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How many forum members does it take to change a light-bulb?

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10:04 / 30.11.03

From: How many forum members does it take to change a light-bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

pointless and uncalled for

10:29 / 30.11.03

Not enough sleep last night Tom?

Besides, you forgot to add 3 to start a poll about whether lightbulbs are pirate or ninja. (Clearly pirate as although they are silent they just aren't stealthy)

Less searchable M0rd4nt

10:35 / 30.11.03

5 to conduct a four-page numerological analysis of the word LIGHTBULB
3 to discuss how you could use the lightbulb to charge a sigil
1 to decide he's going to invoke the lightbulb to help him pass his Chemistry GCSE
3 to denounce the use of lightbulbs as "low" magick

pointless and uncalled for

10:40 / 30.11.03

6 to complain that certain entries are now off topic and that each poster should have started a different thread to avoid rottage.

10:43 / 30.11.03

3 to complain about the lack of SPOILER warnings at the start of the thread... (I didn't know the lightbulb got changed! Thanks a lot!)

pointless and uncalled for

10:54 / 30.11.03

14 to post pictures of their favourite lightbulbs
8 to complain about pictures in the thread with no pics warning
3 to say that pic warnings aren't justified

Less searchable M0rd4nt

10:55 / 30.11.03

1 to claim that the lightbulb is actually a listening device that broadcasts everything you say back to the Government/Lizards/Elders of Zion.
15 to call 1 a fruitloop.
1 to start posting in ALLCAPS.
15 to call 1 an ALLCAPS-using fruitloop.
2 to start agreeing with everything 1 says in a suspiciously similar posting style to 1.

pointless and uncalled for

10:57 / 30.11.03

4 to claim multiple suits
7 to plead for tolerance and not make wild accusations about multiple suits without evidence
2 to say that the forum is dying

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:11 / 30.11.03

1 to post to the effect that all those starving children in Africa are probably really imressed with the forum's wasteful and decadent lightbulb consumption.
2 to suggest all-natural lightbulb substitutes made of hemp.

11:16 / 30.11.03

Three to say the original lightbulb was blown because it was a symbol of US consumerism. One to argue that the distinction between light bulbs and neon tubes is an artificial distinction, proved by the existence of long-life light bulbs. :-)

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:17 / 30.11.03

5 to interrogate the phallologocentricity inherent in the lightbulb's reinforcement of a dualistic/technocratic mindset by denying the possibility of any state between 'on' and 'off' and by its implication that light (knowledge and understanding) must come from a masculine/penetrative artifact.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:32 / 30.11.03

At least 1 to double-post in the thread discussing lightbulbs.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:32 / 30.11.03

At least 1 to double-post in the thread discussing lightbulbs.

12:40 / 30.11.03

And, of course, 1 to precipitate this nonsense by starting the thread in the first place.

14:01 / 30.11.03

19 to feel guilty about being white, middle class, heterosexual and an abuser of light bulbs for their own purposes. And then explaining how the use and abuse of light bulbs is all linked to the class system and racism and... how they would stop it, if they weren't so lazy (but it's ok, because they feel guilty about being lazy).

I need a drink.

15:36 / 30.11.03

3 to mention new technologies for light bulbs that do not need changed for many years.
7 to argue the validity of said products, providing links to pages of dubious credibility.
5 to claim that new technologies are withheld by the corporate masters in favor of disposable models to fuel consumerism.
9 to call them kooks.
12 to argue that this argument should be taken elsewhere and where it should go.
4 to argue about arguments in general and suggest a non-argument thread on light bulbs.
6 to completely derail the thread with Joycore pictures of random happy people featuring lightbulbs.
27 to make cock jokes.

16:45 / 30.11.03

5 to quote Grant Morrison out of context on the magickal, utopian, or consciousness-altering properties of lightbulbs; another 3 to argue that he stole the idea from someone else; 2 to provide their own lengthy interpretation, along with diagrams, flow charts, tarot cards based on the differing sorts of lightbulbs, and blogs; and 1 to say that he already wrote a good lightbulb story for 2000AD 20 years ago, that he has a copy of the issue, and is auctioning it off on eBay.

16:52 / 30.11.03

1 to say how weary they are about all this conversation on lightbulbs and can we please discuss something else!

10 to agree.

3 to accuse the previous of being cliquey & elitest.

23 to blow it all out of proportion.

5 to bewail the situation and plead "Why can't we all just change the lightbulb together?!?"

1 to ask "What do people think Grant Morrison wants the lightbulb to change into?"

17:08 / 30.11.03

CHANGE

THIS!

18:04 / 30.11.03

Yeah, 1 to post a pic about lightbulbs.

Another to request "[PICS]" be added to the thread title.

18:08 / 30.11.03

I've only twice changed a lightbulb. Putting in a 20 watt rainbow bulb, realising it was shite and I couldnt see, and changing it back again. I cant believe I am a lightbulb anecdoter.

04:22 / 01.12.03

Two to say, "Ouch. I resemble that remark," and explain in great detail.

And then realize it was done much better by 8 of the original 14 who posted their lightbulb stories.

08:07 / 01.12.03

1 to be impressed at all the comedy lightbulb posts, and who then posts something asinine and pointless just to be able to contribute.

The resistable rise of Reidcourchie

08:45 / 01.12.03

1 to say they prefferred the light bulb's earlier work

2 to point out it's all derivative of work the gas lamp's already done.

09:19 / 01.12.03

1 to create a fictionalised character called Captain LightbulbNigger and go on to detail his kooky rape/genital mutilation adventures as a JOKE/challenge to Barbelith's politically-correct status quo.

3 to delete his posts and chinstroke over deleting the entire thread.

2 to protest the harsh, Nazi-esque censorship in 'first they came for Captain LightbulbNigger' stylee.

1 to evoke Godwin.

1 to state (extremely unconvincingly) "I'm a new poster who's been lurking for ages, and I think this Captain LightbulbNigger is a breath of fresh air, and you're all dickwads for deleting him. UNCENSOR HIM NOW!!!"

5 to stir the shitstorm.

1 to close the board and in the darkness bind them.

10:41 / 01.12.03

1 wag to tell the unenlightened that the lightbulb has to want to change
1 post from lightbulbboy to say 'Stop trying to change me!'
1 buddhist to tell them all change must come from within
45 replies simultaneously posted about the hotdog joke (Buddhist to vendor 'Make me one with everything')

11:28 / 01.12.03

At some point, someone will say they wished Apple made light bulbs.

The next 10 posts will consist of the words "Oh, so do I", followed by discussion of how much better life would be if that were the case.

olulabelle - I resemble that remark...

11:43 / 01.12.03

I'm afraid I won't be posting again as I can't handle this light bulb controversy.

11:51 / 01.12.03

1 to ask what Grant Morrison wants the light-bulb to change into.

3 to point out that someone had already said that and that ze should have read the whole thread before posting.

Morlock - groupie for hire

12:06 / 01.12.03

1 to start the "all new lightbulbs of your life - 2003" thread.

lather, rinse, repeat...

15:55 / 01.12.03

FUCK YOU ALL ND FUCK THIS REACTIIONRY LIGHBU;LB SHIT WHA TABOUT THE ReVaLoOoShUn!!!!

16:08 / 01.12.03

I hope you realise that if any one of you fascists so much as touches that bulb I'll leave, and never come back. Not ever.

02:23 / 02.12.03

1 to point out that all this lightbulb changing is just another example of Political Correctness gone mad.

Whisky Priestess

09:51 / 02.12.03

1 to start the Lightbulb Lateshift.

47 insomniacs to contribute to it.

Captain Zoom to post a poem about lightbulbs.

Brigade du jour

10:49 / 02.12.03

1 to throw in an apparently unrelated post.

That reminds me. I need to get a stepladder.

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