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Underground > Radio & Music >

The Christmas #1

Matthew Fluxington

12:19 / 23.12.03

Explain this to me. Why are the British so fascinated by what happens to be the top-selling single around Christmas? Why is this important? Why is this something which people actively care about? It's such a peculiar and highly British thing, and I fear it gets lost in the translation from one side of the Atlantic to the other.

Explain it to me. I want to understand.

Tryphena Absent

12:55 / 23.12.03

I'm British, always have been and I don't understand it either. As far as I can work out it's just tradition, like eating Christmas Pudding.

14:28 / 23.12.03

It is odd, isn't it? Did you know only five Christmas number ones have the word "Christmas" in the title? And one of them's Do They Know It's Christmas, which is in the list twice by dint of being released twice by two different mobs?

I had the misfortune to listen to the countdown on Sunday as I was driving home, and that twat who does the chart show was getting himself into a frenzied state of grace over the whole issue.

"HERE IT IS," he screamed. "THE MOMENT THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!!!"

Um, excuse me? The entire world?

Then he got that Gary Jules (or possibly the other one on the phone) who was rather laconic about the whole affair, as what he was lying around a pool in LA or something.

Twat: HOW DO YOU FEEL!?!

Mad World bloke: Um, okay, I suppose.

Twat: BUT HOW DO YOU FEEL!?! YOU'VE GOT THE NUMBER ONE! AT CHRISTMAS! ISN'T IT THE BESTEST BESTEST EVER FUCKING THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, LIKE DROWNING IN PUPPIES OR SOMETHING?

God, I got all embarrassed for him.

15:13 / 23.12.03

This year it was the song from Donnie Darko. (With lots of pictures of Frank on the CD cover)

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:42 / 23.12.03

I think it's largely to do with resigning yourself to whatver you're gonna be hearing incessantly as you attempt not to go totally postal while doing the last-minute Christmas shopping...

(or while stuck in a service station after a particularly spacky piece of hitch-hiking- although, it being the season of goodwill, I'll spare you that story)

07:06 / 24.12.03

I care about Christmas number one. It's all tied in with Christmas day Top Of The Pops for me. It's my TV event of Christmas day, it looks back at the year in pop and ends with the current number one as a measure of where the public has travelled to musically throughout the year. I'm quite happy with Mad World, wouldn't have minded The Darkness. Prodigy's Fire Starter is my favourite Christmas number one of all time, though.

I should probably say that I don't vote by buying pop records, I am merely an observer who lives on the moon. Some people take the piss out of the size of my head. When people take the piss out of the size of my head I go into my citadel and cry and wank whilst listening to Love Bites by Def Leppard.

14:14 / 25.12.03

I’ve just remembered that my favourite Christmas pop moment ever is Bros’ interpretation of ‘Silent Night’. Matt performed it, castrati-style, as the closer to Christmas Top Of The Pops one year, dressed in a flouncy ‘Spanish-waiter’ shirt, smudged eyeliner, and a fantastic frosty pink lipstick. The herd of teenyboppers around him looked scared. My dad actually used the traditional TOTP-watching-Dad line “Huh! Is that a boy or a girl?”, I thought it was great.

Just thought I’d share that Christmas memory. I knew you’d all understand, even though I think it actually stalled at Christmas number two for some reason.

20:44 / 25.12.03

Fraeley Boyce - Hey, Firestarter was never a Christmas number One, never, no way man. I’m true drunk to actually, y’know, check, ( and it doesn’t matter anyway), but I remember it as a summer hit. Can’t remember actual specifics but that record definately conjures up dancing outside like a gangly-armed idiot, barefoot and with the sun on my face. Not Christmas.

Best Christmas number one ever is Always on my mind, but I may have already said that. Tell me I’m wrong if you thnk yr hard enough.

And, I havnt owned a telley in years, tewll me what happened on todays special chrimbo totp?