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Whining about your social problems

06:24 / 05.03.04

Maybe this has to do with being on happy pills for 4 years straight and going off of them about 6 months ago. Maybe it'll take a while for me to get back in the gr00ve.

See, I'm hanging out in hell and having a difficult time interacting with others. (even the hell people) Since I've never met the majority of you in real life I have no problem talking about how needy and desperate I've recently become. See, I'm calling people way too much and they're not calling me back. I feel like the entire world is ignoring me... like I've got some fucked up energy that's keeping people away from me. (I got all those demon fuckers out of my body but I *did miss them* when I put on Skinny Puppy so I called them back to play hahaha) What the hell is going on? Sure, I'm undergoing the realization that I can't rely on anyone except for myself, but this severe isolation is starting to get to me. I used to feel so wanted. Maybe I'd push a bunch of people away but there were always people that wanted to chill with me. Now it seems like everyone is making excuses to avoid seeing me (or just blowing me off entirely) and that the only people who waanna hang out with me are indie geek losers who listen to Radiohead. Do I need to go off into the mountains and not talk to anybody for 4 weeks or something?

Yes, I know I can be a stupid immature brat, but I really need some advice here. Yes, this post will be easy to take the piss on and I know I'm not always the nicest person around here... but I sweetly ask you to not be a piece of shit asshole like I so often am. Harsh reality checks are encouraged though. Bring it on. ::vulnerably opens arms and heart to whatever is about to come::

07:07 / 05.03.04

Maybe this has to do with being on happy pills for 4 years straight and going off of them about 6 months ago. Maybe it'll take a while for me to get back in the gr00ve.

Maybe your almost there?

I feel like the entire world is ignoring me... like I've got some fucked up energy that's keeping people away from me

Tell me about it. Maybe we should start a 'communicate with me you massive assholes!' club. I've felt like that on and off for years. Start ranting to the Gods and Goddesses and ask them why they've decided to be such fucktards with you.

I've usually found that if i go crazy enough something usually snaps and then the bullshit phase ends, but then again i'm pretty lame at the moment to say the least. Maybe you shouldn't follow my advice.

Maybe you should just tell me to fuck off.

07:23 / 05.03.04

You hear the one about the satanist punks who beat each other up metaphysically? They got kicked out of the OTO for being too violent. Damn TOPY show sold out...

07:33 / 05.03.04

Well i think it's a disgrace. You made this thread over an hour ago and i'm the only one to reply. Someone called for a revolution about three hours ago in here aswell and not one reply.

This is fucking lame.

07:51 / 05.03.04

"You guys called for a revolution?"
"Ya! We've been waiting for 3 hours! Where's our freakin revolution?"
"I thought you ordered a pizza."

09:50 / 05.03.04

I suspect you do give off a vibe that other people find, uh, 'challenging' - but I suspect it's more to do with your personality than antidepressants (which is not to say the two can't be linked). You certainly seem to crave more constant stimulation than most: perhaps this exhausts people? Also, you're getting older and so are your friends; they may not want to chill in the same ways...

I actually think your idea of 'going up into the hills' - at least metaphorically - isn't a bad one. Doing without the stimulation of others, for a while at least, might be a useful experience for you.

Give your friends a break, do some solo navel-gazing, then get back to 'em.

Ninjas make great pets

11:51 / 05.03.04

you could help me with my problem if you like... if people are in a helpy advisey mood today..

soooooo...
I met this guy.. rephrase that. I know this guy. He realy likes me. Question is. Do I go with it?

brief history: was in long term relationship (fuck.. almost a decade) until a few months ago. was hurt incredibly badly by the breakup. Now Im terrified I'm just gona hurt this new guy (known about a year but had no idea he liked me) if it turns out Im just rebounding more than steve mcqueens baseball.

the guys:
first one. sweet, tall(ish), funny, intelligent, interesting. Still love him but want to tear him limb from limb at the same time (near future resolve? very very unlikely).
second one. sweet, my height, funny, intelligent, interesting. Really like him, get on very well. He really really likes me. (says I rock - how cool is that?) . future?
..have to see.

getting totally confused between past and present feelings. I don't want to hurt anyone. I can't ask first guy want he thinks. know how new guy feels. can't ask my friends they on even split bias between who they're friends with. I want to do right by the boys but I want to do right by myself too. thing is.. I haven't just simply felt as good as this in a long time.

so.. .. swap emotional imbalance for chemical one?.. to use a local phrase.. "my head is fuckin melted man"

15:14 / 05.03.04

Rebranded: I'm scared of wherever you live.

Rage: Move. Not to the mountains, but just move.