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Who do I forgive? Hmmm.
(I had help with this next part from Ramael, one of my imaginary friends. She says Hi.)
Leaving aside the bloody-clawed beast within that bellows for vengance, of course, let us begin:
What needs to be forgiven? 1) Injury done to the flesh, and 2) injury done to the spirit.
1) The flesh is healed without a mark, and the aggressors have no doubt gone on to heap more suffering on their own bodies than they ever meted out to mine. There is no pain in this flesh now that was put there by anyone else. The only pain left is the memory of pain, and the fear of future pain; these two are identical, being the rage of the Self against the Self. "Why did you not defend more ably? Why aren't you stronger, why didn't you run faster?" Therefore it is the Self that hurts the Self at this time.
2) What exactly are these injuries? The pain of an insult. If the insult contained Truth, then there is nothing to forgive. No wrong has been done. But if it isn't true, why the pain? The lie might be propagated from mind to mind, creating future harm. But if there is no truth in the lie, it will not be recieved by strong minds; if a mind is weak enough to accept the lie, where is the harm in losing the respect of a weak mind? Let that mind alone, it will come into its strength without your rage. Attend instead to the defences of your own mind. Why admit the lie? Because you fear the truth of it. Why do you fear the truth of it? Because your mind is weak. Therefore it is the Self, once more, that does harm to the Self.
And so, in the end... I forgive myself. |
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