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I've smoked weed before and been free of all of this but then the next day it's just back to plain old reality and i know magic can free me from this trap.
It might be more productive to try and discard the whole ‘everyday reality’ / ‘magical reality’ dichotomy that seems to come across in your post. The two frequencies are not mutually exclusive, so maybe try and cultivate a world where the magic regularly seeps through into everyday existence rather than framing the two experiences in opposition to one another. If that makes any sense? You sound as if you’re engaged in a mighty struggle to free yourself from an unsatisfactory everyday experience by getting into magic, which I think is a common script, but not necessarily the most effective one.
However i get plagued by the thought that i don't need to do this and that there's another way.
Well, you’ll never know if actively practicing magic is the right way forward unless you try it out. All you can really do at this stage is gather research into these areas and then make your decision based on whatever experiences that brings you.
and am trying to get into Kung-fu, Pakua and Xhing-yi from books or the net and need to go to classes
I’d suggest that you can’t really learn martial arts without one on one instruction. Especially full contact martial arts such as kung fu – if there’s no sparring, you’re not really learning it properly. Also, unless you were brought up in a tradition from birth or have a freaky natural affinity, you’re likely to be making loads of mistakes in posture without realising it. I’d either go to classes or spend your time doing something else.
as i don't see the appeal in all the athames, incense, robes etc. I feel that they aren't needed but they are just guides for the mind anyway aren't they?
Presumably, but tools and props can be really effective in accomplishing specific ends. They are guides for your mind in a similar sense to how a manual tool such as screwdriver is a guide for your mind. You could conceivably unscrew stuff with your fingers, but there’s a handy shortcut for getting the same results. You could argue that something like an athame effects conceptual space in a similar way to how a hammer and chisel effect physical space.
All i'm asking really, is : How do you go from dabbler to magician?
Keep at it until you start to get a sense of some weird thread you feel compelled to follow. Pick up the end of the thread and follow it for the rest of your life, wherever it might lead. Or else don’t, put the telly on, have a cup of tea and enjoy what you’ve got. No harm in either of those choices, so long as your decision instinctively feels right to you.
after i got a reading from someone and got told that it's no use doing a reading for yourself. Don't know why i listened, anything goes in chaos right?
I’m uncomfortable with the statement that ‘anything goes in chaos’ as I think it’s a flawed proposition that can lead to lazy thinking and a lot of really dull self-congratulatory pissing about. But I suppose I don’t really identify as a chaos magician anymore, whatever that means.
Having said that, I’ve always found tarot readings I’ve done for myself to be pretty accurate and haven’t encountered any problems. Although it’s often more productive to get someone else to read for you if you’re particularly close to the subject of the question, as you might not be able to see the wood for the trees.
Is the re-opening of the gate a plan to to restore the balance between chaos and order because the world is too left brain?
I don’t think it’s anything so grand and structured. There’s been a recent thread on Lovecraftian stuff that covered a lot of ground and threw up a few interesting perspectives on this strange non-euclidean corner of the occult world. |
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