pain.

Jack Fear

16:17 / 23.03.04

And yet if the Hun were to come blitzing through your town, you would be out in the street with "them," fighting side-by-side, no?

I mean, there are others, and then there are Others. For all that you (and "they") might insist otherwise, you've got more important similarities with "them" than differences.

Learn from me the Two Noble Truths of Alienation:

(1) The Man, too, has his own Man to oppress him, with whom he contends in mutual fear and loathing.

(2) You, too, are The Man to someone--whether you will it or no.

agvvv

16:25 / 23.03.04

Learn from me the Two Noble Truths of Alien nation:

(1) I am a Michelin Man

(2) With a plan

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:33 / 23.03.04

*sigh* OKay, let's try that again.

Yes, Jack, I think most of us have grasped the concept of other people having their own THEM, of which one may be a part. And I would be fighting shoulder to shoulder with THEM if we faced marauding Huns orwhatever, and I'm sure we'd bond over Hunfighting and then go on to be best mates.

However, there being no Huns about to bond with, the sense of alienation seems likely to remain.

Jack Fear

16:34 / 23.03.04

So whose fault is that?

Jack Fear

16:34 / 23.03.04

(Besides the Huns, I mean.)

agvvv

16:35 / 23.03.04

It really doesnt matter Jack, alienation doesnt change along with your perspective..

agvvv

16:37 / 23.03.04

I was refering to your Two Noble Truths of Alienation bytheway..

ibis the being

16:45 / 23.03.04

In my experience, running from zombies and even having them as your only friends is an inexorable part of college life. You're not at your particular university because you took an elaborate personality test and were matched with like-minded inviduals. My school was so jam-packed with hopeless fuckheads that I had to wonder what similar quality could possibly have led us to choose the same educational institution.

But, you go mad, you drink, you study, you graduate, and it's all over.

Jack Fear

16:55 / 23.03.04

alienation doesnt change along with your perspective..

Oh, I think you'd be surprised.

pachinko droog

17:02 / 23.03.04

The zombies are always greener on the other side of the fence.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

17:42 / 23.03.04

My advice?

Learn to play poker with the zombies, take their money and make sure they don't eat your sweet, sweet brains.

And alienation can be a good thing...write about the zombies, that always makes them feel less oppressive.

Cat Chant

17:54 / 23.03.04

Try actually engaging with some of the zombies,

Any practical tips on how to do this when, for instance, six of them are standing round you on the train, hammering on the window beside you, and alternately shouting death threats to the football team of the town you live in and shouting abuse at you for (bizarrely) wearing a woolly hat and reading that's life? Should I apologize to them for being The Man (to someone, if not to them specifically), or should I get off the fucking train and go and talk to some people who restore enough energy to me for me to get through the fucking day?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:04 / 23.03.04

Yes, I'd like some of them practical tips too! Specifically, what's the best way to engage with a gang of twenty or so zombies who come and stand outside your home every night, yelling threats and abuse and chucking rocks as part of their campaign to make you and your family "go back to where you came from" despite knowing full well there's a baby in the house, safe in the knowledge that the village bobby has gone home for the night and the nearest police station is in the next town? How should I relate to their trip, man?

Jack Fear

18:57 / 23.03.04

Ah, see, now we're into mob psychology.

Best advice in that case is to get your own mob together and kick their mob to violent bloody death.

Obviously.

...

Christ, I dunno. What do I look like, a fucking bodhisattva?

Anyway, quit moving the goalposts: we've gone from "Ooh, people just don't get me" to the fucking Kristallnacht in one swell foop...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:44 / 23.03.04

Okay, extreme examples there, perhaps, but you get the gist. Engaging: not always possible/desirable.

Now, if we can work back from rock-throwing zombies to zombies that can't talk about anything except that hunk of metal they've got stuck out in their drive and how much better/worse it is than the hunk of metal stuck in another zombie's drive, what sort of hunk of metal they would buy if they won the lottery, etc etc chiz moan drone, all will be schnoogles and light.

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:03 / 23.03.04

[Dylan Moran]
You know, I've never said this to anyone before...

But you could get a job.
[/Dylan Moran]

Less searchable M0rd4nt

20:05 / 23.03.04

agvvv

20:09 / 23.03.04

I second the "?"... ?

agvvv

20:10 / 23.03.04

Oh, and Jack.. they get me all right.. but they want to eat my brain and stuff..

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:16 / 23.03.04

Shoot em in the brains. Destroy the brain, you destroy the ghoul.

ONLY NICE THINGS

21:23 / 23.03.04

re: the "?"

It's Dylan Moran as Bernard Black, when, having won £50 back from Fran, an angelic young boy comes up to the counter with a first edition of his favourite book ever, which he loves more than anything else in the world, and producly declares that he has the princely sum of £9, that being his entire Summer's pocket money. The book, of course, costs £50. We close in on Bernard, holding in his hand the £50 note.

This will make more sense to those who have lived in Britain - the £50 note is huge and a vibrant reddish pink, and utterly unmistakable for anything else. They were not acceptable currency in most shops for ages, because people using them were suspected either of forgery or of taking the piss.

Olulabelle

21:58 / 23.03.04

[Threadrot]

This is very true. People these days are basically on the whole completely suspicious of real money, and in particular 50 pound notes.

Me: I want to pay in cash, is that alright? (Counts out £1250 in £50's)
Carpet man: Cash? (Picks up a note and peers at it suspiciously) Um...Let me check and see if we can accept that.

Accept that? Accept that? It's REAL money. Why the hell is paying in cash irregular? And honestly, do I look like I forge money in my garden shed?

[End threadrot]

Bed Head

08:45 / 24.03.04

[rot rot rot, ha ha]

He was only being difficult because you were showing off, you with your big flashy wodge of cash. Having once upon a time worked in a shop and having seen off any number of attempts to pass dodgy notes, I can honestly say you’d have to be a complete and utter idiot with no knowledge of what money looks like to accept any forgery I’ve ever seen. Forgeries usually come combined with an intimidating stare or some gruff patter. Or something. My most supercool moment ever was a bunch of ginormous skinheads trying to forcefully insist their pile of twenties was okay, and me insisting it wasn’t and I’ll be needing some real money if they were going to leave. Unfortunately, no-one was around to see me being so brave and cool.

Having sad that, I also noticed a general over-defensiveness in customers proffering fifties. “Can you accept this?”, it’s a question which so deserves a bit of teasing.

[/rot rot rot, ha ha]

agvvv

13:04 / 24.03.04

Are you sure about the brain shooting Stoatie? I heard the heart was the way to go.. since they dont like pie and all.. sick bastards.

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