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Knights Templar and their meddling ways...

benj

12:01 / 19.03.04

Yesterday was the six-hundred-and-ninetieth anniversity of the execution of Jacques de Molay, the "last" Grand Master of the Knights Templar; and yet, they continue to have influence down to the present day...

For example, who would believe that the phrase "holy guacamole" is in fact their subliminal linguistic trojan horse based upon the phrase "holy jack-de-molei" ?

Or their dumping of the corpse of Our Lord Jesus Christ into some unmarked grave in southern France - surely one of the greatest pranks ever?

So, how have those proto-Illuminati messed with you recently?

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12:24 / 19.03.04

Theres a few of them walking around in my loft, they kept me awake making noises last night.

Last week i bumped into one at about ten o clock at night and he kept pushing me around until i went back to the shop and bought him 3 Snickers chocolate bars and a can of coke. That was bang out of order, why can't they just go to the shop themselves?!

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12:28 / 19.03.04

This isn't just me either, i've heard of other people having the same type of problems. They always jump out from behind parked cars in quiet areas when they do this aswell, mostly red or yellow ford estates.

I've seen discussion forums about this type of thing, i'll post back when i get a link to one.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:58 / 19.03.04

One of them shat in the spare room the other day. Or maybe it was one of the dogs.

Hold on...

Nope, just asked the dogs. It was the fucking Templars, damn their eyes.

8===>Q: alyn

13:06 / 19.03.04

Dude, you wouldn't be talking smack about the Templars if you'd ever given youself up for lost, surrounded by a battalion of Mamlukes on the sun-blasted Persian sands, when a host of Templars crested the dunes with their horns and banners crying the grace and vengeance of the Lord. It was totally awe-inspiring and rad. I love the Knights Templar.

illmatic

13:20 / 19.03.04

Stoatie, if you shave the dogs, I think you'll find Templar tattos.

Jub

14:12 / 19.03.04

Manic Engine - I think it's a bit suspect that you just so happened to know that it was the anniversay of Jacques de Molay's death. In fact, I think this whole thread is more than a little suspect - what are you doing eh? canvasing what the hoi poloi know about the knights templar eh? why's that then? The only readon I can think is that YOUR ONE OF THEM!!

Think about it everyone - there he is "Manic Engine"... his name consists of two words and so does the "knights templar"!!!

The Knights Templar Boogie Machine

14:28 / 19.03.04

Don't know anything about these guys, never heard of them........

Jub

14:45 / 19.03.04

I think you're lying too. I can't quite put my finger on why though.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:48 / 19.03.04

I think the clue might be in the name... y'see, "Boogie Machine" is very similar in meaning to "Manic Engine"... suggesting they share the same knowledge.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

14:58 / 19.03.04

A Templar Knight gave me mono! At first I thought it was my girlfriend, but I took Illmatic's approach and shaved all her hair off looking for a Templar tatoo. It was on the palm of her hand the whole time.

Pan Paniscus

15:04 / 19.03.04

That's how you spot 'em - always be on the look out for out for the hairy palms.

8===>Q: alyn

15:09 / 19.03.04

That's werewolves and Onanists, you idiots.

Pan Paniscus

15:16 / 19.03.04

I know - that's what we call all the Templars round our way: The Wanking Werewolves. Just 'cos someone's a member of a secretive mystical order, doesn't mean they can't enjoy a good toss every now and again. Or be a werewolf.

pachinko droog

15:57 / 19.03.04

They sour the milk and hide the car keys.

No wait, that's the wee folk. Or housemates. Sorry.

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