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Want to talk about your exes?

Whisky Priestess

14:25 / 15.12.03

A friend of mine who works on New Woman magazine is looking for ladies (probable age range 20-40) who are willing, for the sake of a free lunch and some short-lived fame, to bring in pictures of four or five of their exes and talk about the relationship, what went right, what went wrong etc.

I suppose the other advantage (one of the reasons I was considering doing it, before I realised I have almost no printable pix of my exes) is that you could subtly plug something you're working on in the pages of the magazine, thusly:

"This is Simon, yeah, we went out for about six months and he was the one who gave me the idea for starting allmenarebastards.com ..."

"Jamie and I are still friends, co-hosting a weekly karaoke night at the Dog and Frog in Kensal Rise"

etc. etc.

If you're interested, PM me and I'll give you her email.

Tryphena Absent

14:57 / 15.12.03

Photos are the problem here... does anyone have 4 or 5 pictures of various exes? Wouldn't that make you anal? I have one photo of my most recent ex and I haven't got a clue where it is. I think it might have gone with a load of other junk that I threw out recently. Seeing people you used to screw in the pub because you stupidly introduced them to all your friends is quite enough without having their image lying around the house. On top of that you'd have to reveal a significant part of your life to a load of women who read trashy national magazines... this has got to be worse than appearing in J17 and confessing your wish to be a bisexual Jewish vampire (yes, someone I know did that).

Linus Dunce

15:21 / 15.12.03

To all my exes (not that there are very many, nor that they'll be reading this, I'm sure):

If you print my picture without (a), seeking my permission and (b), paying me the money I ask for in return for that permission, I will sue your sorry, self-centred, Carrie-Bradshaw-wannabe arse.

:-)

Char Aina

15:25 / 15.12.03

ARGH.

shit like this is why i have problems with trust...

"no, of course i won't tell all in a the national press. even if i did, and i wont, i certainly wouldnt identify you by name, or give them an embarrasing picture of you in my bra."

you folks with loose lips are ensuring that i will never be prime minister.

or happy.

none

Bear

15:50 / 15.12.03

Deep breathes Toksik...happy thoughts.

15:52 / 15.12.03

what went right, what went wrong etc.

"That was Torquil - an awful shame, the most soulful eyes. he slipped while we were hiking up the North side of Mont Blanc. The body was never found. I suspect he may have fallen into a crevasse and been partially consumed by wolves before he could use his distress rocket.
Heinrich. Had a very firm, thrusting jaw. Accidental strangulation in the fridge door. Could have happened to anyone, given a wet floor and a polyester tie.
Josiah sprang from our honeymoon balcony, the local gendarme was terribly kind...
Gervase. Manful thumbs. Choking."

w1rebaby

15:59 / 15.12.03

I am shocked and dismayed that nobody has yet proposed a Barbelith imaginative expedition. Perhaps we could move this to the Creation, and come up with good photographs, some stories and one or more female volunteers to perform.

Whisky Priestess

15:59 / 15.12.03

Hmm, no, I certainly know what you mean, toksik, but I don't think the purpose of the whole thing is meant to be vengeful, merely informative about the people you choose and why you choose them ...

Thing is, there must be some people happy and willing to do this sort of thing because she's already got three or four people signed up. However I expect it would be a good idea to get the permission of the exes in question if anyone does want to do this. I presume it's not actually unethical or illegal as journalism or they wouldn't be doing it. And if you don't want to do it, that's fine - I just said I would put it out there as a favour to a friend.

Whisky Priestess

16:02 / 15.12.03

Actually if someone's willing to make everything up using pictures of strangers that would be far more interesting, if even more dodgetastic ...

Char Aina

16:04 / 15.12.03

better to send photos of yourself in drag.

Char Aina

16:49 / 15.12.03

I presume it's not actually unethical or illegal as journalism
maybe not, but then that does'nt mean it is a nice thing to do.

there must be some people happy and willing to do this sort of thing
neither does that.

don't take my issues personally, just don't ever go out with me if you feel like doing this kinda thing.

please.

Char Aina

16:55 / 15.12.03

and yes, i do take on board that for you it's not a vengeful thing.
i'm not entirely confident that such disclosure is always recieved as intended, however.

what may be to you a funny story that makes X so much more endearing for his/her foibles might be seen by X as a betrayal.
(and yes, i did notice you suggesting permission would be a good thing. i agree, but i think you'd still have to be careful what the mag did with what you sent them. once they have the pictures and tales they are free to do with them what they will, within reason.)

bitchiekittie

17:03 / 15.12.03

I can see telling your stories, good or bad. but with photos? I, too, have a problem with giving up ANY definitively identifying details.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:53 / 15.12.03

fridge: I am shocked and dismayed that nobody has yet proposed a Barbelith imaginative expedition.

I am so so soooo up for that. Doing the dirty on an ex for a free lunch = ick. Lying for a free lunch = free lunch.

I'm even willing to pose as an ex. I could be that guy you met over the internet who turned out to be a chick. That would rock.

Whisky Priestess

19:14 / 15.12.03

You are all bad people. We must start immediately.

Matthew Fluxington

19:37 / 15.12.03

If you print my picture without (a), seeking my permission and (b), paying me the money I ask for in return for that permission, I will sue your sorry, self-centred, Carrie-Bradshaw-wannabe arse.

Ignatius J = 100% OTM. He wins the thread. Goodnight.

Matthew Fluxington

19:38 / 15.12.03

I mean, REALLY. Is basic decency and the respect of another person's privacy meaningful to anyone anymore?

Whisky Priestess

20:23 / 15.12.03

Lawks no. This is women's magazines we're talking about!

Matthew Fluxington

20:50 / 15.12.03

The thing that really gets me mad about that thing is that you have to identify the guy and show multiple pictures of him - I find this to be an appalling assault on the man's privacy even if everything you say about him is great. It's just awful and tasteless. It's one thing to talk openly about your past, but I think it is for the best to keep the names of those involved secret as a matter of kindness, respect, and courtesy. I can't imagine any person who would seriously do this WITHOUT being vindictive, thoughtless, selfish, and cruel. And then I'm sure they'd wonder why they can't find a good boyfriend...well, I'm sure that just doing something like this is ample proof of why that person wouldn't DESERVE one.

Whisky Priestess

21:29 / 15.12.03

Maybe they are using pseudonyms, I dunno.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:44 / 15.12.03

Pseudonyms? Look, a fake name is fuckall use if you go into work on Monday and that picture of you in your former's foundation garments is pinned up on the notice board. Which is why I have no compunction whatever in suggesting that people play silly buggers with the project.

Goodness Gracious Meme

21:45 / 15.12.03

I am so up for faking one. Have plenty of shameless male friends who'd be up for being 'the one who ran away with his squash buddy', or 'the one who dumped me by moving to Antarctica and sending me a postcard'....

Bags Mordant as 'the one who came back from a business trip as a man'. (although that's more Chat! territory, I'd have to 'not have noticed that he'd changed alot'...)

Women's magazines often do use pseudonyms, but that's surely rather pointless if they want photos...

w1rebaby

21:55 / 15.12.03

We'd have to have stories that pushed the boundaries but didn't entirely stray over the line. Something that came over as relatively boring, but on closer inspection was ridiculous.

Or of course there's always the in-jokes. "Bob was a nice guy, but what really got to me was that he was constantly demanding 'huggles'. I mean, 'huggles'? I had to end it, even if he did tell me he was traumatised by his granny coming out as gay."

Matthew Fluxington

22:17 / 15.12.03

Oh God, and then there's "ass candling"...

w1rebaby

22:37 / 15.12.03

"It wasn't the strap-on so much as the fact that he kept calling me Blake."

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:41 / 15.12.03

"That's Stephen, he left me for a beautiful bisexual ex model"

gravitybitch

23:39 / 15.12.03

"That's Pat - ze became a beautiful bisexual model..."

Whisky Priestess

00:22 / 16.12.03

"That's Jimmy, he always wore a fake rubber face in photos and insisted on my calling him Fred"

"That's Tom: inspired by the Invisibles, he started an internet bulletin board and left me in order to spend more time with it ... sob"

"Oh sorry, that's my mum. Yes, she has got a bit of a 'tache."

"That's H.M. before the operation ... that's after. Oh ew, not that one, that's during ..."

ephemerat

11:48 / 17.12.03

"Odd preferences: I still have images of him straining above me waving a cutlass in one hand and a hook in the other while shouting 'Arrrgh! You're in for a Jolly Rogering!'"

Ariadne

11:56 / 17.12.03

I love the idea of making this up.

As for doing it for real, I agree with toksik that it's crap behaviour and I'd shoot any ex of mine who did this.

But I do have photos of most of my exes - do you really throw everything away everytime you break up, Tryphena? I've never seen any reason to get rid of them. But then I'm friends with most of my exes, so maybe I'm just odd.

Tryphena Absent

12:03 / 17.12.03

Actually I never take the photos in the first place, or I forget to develop them once they've been taken. I have four films in my bedroom and they're all at least a year old. God knows who I have pictures of!

Couldn't we use pictures from the photos thread (and suddenly I've dated Jade and the other two Jade triplets and Jake Doonfild).

Cat Chant

15:19 / 17.12.03

there must be some people happy and willing to do this sort of thing because she's already got three or four people signed up.

Um, yes. See regular weekly feature "This Is My Love Life" in that's life! for the past two years.

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