Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

Fuck, I'm dying

Page: (1)2

16:45 / 09.01.04

fatal gummy bears OD.

what I'm saying is that now that I'm getting closer to official oldness the list of things I cannot eat is growing. all, naturally, my favorites. first was sesame chicken, which makes me horribly, horribly ill. now gummy foods, what a goddamn shame.

there are other things but mainly it's the food that really bothers me.

so tell me, old folks, what sudden and terrible limitations are your bodies chaining you with that you never saw coming?

16:49 / 09.01.04

i feel like my belly is out of control. i feel like such a fat bastard. i'm not, really, objectively, but i've put on weight. i just joined a gym for the first time and i'm a lot more conscious of the health effects of junk food than i used to be.

also, drugs seem to be turning into less appealing highs and longer, crappier comedowns. especially E. christ, i haven't had a really good roll in a while. bleh.

The Apple-Picker

16:57 / 09.01.04

I can't drink as much as I used to, but more than that, I don't want to drink as much as I used to.

Also, I'm trying (with very little success) to stop crossing my legs. I've been getting nervous pain on the outside of my thigh of the top leg. As I have no insurance or no money right now, I can't see a doctor, but I have decided that the nervous pain is probably a bad sign. Trying to stop crossing your legs is way more difficult than I thought it would be. I find them crossed all the time and am tempted to chastize them for their errant ways. Too bad I can't wear the bottom half of those sumo suits all the time. That could help me quit in a jiff.

17:16 / 09.01.04

i have put on weight, as well, altho' i think that is prob'ly more as a result of my lifestyle changing as i've gotten older--not taking dance class in college and running up and down stairs to get to classes, but instead sitting at a desk 9-5.
i am sorta self-obsessed, so i've noticed tiny changes i think many people wouldn't until they became more apparent. like my arm, stomach, and upper lip hair is just a *shade* darker than before.
my knees are going, which had to happen sometime on account of my flat feet. and my feet start hurting sooner in uncomfy shoes.
oh yeah, i used to have better than perfect vision, and now i just have 20/20, and when i'm tired, it dips even worse a bit! frown. and i have a bunch more grey hair, which i started getting at age 12.
a very bad thing about getting older for me is not body-related, but now i have to check the left hands of men who i think are hot before i step to them. bleh.
actually the very worst thing is that in my day i used to have to walk uphill 3 miles in the freezing cold to school and a buck was a lot of money, and now these kids today have it made w/their mtv video games and skateboarding too close to me, i mean one nearly scared the life out of me today! and what's with that crazy 'rap' music?

17:27 / 09.01.04

Please don't die from eating gummy bears BK, quite apart from anything else it's just not a very elegant way to go.

So when exactly are we officially old then?

The worst thing about getting older for me is that I am apparently developing Rheumatoid Arthritis in my hands and in the mornings they feel really stiff and sore. Actually, that's not the worst thing, the worst thing is the fact that if you bring the subject of Arthritis up everybody automatically assumes you are 80. Which obviously I am not.

The Apple-Picker

17:45 / 09.01.04

I'm actually never going to get old, but these are some of the things that let me know I'm getting older.

Grey hair tells me nothing about my age as I've had grey hairs since I was 12, like Praying Mantis. I like 'em, though. I think they're pretty and silvery.

There is such a thing as too much cheese for me now. I've discovered that there is also such a thing as too sweet for me. That is the big landmark. There could be worse limitations, though....

XXII:X:II = XXX

17:59 / 09.01.04

Lately I've been getting strange pains and aches that begin a chorus of paranoid voices in my head that wail that I'm getting cancer. Which I could be, I suppose, and seeing as I've not been to a doctor in about, ohhhhh, SIX YEARS, there's no way to be sure. I sometimes wonder whether the aches I get in my head that make me feel like it's buckling at the seams, or the vague but unpleasant pain that I get somewhere between my right inside thigh and the accompanying nut, or my lymph nodes which may or may not be swollen, or the aches I feel as though are coming from within the bones of my forearms, or the ulcerous sty under my left eyelid, or maybe even the odd sharp flashes I get from the bottom of my ribcage, all of these could be signs of deeper ills, or simply just be their own little annoyances. I guess that now that I have insurance I better check that out.

My right knee is definitely going. I've had a couple times, none recently, that it's completely rolled up on me like a window shade. Give me about a decade and I'll probably need a cane, which might look distinguished when optional but kinda sucks if necessary.

Every so often my hands shake. It's usually after I've been exerting myself. But that's a fucking scary thing for an artist. My vision is slowly going downhill, though I feel that may have slowed in recent years.

I've got a gut I've got to work off while it's still something I could imagine doing in a finite amount of time. My ass and my thighs could use some trimming, too. Meanwhile, my chest and my arms are utterly atrophied, though I suppose that would imply they were ever worth a damn, which they really haven't.

Back hurts more, but I think that's connected to the gut thing: to balance I've got to slump.

Losing my hair, but it's been apparent since I was 18, and thankfully it still retains the appearance of fullness, enough that some friends have claimed surprise when I've pointed it out to them. My poor roommate, who's about a year and a half younger than me, is losing his fast, and my best friend lost his in college and now keeps his head mostly buzzed. But of course, the hair is simply migrating downwards, to my neck, shoulders and back. That I can't stand.

I'm sure there's other stuff, but they're not bothering me at the moment, so I'll leave the laundry list as is.

VJB2

Ninjas make great pets

18:10 / 09.01.04

"I can't drink as much as I used to, but more than that, I don't want to drink as much as I used to."

Im having the opposite problem at the moment, i've been a near tea-totaler for years and years. Things keep happening lately, it was an odd odd new years and its my birthday in about 3 weeks.. I'm feelin hard done by getting old sucks. I'm gona cut my hair, movin flat with my sis joinin up to her gym and I'm going to the pub next door right after this and I am going to get drunk.. Fuck it kids! Gettin old is the reason you've been waiting for to stop putting off all that shit you keep meaning to do (if its like this this year Heaven help me when I hit 30!)

oh and VJB2, feel better soon!

19:22 / 09.01.04

i also get a lot of weird aches and pains. i officially have a bad knee and a good knee, and my neck and shoulders tend to cramp up, sometimes agonizingly so. however, like praying mantis, i tend to attribute that as much to spending my days in my little veal pen of corporate cubicle-dom as to aging per se.

also, younger people annoy me when they don't have proper respect for music that was cool back when i was younger. dang kids and their crazy music. i think that's less relevant to the topic, though. i just wanted to bitch.

19:39 / 09.01.04

Glucosamine seems to work well for joints. If I take it for a few days my hip stops making that cracking noise. Of course, that may just be the placebo effect, but whatever works.

My back has been killing me lately, which makes me feel elderly. Being surrounded by spritely college students doesn't help much. With their midriff tops and their white baseball hats and their hangovers and their loud music.

21:45 / 09.01.04

the worst thing is the fact that if you bring the subject of Arthritis up everybody automatically assumes you are 80. Which obviously I am not.

Tell me about it. Diagnosed with osteo-arthritis in my hips on my 25th birthday. Nice little fucking birthday present that one.

00:14 / 10.01.04

i officially have a bad knee and a good knee

Ah...I remember those days. I have a bad knee and a worse knee. Back when I was waiting tables I made up a formula that for every year waiting tables, I would need to use a cane 2 years earlier (starting with the assumption that I would need one at age 70) I waited tables for about 6 years. As the cold weather hit this week I began to think that perhaps I was being a bit optimistic in my figures.

15:14 / 10.01.04

Hmm. Well all my joints are making god-awful noises that are more reminiscent of someone 60 years my senior; I think I'll have artificial joints of every kind possible by 40.
And I cant smoke pot anymore, without falling asleep straight away. Its pathetic.

15:50 / 10.01.04

ooh, I'm with you with the aches and pains, as well as bizarro joint popping and a weird gritty-sand feel and sound when I do, for example, knee bends. all of a sudden.

I'm sorry so many of you (not so) oldtimers have actual pain going along with your advancing years.

16:23 / 10.01.04

But Gingerbop, you are just a babe in arms!

I now have indigestion which is another truly old person's complaint. I blame this thead.

16:30 / 10.01.04

Got my weight under control finally. That's probably the main thing, realizing that as one gets older one has to really pay attention to diet and exercise. What else? My back. Gotta be a little more careful. Doing some yoga and stretching/strengthning exercises to keep my lower back from going all spazzy on me. And doing A LOT of walking. Best thing for you as you age.

Still get the proverbial aches and pains though. Especially just before and during rain/snow. I think I may be a tad arthritic. Cold and damp weather leaves me feeling run-down. Can't eat spicy food the way I used to, which really sucks, because I LOVE Indian food, especially anything-Vindaloo. Same for drinking the hard stuff. Tequila does evil things to me. I can't sleep if I've had it in any amount, I just toss and turn, sleep a little and then wake up with a jolt and so on, leaving me exhausted by morning. Indulging in damn near anything is an invitation to some sort of unpleasantness.

So when the hell are the Barbelith rejuvination chambers going to be ready?

17:53 / 10.01.04

Yes, dahling Olulabelle, but for years I've been trying to make half my joints go in completely unnatural directions, mostly unsuccesfully. Where've you been, anyway!?

16:49 / 11.01.04

Yeah, getting older sucks. I can't stay up all night any more, have recurring problems with tendonitis and other assorted aches and pains, and may need reading glasses soon.

That one really hurts - had glasses as a young child, was so very happy to ditch them and get contact lenses...

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

17:15 / 11.01.04

but you all looked so young and sexy in the pictures threads! you can't be old!

17:28 / 11.01.04

I've found, ackerchally, that now approaching the big 3-Oh, I'm in better shape than I have benn at any other time in recent memory. I don't drink nearly as much, haven't had a cigarette in four years and my dope consumption is down to 2 or 3 times a week. I even like my job.

Not that I'm not crossed with the occasional "Fuck, I'm dying", but I think I'm mellowing with age too.

(Put that one on my list of things I NEVER thought I'd say.)

21:17 / 11.01.04

Its my birthday, but if i dont celebrate do i still have to get older?
25 thats a quater of a fucking century argghhhhhh

oh no my backs started to hurt, is that arthritis? shit shit shit

must go i have to cry.

09:26 / 12.01.04

Standing up without the accompanying "oooh!" sound.

Feeling sleepy after a big lunch or midday boozing.

Two day hangovers.

09:44 / 12.01.04

I don't consider myself old but I do notice changes, mostly physical. I think that most of these could be addressed by changes in my lifestyle - doing some exercise of some sort might be a start.

I am particularly perturbed at the moment by my digestion. I'm not normally a big eater on a regular basis, but over-indulged at Christmas and spent most of the time I was at home feeling rather bilious - felt like I had a lot of trapped wind, vaguely nauseous, etc. I had to lie down after most meals. I put it down to over-eating and lethargy, but I felt the same yesterday and feel the same today, and I only really ate a lot on Saturday night. I'm wondering whether I need to cut out some rich food groups. I suspect dairy but I hope it isn't that as that would be truly dreadful. Anyone got any ideas?

12:24 / 12.01.04

KCC I looked on a pack of indigestion tablets and it said indigestion, feeling bloated, wind and the whole stomach problems thing can be caused by: smoking, alcohol, fatty foods (such as cheese, oh dear) lack of exercise, and being overweight.

So eat goodly things, don't smoke or drink, and go running everyday. Ha ha ha.

13:07 / 12.01.04

Thank you. I think. Bloody marvellous.

00:27 / 14.01.04

I have found, well into my 30s, that hanging out with people who are at LEAST 20 years older than me helps me feel very young. And, funny, they do talk about their aches, pains, and surgeries a lot.

Recently I decided that when I grow up I am planning to be an old woman. Because it's such an unpopular vocation, at least here in the states...But I like many old women.

The advertising industry has decided our collective age of aspiration is 17--at least that's what Naomi Klein says. But who actually liked being 17? Yechhh.

00:44 / 14.01.04

Ummm.... I dont mind it.
And Im sure all my creaking bones can only degrade further from now on. But like mazarine suggested, Ive been taking glucosamine, and Ihad to circle my arm/shoulder four times before getting a nice clunk.

01:19 / 14.01.04

Good stuff it is. Ooh, I don't know if insomnia is old age related, but I also finally got around to getting some Valerian Root Extract, and man, it may smell horrid, but it's so effective! I'd been having a horrible time getting to sleep, and I'm totally cured, which rocks, because I do love sleep. No waking up at three thirty thrashing around.

The resistable rise of Reidcourchie

08:25 / 14.01.04

I turned 30 this year, I was in so much pain I couldn't dance at my own celebration, though arguably that was due to RSI rather than age (though I didn't seem to get RSI when I was young, in fact I don't think anyone got it until we were told about it, in fact I think it was inflicted on the populace by office furniture manufacturers as a marketing gimmick. A pain ful one.) I won't bore you with the physical stuff. However I now won't go into a pub unless I can find a seat, I go over excited about a switch I bought for my stereo and I had problems recognising that the Darkness where supposed to be ironic.

Originally posted by the Apple-Picker

"There is such a thing as too much cheese for me now. I've discovered that there is also such a thing as too sweet for me. That is the big landmark. There could be worse limitations, though...."

There is no such thing as too much cheese and I suapect I'm allergic to it (I mean fuck, food allergies? We didn't have them when I was a kid.), however I have been told that cheese takes a very long time for cheese to digest. Does this mean that with the amount of cheese I eat that there is constant passage of partially digested cheese flowing through my body like a lava pipe thingyme? If I was to get stabbed in one I spray my attacker in partially digested cheese? Things like this keep me up at night.

08:56 / 14.01.04

Signs that indicate I could be aging:

1. I have become more of a lightweight, and don't tend to want to drink as much.
2. My face has started to sag and has gained more lines.
3. My tastebuds are less discriminating. I can eat many foods I didn't used to like.
4. An old man told me that I looked like I'd been through a lot.
5. The photos on my website of me are beginning not to look like me.

18:54 / 14.01.04

Nowadays, when I kack someone, it really kinda bugs me for a while. I wonder if they have a family at home and stuff. I never used to think about stuff like that.

04:51 / 15.01.04

so, now that i'm getting older, i'm trying to get into better shape and fix all the things that are bugging me about my life.

this led me to wandering around the aisles of the local Whole Foods Market tonight, comparing labels on containers of organic hummus and wondering how i'm going to resolve the fact that i double-booked with my hairdresser and my personal trainer tomorrow afternoon.

i can't tell if this is because i've become a yuppie as i've gotten older or because i've been in California for too long.

jesus, sometimes i think that 17-year-old East Coast rivethead me would fucking kill 28-year-old West Coast stockbroker me =P.

12:24 / 15.01.04

I don’t really feel that different, other than now and then thinking things like “fuck, I seem to have been alive for ages”. And lots of my friends are getting married and having kids, and I don’t have anyone to come with me anymore when I want to go out drinking and clubbing and- WAAAAAAAAAH
Arthritis sufferers, though – I know the score there, had all sorts of RSI and horrible funny joints since my late 20s, but I put that down to scrunching over a keyboard for years, and anyway I seem to be sorting it all out a bit through doing things differently (another opportunity for me to annoyingly plug the Alexander technique, as I have been doing to loads of people for a year or so now and making them think I’m quite weird – found it a miraculous cure for lots of these problems if you have the patience for it, and willing to spend money on lessons)

unheimlich manoeuvre

21:08 / 15.01.04

i work with the elderly in hillingdon. i do NOT have a colostomy bag or a pacemaker. nor do i walk with a zimmer frame or have slurred speech because of a stroke. i don't have terminal cancer or type two diabetes. i'm not housebound and my bones aren't brittle. i don't have children who have forgotten me nor am i looked after by strangers on minimum wage. the present is as real to me as the past.

life is fucking great!

21:28 / 15.01.04

Fuck. I was gonna say I noticed a new wrinkle today, but after that last post, feel somewhat shallow.

Page: (1)2