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Your favourite frag

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:09 / 03.03.04

So, satisfying, surreal or just plain ridiculous deaths (your own or others) in computer games? Any takers?

I'm asking primarily because I was pootling through Deus Ex as a sort of sentimental journey the other day, when I founf myself up against Walton Simons at Area 51, having previously always done him in at the undersea base. Problem being, I was in no shape to take him on, really, and felt that a swift relocation of my guts to his mid-claf region would probably be in order. So, having given it a decent amount of thought (and cursed the fates that made it impossible to pick him off before the scripted event), I confronted him, whacked on some thermoptic camo and ran. He pursued, but lost me, and I gained the high ground with him peering about for me. I shot him, then rabbited again as he pursued, knowing that a few shots with his plasma rifle would do me in a treat.

Sooo...long story short, eventually I found myself holed up in abunker (containing a security turret I had previously reprogrammed), with him outside the door lookign for me. Well, you can't miss a chance like that, can you? Opened door, backed away fast, slapped on thermoptic camo and silent running, slipped past hima nd locked the door behind me. Then stood outside listening to the head of FEMA losing a lengthy and bad-tempered argument with a turret-mounted machine gun.

Well, what can I say? I don't get out much.

22:15 / 03.03.04

I absolutely nailed five carts in a row with Bowser's big shell last weekend on Baby Park. I hit two, it bounced around the corner and hit three more. It was carnage.

Bowser and Peach, dude. It's like an iron fist in a velvet glove. Driving a go-kart.

23:01 / 03.03.04

Planetside. I was sniping an enemy base from a tiny ledge on top of a hill. Fully zoomed in I didn`t notice how close I was to the edge and plummeted to my doom.
Fortunatelly I landed on an enemy supply truck.
Although I was killed instantly, several players with twitch reflexes were suprised enough to fire rockets at my corpse. Up goes truck and half a dozen blue on blue kills.

23:03 / 03.03.04

I ran over Ralph Wiggum in the Canyonero. Does that count?

23:37 / 03.03.04

Been playing Metal arms: Glitch in the System recently. Managed to upgrade the Ripper (fires metal saw-style discs) to full strength last night and did some experimenting. Snuck up behind one of the enormo-bots and managed to slice through both of his machine gun arms so they hung loose. Backed away while he was flailing them around, firing wildly and taking out the smaller robots on his own side, and took out both legs. Ran behind his disbled torso and took the remains of both arms off completely with a couple of well-placed shotgun blasts, then severed his shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. Did a little dance in front of him before throwing a grenade at where his feet should have been.

Satisfying.

Also muchos fun is hacking into one of the enemy robots (just like in Paradroid - happy memories) and causing havoc before the others realise what's happened.

My all-time favourite? Perfect Dark multiplayer. Ran down a corridor looking for a gun and straight into somebody who'd already picked one up. Swallowed a combat boost, switching the game into slow-motion, fluked avoiding his shots, slapped him in the face, disarmed him, ran away backwards and plugged him with his own gun. Again, satisfying. And pretty funny, to boot.

Oh wait, I've got another. Not one of mine, but anyway. Tribes 2 online, Capture the Flag. I'm sniping enemy base defenders when I see one of our team flying in on a speeder. He jumps out just before somebody destroys it with a rocket, perfectly times his boost to their flag platform, knicks it, chucks a couple of grenades at their generator, then drops down onto their vehicle supply platform and into another speeder that one of their side has just created before the generator went up, preventing them from making any more, finally using the stolen ship to fly the flag back to our base.

Reminds me of this one time in 'Nam.

23:40 / 03.03.04

That fifth paragraph = comma abuse 101.

23:55 / 03.03.04

My favorite kill is from playing Counter Strike. I was exteremly bad at the time, playing one on one against my "expert" friend at the end of a lan party. He's the type that gets 10 kills for every one death. He called from the other room telling me to turn around. I jump out of the way as he shoots a shotgun at me from point blank range. I spin around and while he reloads the shell I nail him in the head with my AK. Good times.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

01:56 / 04.03.04

Halo deathmatch in the games shop my mate used to work at, playing some loudmouth psycho tosser manchild called Ned. I'm sniping his ass half to death on the Hang 'Em High level when I slip and fall from the top of the level... landing directly behind him. Then I plug him with a perfect headshot. He lets go of the pad to bitch to a guy behind him... and respawns right in front of me. I blow him away before he can touch the pad and he gives up.

I think he wanted to hit me for that.

02:11 / 04.03.04

The most satisfying frag (although less graphic) is in Civilization III, after having someone sneak attack you, make you think you're in trouble, but then after hundreds of years of warfare, finally winning the upper hand, and taking over their civ.

04:46 / 04.03.04

...or in the same game, launching a large-scale nuclear war backed up with a very large army, and proceeding to raze an entire continent within minutes, leaving a large part of the world a bleak no-man's land of pollution and ruins.

...for added fun, back up the army with dozens of settlers to found new cities in the ashes of the old...

05:33 / 04.03.04

Has anyone said "what the heck are you all talking about" yet? If not, I'd like to be the first.

What the heck are you all talking about?

09:37 / 04.03.04

Has anyone said "what the heck are you all talking about" yet? If not, I'd like to be the first.

What the heck are you all talking about?

Computer games. I think 'frag' is when you take someone out, i'm not sure though because i haven't played multiplayer in years and i've never played online, this computer won't be able to handle it at all.

One of my fave kills though was in the sewer at the end of Devil May Cry on PS2 killing the end of game boss for the last time. That thing was a prick.

whothehell@where?

13:09 / 04.03.04

unreal tournament on dreamcast

running around with full armor and a sniper rifle

drunkenly repeating to myself out loud

"motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker..."

as the blaring tv barked out

"head shot, double kill, head shot, multi kill, head shot, m-m-m-monster kill!"

or catching the game leader right after his 30th kill, in the pause before the match ends and wasting him with five rockets, so his little celebration moment is a pile of bloody chunks and me waving like an ass