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Buying a strap-on

Jackie Susann

22:46 / 09.02.04

Like the subject says... I've been thinking about getting a strap-on 'cause I like getting fucked and am mostly sleeping with girls at the moment. So I was wondering if anyone had any advice - I mean, I pretty much know what size and shape I want, but I have no idea about buying dildos, what to look for, or what kinds of harness are better or worse. Can anyone help?

bitchiekittie

01:03 / 10.02.04

this reminded me of a recent conversation where my mom confronted me about strapons, so I posted about it on my lj. mom + talk of naughty toys = icky feelings.

I had only one ever, and it was like a pair of underwear, sorta, and had a nubby inside for me. I didn't care for it, because the fabric along the edge of the nubby bit irritated my skin. I think that's a very important factor, is the comfort of whoever is wearing it. it's hard enough to get comfortable with using a new toy, it's damn near impossible when it's so unpleasant feeling.

Mazarine

01:50 / 10.02.04

Not a work-safe link: Blowfish Harness Guide

Likewise not a work-safe link: Blowfish Dildo Guide

I'm partial to the Blowfishies, they seem like sweet people.

trouser the trouserian

07:48 / 10.02.04

DCP, if you're in the UK, I'd reccomend popping along to the "erotic emporium" Sh! (you have to be accompanied by a woman, note) or if not, just have shmooze around the site - they've a useful FAQ with advice on choosing the "right" dildo, harness, etc. The staff are very helpful and give advice in a friendly and non-judgemental manner (and they do do mail order). From my own experience, the key thing is not so much what you think you want in the way of a strap-on, but the needs of the partner(s) who's going to use it on you - particularly in selecting a harness that's going to be comfortable for your partner to wear.
Another option is having a harness custom-made.

Char Aina

12:54 / 10.02.04

what are anyone's feelings on the lack of response from an inorganic stick up there?

do you, the wearer, get 'feedback' from a strap on?

i worry about that.

LDones

14:39 / 10.02.04

That Blowfish link is comprehensive!

If you live in the US, try Condom Revolution's on-line store - or preferably their stores, if you're in or around southern California. Their in-store selection on harnesses, et al is great and their staff are generally very helpful.

toksik:
There's certainly psychological (not to mention verbal) feedback. Many harnesses also come equipped w/ stimulation for the 'pitcher', as it were, so yeah, there's always feedback of a sort, certainly as much as the performance of oral sex normally gives.

5% nation

17:21 / 10.02.04

I've been thinking about getting a strap-on 'cause I like getting fucked and am mostly sleeping with girls at the moment

Am I missing something here? You want to buy a strap-on for your partner to wear so that she can fuck you, right?

Have you discussed this with...you don't say you have a steady girlfriend. That's fine. How do your partners feel about strapping it on and taking you? Wearing a strap-on can be a very emotional and highly personal experience. I don't know that you can buy a harness and a dildo and expect just anyone to wear/use it. If you want to have a dick that stimulates your partner as well, it's not exactly one-size-fits-all. It's your partner who would wear it, not you--it would essentially be her dick--so I suggest making your purchase with your partner(s)'s help. Bitchiekittie is absolutely right about the necessity of factoring in your partner's comfort.

Jackie Susann

05:57 / 11.02.04

well the plan wasn't to drunkenly bring some girl home and throw the strap-on at her, if that's what you're asking. I'm assuming at least a few of the people I sleep with will be amenable to giving as well as taking. Without going into too much detail, I feel that's a safe assumption.

5% nation

03:25 / 12.02.04

well the plan wasn't to drunkenly bring some girl home and throw the strap-on at her, if that's what you're asking.

No no no, no. I was just in a situation where in the heat of the moment...yes. It was awkward. The sex ended. But it sounds like some of the people you sleep with are at least somewhat aware of your desires and that is good.

Having said that, I've bought toys online from here: (babeland is so so good but an in-person visit might work better for a strap-on. It can be awkward, but then the salespeople are prepared for you to be awkward. But damn, can they ever answer your questions.

An ex has told me that non-leather harnesses tend to break more easily and aren't as comfortable. Good luck to you!

Papess

13:43 / 12.02.04

Hi Crunchy. I have a great strap-on that isn't terribly rugged, but it is versatile. It has various attachments you can buy for it including plugs, probes, vibrators and dildos in many shapes and sizes.

Here is one site that has this strap-on system displayed:
Oviously, NOT work safe!!!

And another good site Again, not work safe!!!

Good luck and good times to you Crunchy.

Cat Chant

11:21 / 13.02.04

My experience was that dildos in gay-male-aimed sex shops (the ones I tried were mostly on Oxford Street in Sydney, oddly enough) tended to be very penis-looking and/or terrifyingly large for my purposes. Sex shops for women had much more choice for the non-realistic and non-huge end of the market.

Um... these good people seem to have provided tons of information, so all I really want to add is, shop around: I've had bad results from going for the "best of a bad bunch", and should have been pickier/gone to more shops/etc.

12:42 / 13.02.04

And another good site...
I'm sure its pedigree is fantastic, but why am I terrified about the idea of anything called "Vacu-lock" getting near my genitals? Mentally translating into "Sucks on - needs Angle-grinder to remove it". Ehhhhhrr.

Anyway, all that, but also - try out someone else's toys (play safe) or experiment with pared-down vegetable options (buy organic) for size checks before you slap down 20 quid for something in silicon.

ibis the being

19:26 / 19.02.04

Saw this Savage Love bit (last question) today and thought of this thread.

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