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*sigh* I should have listened, now I have a broken heart *sigh*

  
 
Ground Zero
09:14 / 22.02.02
Ok here's the deal:

I have been seeing this girl for a year now. We have been very serious,cooled off, picked up,cooled off, but always remained together pretty much.
Until now.
You see, she is not of "North American Origin"- she hails from a certain post communist country that had a meltdown a few years ago.This has been the major problem between us, is my "Canadian" bloodline and customs as opposed to her "Ukey" ways.
Anyway, I just found out last night that she has to get married at the end of march to this guy she was arranged to wed.

What do I do?Should I do anything?A spell? A heatrfelt-lay-it-on-the-line talk?Or walk away?

I need help...or advice.I have 5 weeks to change the situation.Somehow.
I really do love her and I feel this is about to become a very painful experience.

Guide me please.
 
 
John Chong
09:14 / 22.02.02
First, in acient days of old, things happen when there's a strong belief by a big group of people.
You just need to get a large number of people to belief that your girl will marry you. Do this in a Faraday's cage. All the thoughts will cause ripple in the stratosphere and this will interacts with your girl's thoughts pattern and she will think of you. Hope this helps.
 
 
Ofermod
09:14 / 22.02.02
There are a lot of variables here which would effect your decision. Is she so entrenched in her culture that she wouldn't think of not marrying this guy? What are the consequences to her and her family if this wedding does not happen. Have you told her what you just told us? And finally, a la Sean Connery in Untouchables.

What are you prepared to do?

These things must all be weighed. You at least owe it to yourself (and her) to talk to her about it. Ask her how/if it can be avoided. You can do everything in your power, but it has to be consensual or you're defeated before you've begun.
And in the end, if she'd rather be with you all that is left to ask really is what are you prepared to do?

Good luck and may it play out like a cheesey romantic comedy (with you playing leading man, of course).

[ 22-02-2002: Message edited by: Ofermod ]
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
09:14 / 22.02.02
And once again...

Generally, if somebody you really, really like is MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE, that's often a hint that you may want different things out of the relationship.
 
 
Bear
09:14 / 22.02.02


[ 22-02-2002: Message edited by: bear ]
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
09:14 / 22.02.02
You say you've picked it up and cooled off a couple of times. How serious are you? Because you'd better be serious if you want her to call off something like this for you regardless of how different the values of your different cultures are. May want to think about that before kicking round some mojo.
 
 
Naked Flame
12:35 / 22.02.02
First off, may I say: ouch. sympathy on that one.

Spells aren't the answer in a situation like this one. You have to let her make the choice freely, even if she doesn't choose you. Or it'll go bad, the kind of bad that haunts you for a long time. I'd give it your best shot in terms of talking it through and making doomed romatic gestures. If you and i have anything in common in this regard (and I'll admit that's a biiiig assumption to make about anyone) you'd regret not trying far more than trying and failing, no matter how much it hurts.
 
 
higuita
13:02 / 22.02.02
I'll sail in the wake of the rental van of Cthulu on this one.
But a small part of me feels Haus has a point. I may be ill.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
13:14 / 22.02.02
I know this is probably very painful for you, GZ, but maybe you should try and make a clean break? From what you say it looks as if the relationship, although obviously precious to you, was never entirely stable. Perhaps it's time to let it go, so that you can find something more enduring.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
13:28 / 22.02.02
quote:Originally posted by The Haus of Deletia:


Generally, if somebody you really, really like is MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE, that's often a hint that you may want different things out of the relationship.


Trust me, Haus is quite right on this one.
 
 
Ganesh
14:35 / 22.02.02
S'what I was gonna say. What does she want?
 
 
Ground Zero
20:10 / 22.02.02
Her parents are very strict in the sense that they want someone to marry her ( the only way she is free from their influence) and he must be ukranian.This guy is someone that she has known her whole life and her parents want her to marry so he can come here to live.That is the whole thing.It's not that she is in love, it is a matter of immigration to this country.It would take him a year before he came here legally.My problem is I can be anything she wants but I can't change my roots.We do love each other, and the reason why it has cooled and started up is pretty much the culture thing and the influence of her family.
Honest- I'm very torn here.I wish I could spend the rest of my life with her,but alas, it does not seem possible...

Hope this sheds new light or at least makes sense...
 
 
Ganesh
20:12 / 22.02.02
Okay... what does the (semi-arranged) husband feel about it? Is it a convenience thing for him too?
 
 
Ground Zero
20:20 / 22.02.02
Good question.
I don't know him...she tells me it is, but I am sure he is in love with her.
 
 
iratescottishgit
12:35 / 23.02.02
if you feel for her as you say you do and she returns these fellings then there can be only one answer....
you must do as you see fit, in this case anything you can do to ensure that you and the woman you love remain together.

to thine own self be true
 
  
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