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My understanding of combat magick is that it is usually employed against another mage. You are absolutely correct that combat magick doesn't work well in the situation that you are in, at least not in a ritual sense. One of the best things to learn, IMO, in your kind of situation, is to learn to visualize in real-time, in other words, with your eyes wide open. That way, you can draw energy for aura fortification, and to provide mental calm on the spot. In any situation where events are moving quickly, on the spot is good. You need to be able to keep your attention focussed on the situation at hand, and the only way to do that is to be able to "super-impose" your magick on your surroundings. Given a choice between going into a magickal state, and paying attention to your surroundings, you should choose paying attention to your surroundings. Mental calm is good, I'm not sure that a berserker rage would be the best thing. Those mental states where designed for persons wielding swords. Today's weaponry demands precision. Another thing that can help is to work on relaxing when possible. Relaxation helps you to build energy that can be called upon to get you through hard times. When you are in a situation where you are not in danger, release the threat from your mind. I know that it can be hard in your situation, but it can help you to get through. Magick that utilizes the manipulation of an opponents energy field usually works best when in hand to hand combat, and requires a lot of pre-training. Trust your instincts to get you through. Good luck. |
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